Scars
by astarte-lydianna
Summary: After the Cullens left Forks a lot happened and when Bella runs into a certain blonde Cullen again it it gives them both a chance to make the scars fade. And a chance to bring the family back together. Bella/Jasper *Revised!* *New Chapter up!*
1. Chapter 1

Author's Notes: To all of those of you waiting for updates on Hideaway and Shards of a Fairytale, they should be up this week! The reason I don't update all the time is because I update stuff as I write and I only write when inspiration hits. So I tend to jump between stories a lot. Hope you like this new.

Special thanks to my beta JenJenSon for doing this story for me!

Disclaimer: I don't own it, don't sue

Scars

Chapter 1

Jasper POV

I had been separate from my old "coven" for a year now. I had joined a few old friends instead for a while. They believed that drinking any blood, human or animal was OK, but killing humans was not and only if the human willingly donated the blood. My control was a great improvement to what it was a few years back. Now I was on my own for a while. I was thinking about heading back to the others. Then a scent caught me. I froze. I knew that scent. I knew her. That scent still haunted me. The day I had attacked Bella was the end of Alice and I. That scent was Bella.

I glanced around but didn't see her, not immediately anyway. Then I spotted her. Dancing with a group of people under the lights. I made my way closer. I probably shouldn't have done, but curiosity really did get the better of me.

I danced with a girl close to her for a moment, debating whether to talk to her. I watched her, she was dancing with another girl...very provocatively. I didn't normally like places like this, I could feel the lust pouring off of every person in the room, the nausea of those who had had one too many, I felt it all. I had learned to turn down my talent, sort of block it out a bit. I still felt everything, but not as strongly and it made being in crowds of people bearable. In fact sometimes I came to bars and clubs to test myself around humans, and my bloodlust had never once slipped up...not yet anyway. I had a few close calls when there had been fights and someone got hurt; I'd have to leave pretty quickly.

I took in the sight of Bella. She was older obviously, but physically hadn't changed much; she was drunk by the look of it, or at least mildly intoxicated. She wore a short dark skirt and a red top that although loose, revealed more than enough skin. It didn't feel as wrong as I would have thought eying up my "brother's" ex-girlfriend. I let my gaze roam over the skin of her back and down the front of her top as she danced, travelling up and down her legs. I suddenly snapped out of my daze as I caught another scent. I looked to another figure in the back on the club. He stood against the wall and his gaze was fixed on Bella. Of course it would be, it would seem she was still a danger magnet. The other vampire looked up at me in acknowledgement but then straight back to Bella not seeming to notice my anger towards him.

Of course Bella had always smelled particularly appetising to vampires but she was also dressed like vampire bait. Red lips and red top on her pale skin just screamed eat me to a vampire and this vampire definitely intended on doing so. I was right near her now and she hadn't noticed me yet. The other vampire had moved toward her now. Him she did notice. I felt for her emotions, panic, hurt, fear and anger.

"Care to dance with me?" he asked. His gaze fixing hers. He was dazzling her. I was just about to snatch her arm and pull her away when her mouth opened.

"No thank you." She said through gritted teeth. I felt the other vampire's shock that his glamour had not worked on her.

"And why is that?" he asked. "Are you sure I cannot convince you?" He tried again, moving closer.

"I don't think you should be in here." She told him. I was now stood right behind her and it wasn't until the other vampire looked at me Bella turned to see me.

"Jasper?" she asked.

"This human is mine I intend on enjoying her myself so I think you'd best back off." I hissed at him.

"I apologise." He said smoothly. "I had no idea she had been marked. Unless of course you haven't marked her yet...then she's free game." I took Bella's hand and held it out for the vamp to see. His eyes widened in surprise.

"Not only marked but fed off of...and you still live?" he smiled cruelly. "I don't know whether you're very lucky or unlucky." He chuckled and stepped back amongst the crowd and was gone.

Bella looked at me, she was scared of me, I could feel it, but there was also relief.

"I'm sorry if I scared you." I told her, throwing her a wave of calm. "I had to make him think you were a human pet or I would have had to fight him." I felt for her feelings but couldn't catch anything for a short while, almost like she was feeling too many different things that she couldn't decide how she felt. Then I felt a huge wave of happiness and love before she threw herself against me.

"Jasper what are you doing here?" she exclaimed. That was the Bella I remembered, the Bella who loved everyone and brought light into my old family. Shame it hadn't lasted, but that had been on a large part my fault. "Let's go outside, you can tell me everything!" She seemed so excited. Maybe she thought the whole family was here.

I let her take my hand and all but drag me outside. Before she stopped and suddenly she was shy and quiet. She was almost exactly the same girl she had been in Folks nearly three years ago.

"Tell me everything Jasper, where did you all go? What have you been doing? How is Alice? And Esme and Carlisle?" she asked excitedly. Then I felt a huge wave of grief hit me like a brick wall in the face. Even with my talents trying to block out the feeling it had nearly sent me to my knees. "Is he here?" she asked quietly.

"No, I'm here alone." I told her.

"I don't understand..." she said quietly.

"None of our family seemed to take leaving Folks very well." I told her. "We all had different opinions on the way Edward handled things. And what I did...I'm really sorry about that by the way."

"I never blamed you Jasper." She whispered. She looked up at me. "I've replayed it in my head over and over and I've never once blamed you. I cut myself and _he_ was the one who pushed me."

"Trying to protect you from me." I said.

"Jasper tell me...you feel everything that the others feel, yes?" she asked, looking up at me.

"Of course." I replied.

"I saw everyone's faces when I cut myself. Everyone except Carlisle was fighting not to do the very thing you did. You felt that Jasper. If I could see that you most definitely felt that. You were never weaker than they were Jasper." She told me. "Have you slipped up since you've been on your own?"

"No." I said, understanding what it was she was pointing out. Carlisle had tried to point out the very same thing but at the time I had felt too guilty to listen.

"You're stronger than them Jasper. Not just twice as strong but like six times as strong." She said firmly.

I felt a huge weight lifting off of my shoulders. This was the girl I had wronged and she had never even blamed me in the first place.

Bella POV

It was strange being the one to comfort Jasper. It was strange seeing Jasper at all. I was desperately holding my control together to keep from falling apart at the thought of him. I knew Jasper would feel it the moment I gave in so I focused very hard on not even thinking about him.

"Everyone else is fine." He said after a moment of silence. "We all went to Alaska for a while. Edward left nearly the moment we got there." I felt pain the moment his name left his lips but he quickly continued. "Emmett and Rose left a few months later for another honeymoon. They returned a year later. Then I left. I still speak to them from time to time. They're all fine."

"Where did you go? Didn't Alice come with you?" I asked, as we started walking to a bench on the other side of the street.

"No, Alice and I broke up, we had separate paths to follow. I went to join some old friends for a while and then came here by myself. I was actually thinking about where to go next when I spotted you." He finished.

"But I thought Alice said you were each other's destiny." I asked.

"Well...sort of. She just appeared one day. She said I would love her and she would love me. So we did. She told me we would go join Carlisle and his family and we did. I guess she was right I did love her. I do love her still. But she never said we were forever and we weren't. Who knows what the future will bring?"

"I guess you're right. I never thought I'd see you again." I smiled. "I always hoped you would all come back. I mean a lot happened after you left...I just thought Alice would see it but she didn't. No one came. One day I just gave up waiting and left Folks."

"What should she have seen?" he asked. Thoughts of my last memories of Folks filled my head and my control was gone. I could remember the pain of James breaking my leg like it was yesterday but still the pain in my heart was worse, the venom was excruciating but I would take it gladly, I could have died in the water at La Push and been grateful...anything but _that_...

Jasper POV

The pain I had felt when she thought about Edward was bad, this was insane. It was crippling. She was clutching at her chest as if to stop it ripping open. She could barely breathe. How long had she been holding this kind of pain in? How long had it been pushed to the back of her mind? Most importantly what the hell had happened?

Surely something that caused this...Alice must have seen it...how could she have not seen it?

I pulled Bella against me and held her while she broke down. Although her pain was affecting me so much I was probably clinging to her also. I didn't know humans could feel this much pain. They were such fragile creatures surely it would kill them to feel like this... Maybe it did for some.

I don't know how much time passed, time doesn't mean much to vampires, but Bella started shivering. It was late now or early, I wasn't sure. It would be getting colder in the next few hours and then it would only be a few more hours before I had to leave her anyway it was supposed to be sunny tomorrow. I stood up, taking her with me. I didn't ask, I just did, and I carried her.

"Where do you live?" I asked her. She didn't reply. She just continued to cry like the world was falling around her. "Alright then, mine it is." I said more to myself than to her. I hadn't figured out how to get there yet, I would have to disentangle her from me to put her in the car.

When we got to the car I put her in the seat and belted her in before tugging at the parts of my shirt she had balled up in her fists. It was both worrying and endearing that she had suddenly become so reluctant to let me go.

"I'm not going anywhere, we're just heading to mine." I told her. "You can get cleaned up and get a good night of sleep and we can talk about it in the morning."

I saw her nod. She wasn't in hysterics anymore. She just sobbed quietly looking out of the car window. She didn't even comment on the speed we were going. The houses started to get fewer and farther between and then I pulled off the main roads towards my house. I got out and helped Bella out also. She took my hand and looked up at me suddenly going red and let off little waves of embarrassment.

"Thanks, Jasper." She said. "You didn't have to help me, or bring me here."

"Now what kind of gentleman would I be if I left a little lady out all by herself at night?" I said, letting my southern accent fill my voice. "Come on, let's get you inside."

Bella POV

The house was simple and tidy inside, there wasn't much in the way of personal belongings...in fact the only sign that someone lived there was the guitar in the corner of the living room. I presumed there would be at least clothes upstairs but I wasn't sure I wanted to see his room.

"Sit down." Jasper said, breaking the silence. I stepped into the living room and sat on the couch awkwardly. What now? After the shock and excitement of seeing one of them again now what? Jasper and I were never close we'd barely spoken before they'd left for fear of him slipping up... We'd covered what had happened with the family since they left and then I burst into hysterics at him...now I just felt embarrassed and uncomfortable.

"Here." His voice came again as he handed me a warm cup of chocolate. "Let's get you warmed up you're nearly as cold as me darlin'." I smiled and mumbled a thank you as he sat down next to me.

"Sorry about that." I murmured.

"Emotions are better out than in. Trust me, I'm the expert." He smirked. I glanced nervously at those golden eyes.

"You're not going to give me the twenty questions?" I asked. I just wanted that part over with.

"No." He replied simply. I looked at him waiting for him to elaborate. "Figure if I need to know you'll tell me eventually anyhow." I just nodded, sipping at my hot drink nervously. I felt my legs stop twitching and calmness creep through me.

"No fair." I murmured.

"You need it. Why are you so nervous anyhow?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "I told you I'm not askin' if you're not tellin'."

"Aren't most humans nervous when alone with a big scary vampire?" I teased. He narrowed his gaze at me threateningly.

"I'm not going to eat you Bella." He replied. He actually looked quite scary for a moment.

"That's not what you said to the other guy." I grinned. Jasper's stern face twitched before a smirk graced his handsome face.

"If you'd have rather gone home with him be my guest." He said, gesturing to the door.

"Of course not, and in my defence I was telling him to get lost." I pointed out; I leaned back into the couch and closed my eyes. Jasper's calming waves felt good, I hadn't felt so relaxed in a long time.

_Find Me Here  
Speak To Me  
I want to feel you  
I need to hear you  
You are the light  
That's leading me  
To the place where I find peace again.  
_

Jasper POV

"Bella as several members of my family have pointed out, you are a danger magnet. Did you think he would just say ok and walk..." I trailed off as I noticed Bella's breathing. She was asleep. "Never mind."

I lifted her off of the couch and carried her upstairs to the bed, all the while ignoring the slight burn growing in my throat. I'd better nip out and hunt before morning...

I left her asleep on the bed while I went to hunt and contemplated what the morning would bring.

Author's Notes: Hope you like it. Review it and let me know. The lyrics at the end are from a song by Lifehouse called Everything xx


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Notes: To all of those of you waiting for updates on Hideaway and Shards of a Fairytale, they should be up this week! The reason I don't update all the time is because I update stuff as I write and I only write when inspiration hits. So I tend to jump between stories a lot. Hope you like this new.

Special thanks to my beta JenJenSon for doing this story for me!

Disclaimer: I don't own it, don't sue

Scars

Chapter 2

Jasper POV

When I was wondering what to expect in the morning...I should have been thinking afternoon because it was now nearly four and Bella was still snoring away upstairs. Well not really snoring, just breathing loudly. Sometimes I wish I could just go to sleep myself, switch off.

I heard movement from upstairs but it was another ten minutes before Bella appeared in the kitchen. She still looked half asleep.

"Bella, go back upstairs and sort yourself out, I'll make you something to eat if you want." I offered. She nodded slowly. "Go have a shower and wake yourself up a little, I'm sure you can find some clothes upstairs to borrow too, even if they are a bit big."

Bella POV

I felt like the living dead. Why is it when you sleep for a long time you always feel like you have a hangover? I guess my body needed a shutdown because I don't even remember getting to bed and the next thing I know I'm in a strange bedroom and the clock says that's it's ten to four in the afternoon.

I stepped into the shower and let out a sigh. That felt better, a lot better. I washed my hair and although I didn't have a toothbrush I did use the mouthwash by the sink. Did vampires need mouthwash and a toothbrush and toothpaste? I guess maybe he's worried about blood staining his teeth? I rummaged around in the closet in the bedroom for a while rather embarrassed at the thought of wearing Jasper's clothes. In the end I just dug out a big chequered shirt and slid my underwear and skirt back on. I folded my top and bra up and left them on the bed with my handbag for now before heading back downstairs.

"Feel better?" Jasper asked, as I entered the kitchen.

_And if you'd get inside my head, then you'd understand  
Then you'd understand me  
_

"Much." I replied, sitting at the table to a glass of fruit juice and some egg and bacon on toast. "Thanks Jasper." He just kind of shrugged in response as if bringing home a hysterical girl and giving her breakfast was normal. "I mean it. It means a lot to see a friendly face."

"I wouldn't exactly call mine a friendly face." He smirked.

"You're not a monster Jasper." I murmured, tucking into my breakfast.

Jasper POV

I could feel that her statement was genuine, so I didn't bother to respond. I felt like a monster most of the time. I couldn't help feeling partially responsible for tearing apart my family. It was a feeling that wasn't just going to go away. I knew I wasn't the only one responsible; everyone played their parts...but in the long run sometimes despite all logic you just can't shift the guilt.

I turned to Bella, her emotions catching my attention. She was looking at me, she must have been wondered why I was staring into space.

"What wrong?" I asked her. I felt the embarrassment from her before the blush even crept into her cheeks.

_Why I've felt so alone, why I kept myself from love  
And you became my favourite drug  
So let me take you right now and swallow you down,  
I need you inside_

"Sorry, you um...dazzled me." She replied.

"Bella that only works when I look directly at you not out the window." I replied.

"No not that kind. I just thought you looked kinda beautiful when you sparkle." She corrected me. "I haven't seen anyone sparkle in a long time." I felt her sadness. "I missed you all you know..." I didn't know what to say or do so I sent her a little wave of happiness and watched the grin spread of her face. She laughed out loud and then narrowed her eyes at me. "No fair! Right Mr now you've had it!" With that I watch her calm her face then felt a huge wave of amusement before the smile broke out on her face. I couldn't help it her happiness and amusement took over me and I started chuckling myself.

As soon as it started to wear off I sent her a wave of confusion. I saw her look side to side as if in thought before her eyes narrowed on me again. Then I saw her face straighten and her calm herself. She closed her eyes and I watched her intently before I felt tiredness creep at me.

_Do you think that this is right, or is it really wrong  
I know that this is what we've been wanting  
_

"This is war Bella." I murmured lazily, sending her a wave of nervousness. I stood and moved over to her making her get more nervous but by the time I stood behind her chair I was hit by a wave of lust so hard that it shuddered through me. I stood very still all of a sudden. Bella stood up and faced me. Her eyes met mine and I felt the tension go through the roof as she leaned forward until her face was millimetres from my own.

_And all this is burning in my soul, it fills up to my throat  
It fills up till my heart is breaking_

"I win." She breathed and then stepped backwards. I shook my head a few times to clear the emotions and try to get control back. I could still feel both nervousness and lust from Bella as well as embarrassment but I figured she was also trying to sort her head out and get control of herself.

"So, did you want to hang out today before I take you home...where is home by the way?" I asked her, trying to change the subject completely.

"Sure, I have no other plans." She replied. "And home is an apartment in town."

"That suits you actually." I said gesturing to my shirt that nearly reached the bottom of her short skirt. I felt a kind of possessive thrill that it was my shirt she was wearing, which was disturbing and ridiculous but I decided that it was the animal in me.

"Um thanks...I'm no cowgirl but I like it." She said shyly. She started to look uncomfortable, I realised it was probably because we were just standing in the kitchen making awkward conversation.

"So what did you want to do today ma'am?" I asked, placing my hand on her back to lead her into the living room.

_Now, we can both learn  
Somehow, you'll see it's all we have  
Love, it keeps us together  
and I need love_

"Well...I don't think going outside is exactly an option just yet, unless you want any neighbours to see you shooting rainbows." She smiled.

"I don't really have any close neighbours but I get your point. How about we wait another hour or so for the sun to start going down and then I take you out for dinner?" I offered.

"Well I don't think I'd feel comfortable going out to eat having you watch." She replied, dropping backwards so that she was laid across the couch. I couldn't help my gaze sliding along her long pale legs hung over the arm of the couch in front of me.

"I could physically eat if it made you feel better...or we could just head into town and see where we end up? I've heard human girls like to shop almost as much as Alice does." I suggested.

"Well, most human girls you'd be right...just not this one. I'm useless at shopping." She grinned leaning up on her elbows to look at me.

"Then allow me to be useless with you ma'am." I replied. I sat on the chair so as not to make Bella uncomfortable with my constant standing. This girl was positively infectious. I'd never spent much time with her before, and never more than a few moments alone with her. Still, I saw now why she brightened the whole family...she had certainly brightened my day. She just had so much love around her...is this why Carlisle wanted us to be able to live among humans? Or was it just Bella?

"How long have you been living here?" Bella asked, interrupting my thoughts.

"Not long." I replied.

"How long are you going to stay?" she asked.

"Not sure yet." I replied casually.

"I just wondered if you wanted to hang out sometimes...if you're around you know?"

Bella POV

A few moments passed and he didn't answer me. I raised an eyebrow at him curiously; he was just staring into space. What was he thinking about so hard?

"Sorry, of course Bella, it'd be my pleasure." He replied at last.

I relaxed back into the sofa and just lay in silence for a moment, I must have fallen asleep because when I opened my eyes the sun was lower in the sky and Jasper was stood in the window. I took a deep breath as I looked at him. It was wrong but I couldn't help myself, he was perfect. His long blonde waves framed his ruggedly handsome face; his body lean but sculpted and muscled.

I felt a little uncomfortable that my thoughts were heading to towards a very dangerous place, and judging by the fact Jasper was now looking at me he knew I was embarrassed about something.

"Sorry I guess I fell asleep." I said awkwardly.

"No worries, we can probably go out now." He said.

"You mean now you won't start dazzling all the poor humans?" I asked, sitting up.

"I try not to do that too often." He smirked. "Not that it seems to work on you, you saw straight through the vamp from the club."

"I guess once you've seen vampires you can't unsee them." I shrugged, standing and following him to my truck. Unsurprisingly he got in the driver's side, typical vampire. "But sometimes you guys do still dazzle me. Maybe I was just put off by the red eyes."

"That'd do it." He agreed, pulling down the driveway onto the road.

_When I wake up without you, knowing you're not there  
I'm only feeling half as good  
NOW I'm gonna find a way  
To wrap you in my arms, you make me feel alive_

Author's notes: short I know but once I get in from work and finish doing my "motherly duties" I don't have much time in the evening left. So I figure better short than none. Next chapter will be up in the next few days. The lyrics were from The Callings' Unstoppable. I wanted to get across the feelings that Jasper was having without being obvious. Even though he doesn't love Bella like that something about her has just brought him back to life...probably the emotional sparring.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Notes: Well I'm back and updating again. Hope you're enjoying so far.

Special thanks to my beta JenJenSon for doing this story for me!

Disclaimer: I don't own it, don't sue

Scars

Chapter 3

Bella POV

Most of the journey to town was spent in silence, but it didn't take long and we didn't need to talk. I knew Jasper tended to be a quiet person anyway.

Once in town we walked through the streets looking at the shop windows pointing at things that we liked. I pointed to a Stetson in one window and laughed.

"I can actually picture you in that you know..." I grinned at him.

"Good, now I feel less embarrassed about the one in my closet." He joked.

"There wasn't one in your closet...if there was I'd have probably tried it on." I replied. "It'd complete my outfit."

"Speaking of outfit...we could do with getting you something to wear..." he said, glancing to the clothes store on the opposite side of the road.

"Well...I could just get changed at mine...we're only about a ten minute walk away." I replied, uncomfortable with the idea of Jasper buying me clothes.

"Lead the way ma'am." He gestured for me to show him the way.

Jasper POV

Bella's apartment was...more like a room actually. There was a separate bathroom and then one room for her bed and kitchen. I waited silently while she grabbed some clothes and disappeared into the bathroom. I looked around at the small room again, it was a shame to see Bella living like this but she seemed happy enough.

Bella re-emerged in her jeans and a jumper and we headed back out of the small apartment and down to the street again. We began our walking and window-shopping again. Bella also seemed to be fond of one of my favourite things, people watching. It was incredibly entertaining to watch the way people walked around the town; the guys that thought they were cool walking in a way they thought was strong and manly, the mothers trying to keep children in check, couples all over each other and the couples that weren't but were so obviously in love. I watched Bella out of the corner of my eye watching a couple skating on the temporary ice-rink, what was this...jealousy?

"Come on." I said, taking her hand.

"What? No!" she protested as I tugged her towards the rink. "Ice is very very bad for the uncoordinated!"

"But you're with someone who is very coordinated." I told her simply.

After some persuasion Bella and I both had skates on and made our way onto the ice. I grinned at Bella clinging to the barrier and couldn't help but laugh as her eyes narrowed at me.

"This is hardly fair." She mumbled.

"It's easy once you get used to it." I said, gliding over to her. "Let go of the barrier."

"I can barely stand up so I hardly think letting go of the barrier is a good idea." She said her eyes rolling at me. I pulled her hands for the barrier.

"You won't fall over, promise." I told her, as I started skating backwards and tugging her along. It was funny to watch her glide along behind me. She didn't dare move her legs or move at all actually. She just stood and let me pull her along for a good few minutes before her fear ebbed away and I saw her muscles untense. Finally she started to move her legs and glide along the ice with me. When she finally looked up from her feet I felt like the most important person in the world. Her face was graced by the brightest smile I'd seen on her since before our family left Forks and not one of them had ever been aimed at me. "See easy."

"Just don't let go." She said uneasily. I let go of one hand and turned to skate by her side. I had meant to take her hand but of course Bella panicked and now clung to my arm with both of hers in case I dared leave her. A few moments later I managed to pry her arms off of me without hurting her and take her hand and we were both able to skate around the rink fairly easily.

"You think you can do it now?" I asked her. She bit her lips and I felt her nerves but she nodded anyway and I let her go. Instead of getting scared, wobbling or falling over she sped up and actually looked like she was thoroughly enjoying herself.

_You are the strength, that keeps me walking.  
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.  
You are the light to my soul.  
You are my purpose...you're everything.  
_

"I actually don't feel clumsy for once." She grinned as I passed her and turned to skate backwards in front of her. "Thank you."

"My pleasure darlin'." I replied.

"How do you do that?" she asked. "Goes backwards I mean."

"Easy, you just walk backwards and it kind of turns into a glide." I replied.

"Where did you learn to skate?" she asked.

"Alice." I shrugged.

"Would you teach me? It might be the only chance I get in my lifetime to feel graceful." She said.

"I would happily teach you, Bella." I replied. "But you'll need more than one night on a temporary rink. You need to build up confidence."

"Oh." She replied, I sensed her disappointment and tugged her around by her arm so that she was gliding backwards and squealing about it.

"I will be happy to teach you as long as we are both in town, will that do ma'am?" I asked. She had stopped squeaking in fear now and nodded.

"Can I turn back around now?" she asked in a small voice. I laughed and turned her back around to skate forwards again. I noticed her glancing at the couple skating again and then embarrassment. I watched her not sure what she was embarrassed about, the fact that she knew I knew she was watching them and that's why I got her on the rink or that it was me she was skating with.

"So what are you doing here anyway?" I asked, trying to distract her.

"I just had to leave home and this was where I ended up." She shrugged.

"Your dad didn't kick you out?" I asked in surprise. Then the pain hit me again; it was so bad I nearly stumbled over. Then Bella did fall over. I helped her up and manoeuvred us to the exit. I looked at Bella but she wasn't crying, it was worse she was just kind of staring past me as if I wasn't there. I tried to concentrate on feeling happy but there was no need Bella had already reined in her emotions as if they were nothing.

"Sorry about that." She mumbled, knowing I felt it too. "No he didn't. I'd just rather not talk about it."

"Sure." I said, pulling my skates off and gesturing for her to do the same. "Come on lets go get you some human food."

Bella POV

I was grateful that there were no more questions about Charlie or Forks. It wasn't something I even wanted to think about and I'd had quite enough of crying at Jasper already. But he didn't ask anymore on the subject, just moved on and almost pretended that it never happened. I guess having someone know exactly how you feel could be exactly what you need sometimes...

We went to a small restaurant where I sat and picked at a bowl of fries, while Jasper watched.

"You look uncomfortable." He said.

"It doesn't matter how many times I do it, it's still strange eating with a vampire." I smiled.

"Well I think if I had a mountain lion on the table I'd cause a scene." He smirked.

"So what you said about human pets..." I started, not really sure whether I wanted an answer.

"No I don't feed off of humans." He said quickly. "Some of the people I was staying with recently did, the willing ones of course but since I've been much better with my thirst recently it would be a waste to start drinking human blood again now."

"But you told that other vampire that's what I was...is that what he would have done?" I asked.

"I doubt that was his plan." He replied, then he leant across the table closer to me, lowering his voice. "Let's face it darlin', you were dress like vampire bait." I felt my stomach do a somersault as his eyes met mine and the worst part was that I knew I couldn't hide it either. He didn't mention it though and his gaze never faltered.

"What does that mean exactly? Since obviously I don't want to end up being some other vampires next meal and didn't actually know there was such a thing as vampire bait." I asked.

"Well besides smelling particularly appetising, wearing anything red automatically makes a vampire think of blood and of course having lots of skin on show just gives us plenty of ideas of where to bite, which veins, arteries...you managed all three in one night." He replied.

For some reason him talking in that southern accent, low and quiet affected me in ways it really shouldn't...especially considering the topic but that had my butterflies going even more. I was desperately trying to get control of myself to stop him knowing what I was feeling if he hadn't already.

Jasper POV

Bella was nervous now and I could hear her heart beating like crazy...her blood rushing through her veins. I realised that talking about her like she was food had probably scared her.

"Good thing I won't let any bad guy get ya then huh?" I joked, trying to lighten the mood and make her more comfortable. Then I felt something strange, something I shouldn't be feeling. I looked at Bella again and for a moment I wondered whether I was projecting on her, but then she smiled and I relaxed. I shouldn't be feeling lust for Bella, it was wrong in so many ways...maybe it was all that talk about vampire bait...I should definitely hunt soon, just to be safe.

"So when you're not rescuing damsels in distress what do you do with all your time?" she asked me.

"Very little." I replied.

"Well I'm sorry I'm interrupting those busy plans." She smiled.

"Even my kind gets lonely sometimes." I said. "If you would like, we can meet up another time this week? I can get you back on the ice."

"I'd like that." She replied, and I knew I'd never get tired of seeing that smile.

Author's Notes: Hope you like, sorry for the delay. I'm also considering getting a beta if anyone is interested...not that I really know what one is or what exactly they do. I'm also looking for fics to read that are Bella/Emmett and Bella/Carlisle if anyone knows of any either mention in review or message me. I would love to read and review some new stories. Again the lyrics in the chapter are from Everything by Lifehouse.

Astarte_lydainna x


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Notes: Well I'm back and updating again. Hope you're enjoying so far.

Everyone give a special cheer for my beta for this story JenJenSon!

Disclaimer: I don't own it, don't sue

Scars

Chapter 4

Bella POV

Jasper escorted me back to my truck and then we went our separate ways after I'd eaten. I went back to my apartment and showered before getting ready for bed. I spotted the shirt I'd taken off earlier on the bathroom floor and picked it up. I don't know why I did it but I put it on and headed to bed. For some reason I knew that something reminding me of them, of _him_ would make me feel safer and it did. For the first time I fell asleep almost as soon as I got into bed and when the nightmares came I wasn't alone. They were there protecting me.

If only they really had been there... But then the rest of my dreams were peaceful.

I got up in the morning to my alarm and was tempted to ignore it and return to my nice dreams but I knew I had to get to work.

I got up and ready before leaving the apartment for another enjoyable day of work.

I actually had a couple of jobs to make ends meet on my tiny apartment. I worked as a cleaner for a hotel four days a week and worked four nights a week in a club behind the bar. Unfortunately it meant that on a Wednesday and Thursday I worked a whole day cleaning and then the evening behind the bar.

I finished work around four and got home about half an hour later with a grumbling stomach. I changed out of my uniform and pulled on a pair of shorts and Jasper's shirt. I really would have to wash and return it so I may as well wear it now right? Then I headed to the kitchen...well the kitchen half of the room anyway.

I put some toast in and then started making some eggs. Nice and easy and would quieten my complaining stomach.

Jasper POV

It was a few days before I decided to knock on Bella's door. I was ashamed to say I had watched her a few times over the past few days but it wasn't like I had much else to do and it wasn't like I actually snuck into her apartment. I just stopped by on my way out to hunt to look through her window and see what she was up to.

I got that same possessive satisfaction knowing that she was still using my shirt, as her lounge around shirt. I didn't like her living in that apartment though. It was tiny and her neighbours didn't seem like the nicest bunch of people either...surely for a danger magnet like Bella this was not a safe place to live...

Although the way my feelings towards Bella were headed weren't exactly brotherly even if they were only the brotherly type I shouldn't let her stay here. She was better than this. So finally on Saturday morning I knocked on the door.

"Just a second!" I heard her call, then the door flung open and there she was with a handful of cash in her hand. "Oh...Jasper." she gasped in surprise. "Sorry, I thought you were the landlord, he's the only one that ever really knocks on the door."

"Sorry I surprised you." I replied, as she gestured for me to come in.

"So um...what brings you...um here?" she said gesturing to her home.

"You actually." I told her. "I wanted some company and thought I could get you back on the ice."

"Of course, I'd love to...but it's raining out." She replied.

"We'll go find a rink indoors somewhere." I shrugged, then I winced. "Let's just not take your truck though."

"Don't pick on my truck." She laughed.

"We can go in my truck." I decided firmly. "You ready to go?"

"Well...I could use a jumper..." she mumbled before she started rummaging through a pile of clothes sat on a chair. I frowned at her and she raised her eyebrow at me.

"What are you doing here Bella?" I asked her. She started to answer but I cut her off. "I mean what are you doing with your life, in this town, in this apartment? You are so much better than this..."

"Jasper it's not that bad...I'm doing what everyone else does. I've got a job and a home and that is my life." She replied with a small smile. "That's what us humans do."

"Didn't you want anything else? A future? A family?" I asked. I felt the anger before her mouth opened.

"Of course I did!" she yelled, pushing me although I obviously didn't move. "I wanted a future with _your_ family! But you all disappeared! Not one of you even said goodbye! Just because he didn't want me anymore didn't mean I didn't care about any of the rest of you!" She started hitting at my chest although I barely felt it.

"I'm sorry." I told her quietly. And I meant it. I didn't mean I was sorry for trying to attack her...although obviously I was sorry about that too, I meant I was sorry for not thinking of her feelings about us all leaving. Sorry that not one of us even stopped before leaving to say goodbye to her and that we'd miss her. We had welcomed her into our family and then dumped her like she was nothing...like she really was nothing more than a human pet. I caught her hands to stop her from hitting me since she could only end up hurting herself. "I promise you Bella that if I decide to leave this town I will let you know. I will say goodbye, I owe you that."

"You don't owe me anything." She said coldly. I didn't say anything but instead waited for her to calm down. "Sorry." She mumbled after a moment.

"Have you thought about going to University Bella? Even on a part time course?" I asked her.

"That takes time and money Jasper and I need my time to work and my money for rent." She replied.

"I'll make you a deal." I told her as an idea struck me. "If you go to university you can live with me and if and when I decide to leave town the house is yours."

"Jasper I can't-" she started.

"Bella one small house is nothing to me...unless you're worried about sharing a house with a vampire." I told her. I raised an eyebrow. "Don't you trust me?"

Bella POV

My insides did a flip at his question. Did I trust him? Yes. Did I trust myself to be around him? Not one bit.

"Of course...but it's not that simple." I replied.

"Ah but darlin' it is that simple." He told me. "There are always spaces for late applicants Bella and you're smart you could get in I'm sure."

"And the tuition fees? It'd take me a couple of months to save up for it." I asked.

"Easy, I pay it and if you're that worried about it you can just pay me back." He grinned.

"You're impossible." I rolled my eyes, although the thought of going to university and getting a decent job was appealing.

"I just know you can do better is all." He shrugged. "If it makes you uncomfortable I'll stop but I hope you'll consider it."

"I'll apply." I said. "But I'm not holding my breath I'll get in and no bribing anyone either. I know what you Cullen's are like with money."

"So shall we head off?" he asked. It took my mind a moment to catch up. Yes, we were going skating I forgot. I nodded and we headed away from the apartment block and down the street. Jasper stopped at his truck, which needless to say was considerably nicer than mine. I climbed in and laughed as he started the engine and country music blared out from the stereo. Jasper headed all the way to the other side of town to the leisure complex.

I couldn't help but stare at Jasper as he sang along to the stereo.

"What?" he grinned, between lyrics. I spotted the hat on the seat next to me and picked it up. I smiled and placed it on his head.

"Carry on." I smiled. We both laughed and before I knew it we were pulling into the car park.

"I think I'll leave this here." He said, removing his hat and stepping out of the truck. "Come on beautiful get that butt out of the truck and onto the ice." I blushed and jumped out of the truck and jogged to catch up with him.

"For someone who has forever you sure like to hurry." I teased.

Once inside I was nervous about getting on the ice again, it was busier here being daytime and on the weekend. A lot more people to avoid...

None the less I slowly stepped onto the ice and after a few moments of holding the barrier to gather my bearings I was able to start skating alongside Jasper without too much trouble.

"So what would you like to learn ma'am?" Jasper drawled, turning easily on the ice to look back at me.

"Everything." I grinned.

"Well shall we start off easy?" he asked. I nodded and took his offered hand. I could never imagine having this much fun...on ice.

Jasper POV

Two hours later Bella's feet were hurting enough that she couldn't hide it from me so we got off the ice. We sat down on a bench to take off our skates.

"You're really good Jasper." She told me, leaning back into the bench obviously a little tired from our efforts.

"Alice and I used to compete, but that was some years ago now." I replied.

"Wow, that's pretty impressive." She said, placing her skates on the bench next to her. "Why did you stop?"

"Unfair advantage." I replied.

"Ah, of course." She smiled. "Do you miss her?"

"Of course, I miss all of them." I said, not looking at her.

"Sorry." She murmured.

"Bella do you still miss us?" I asked her. Maybe my family may not be as broken as I thought...

"Of course I do, always." She replied quietly.

"Even Edward?" I asked. She nodded. "Even me?"

"Jasper I don't need to miss you you're right here!" she grinned.

"Just checking." I smiled. "And you still care about the whole family?"

"Of course. I may not be with Edward anymore and in the long run I realised that we weren't a great match to start with but I still care about him and all of you. Alice was like the sister I never had...and Esme and Carlisle took me in like I really was one of their own...Emmett never failed to make me smile...and Rosalie, okay maybe she didn't like me so much but no family's perfect..." she said softly.

"And me?" I couldn't help but ask. She looked up at me in surprise but she must have been able to see or feel my uncertainty because she shuffled closer to me and leant against my shoulder with a smile on her face.

"We weren't close either, but you always knew what to do or say when I did need it." She said fondly. "Now we can be friends."

"And you never know, I may hear from one of the others soon and we could try and get Alice to come visit you. She'd like that." I told her honestly.

"Won't that be weird for you?" she asked me. I couldn't look away from those big brown eyes staring so innocently up at me.

"No." I replied. "Not if it makes you happy." I felt the attraction flare but I wasn't sure if it was mine, hers or both.

_How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?  
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?_

After a few moments of tense silence we got up to take ours skates back and headed back to my truck. Whatever it was I was feeling for Bella...it was definitely not of brotherly intent...and if I let my animal side loose it definitely wouldn't honourable either. I smirked to myself, if only Edward were here to read all my minds inappropriate thoughts...that'd serve him right.

Author's Notes: Been trying really hard to fit in writing time this weekend so enjoy xx Also once again the lyrics are from that same song Everything by Lifehouse

If you have any good Bella/Carlisle stories I'm really into them at the moment so please recommend any you find. Thanks x


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Notes: Read the notes at the bottom x

Everyone give a special cheer for my beta for this story JenJenSon!

Disclaimer: I don't own it, don't sue

Scars

Chapter 5

Bella POV

_I Woke up this morning  
With this feeling inside me that I can't explain  
like a weight that I've carried  
Been carried away, away  
_

Three weeks had passed since Jasper had convinced me to apply for University and we had seen each other quite a few times in the past three weeks too. Now I held my acceptance letter in my hand and grinned. I was only going to be a part-time student because there weren't many full time positions left but thanks to my good grades in sciences at school I was starting as a Chemistry and Biology student next month.

Now I couldn't wait to tell Jasper.

I glanced around my small apartment...it would probably be strange living with Jasper especially with my growing attraction to him that no doubt he could feel but thankfully hadn't teased me about, but it would be nice to have company and doubly nice to have more than one room.

The door knocked and I leapt up to answer it knowing it was Jasper. I saw his grin as soon as he opened the door as he handed me a gift-wrapped box.

"What's this?" I asked awkwardly, as he stepped in the door.

"A congratulations present." He smirked.

"I just got the letter today how did you even know?" I asked. "You didn't bribe someone did you?"

"Just open it." He replied. I lifted the lid off of the box and inside I found three text books for my course. I smiled and looked up at him shyly. I always felt so on the spot when I got presents but I appreciated it none the less.

"How did you-"

"Alice." He smiled, putting his arm around me. "You're happy." I looked at up his grin and couldn't help laughing as I leant in to hug him.

"So she rang and told you to buy me books?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"Actually she rang and told me that I'd better keep my end of the deal up because you got in and she saw everything working out for you if you went to Uni and that you deserve some happiness." He replied. "I thought of the present all by myself, if Alice had her way it would have been clothes but she knows I don't really like shopping."

"I can just picture you buying women's clothes..." I teased. "Thanks Jasper, but I don't have to move into your house if it bothers you."

"You're moving." He said firmly.

"I just don't want you to feel obligated." I said defensively, but then a grin sneaked onto my face. "But I'm really excited about not having to live in a box."

"That reminds me." He said, reaching into his pocket. I watched as he pulled out a silver key with a ribbon attached instead of a keyring and held it in front of me.

Jasper POV

I could feel her happiness practically bouncing off of her and I loved the warm feelings that she projected when she opened her present.

"See happy Bella." I smirked.

"Well I have lots of be happy about." She replied, I heard her stomach protest at our delay and she laughed. "I guess we'd better go find somewhere for the human to eat."

"Certainly Ma'am." I replied, offering my arm as we left her apartment.

_But I know something is coming  
I don't know what it is  
But I know it's amazing, you save me  
My time is coming  
And I'll find my way out of this longest drought..._

We walked through the town, Bella with a hot dog in one hand talking about all her plans for her future and her courses. It was then I realised that I wanted to see that future happen. Over the past month Bella had become the highlight of my days. It was like having a piece of my family back, just having someone around...and being an empath I actually liked being around people, even when sometimes I did think they smelled like dinner. I gravitated to happy, loving emotions and it had been wonderful to feel Bella's emotions become more and more positive the more time we spent together.

The only thing that still bothered me now was...what happened when we left Forks? What happened that broke Bella so badly that the pain still felt fresh whenever a topic got too close? Hopefully I would get a chance to bring it up over the weekend when she moves in.

_You treat life like a picture  
But it's not a moment thats frozen in time  
It's not gonna wait  
Til you make up your mind, at all  
_

I glanced down at Bella, she was hugging my arm with her free arm leaning close to me ever so casually as we walked. She was so comfortable around me...even after the incident on her birthday. It became easier not to blame myself for everything with Bella around, I could feel her emotions and I never felt fear, I knew she had forgiven me and gradually it had started to ease my guilt away.

Now if only I could be so comfortable around her. For the first couple of days after a good hunt I could be around her with very few problems but after that it became harder and harder to be close to her. After a couple of days I would avoid touching her or getting this close to prevent myself feeling the burn in my throat. It was still there and I doubted it would go away for some time but for the most part I didn't have a problem controlling my thirst around her. Now if only I could control my hormones I'd be fine.

Bella POV

_So while this storm is breaking  
While there's light at the end of the tunnel  
Keep running towards it  
Releasing the pressure, that's my heartache  
Soon this dam will break _

Today was a good day, getting accepted to University, getting presents, Jasper's company, a nice walk and a hot dog in one day. I was a lucky human. Jasper told me that Alice was planning to visit in the near future once I was settled with my courses so it was definitely something to look forward to. I also had moving to look forward to this weekend. I guess I'm lucky I don't have loads of stuff.

I threw my rubbish in the trash can as we walked past it and looked at the lights in the trees at the park.

"Want to go for a walk?" Jasper asked.

"We are walking." I replied, snuggling my way under his arm as we headed to the park. "It's so pretty here come winter time. Do you think we'll get snow soon?"

"Another couple of weeks at least." He replied.

_And it feels like today I know,  
it feels like today, I'm sure  
It's the one thing that's missin'  
The one thing you're wishin'  
Life's sacred blessin' and then,  
It feels like today  
_

"So in your many years at University have you ever done any of the sciences?" I asked.

"I did chemistry and physics once." He replied. "Surely you're not trying to cheat already?"

"Just thinking that if I'm living with you, you could help is all." I laughed.

"And when you move all your stuff in I might get my shirt back." He smirked, causing a blush to spread from my cheeks to my entire face and neck and he knew it.

"I forgot about that." I said quickly.

"No you didn't." He replied. "If you had forgotten about it you wouldn't have worn it to bed two nights ago." I knew he wouldn't feel it but I couldn't stop myself whacking his arm.

"Why were you spying?" I asked.

"I wasn't really spying, just whenever I'm on my way past to or from a hunt I stop by for a few minutes just to check on you, I know how much trouble you can get into." He explained. "How long are you going to be embarrassed for?"

"Forever." I muttered.

"Well that's no fun." He replied. "Happy Bella." Then against my will a smile crept its way onto my face.

"That's cheating." I said simply. I concentrated really hard so he would feel my anger. He sent back confusion and the war had begun yet again. It was childish and completely and utterly ridiculous but it was just so much fun!

Author's Notes: If you can recommend any non-canon Twilight fics please do because I love them. I am looking for a beta if anyone is interested and also working on a video to going along with this story if anyone is interested in seeing it I think I'll post the link on the next chapter. The song is rascall flats – feels like today.

As always if you like it please press that button and leave a little review xx


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Notes: Me again, trying to update as often as possible to keep you guys updated. Xx

Thanks to JenJenSon for being my beta on this story! What an angel!

Disclaimer: I don't own it, don't sue

Scars

Chapter 6

Bella POV

I took one last look at my empty apartment and closed the door with a happy sigh. I wouldn't miss it one bit. Truth be told it was a horrid apartment but I hadn't been able to afford anything better. I wouldn't have had to if I'd have stayed in Forks but I just couldn't do it.

I left my keys in the post box for my apartment downstairs where the landlord told me to leave them and headed out to my truck carrying my last box. To be honest there was only about four boxes. Two with clothes, one with books and one with pretty much everything else I owned. When you only have a tiny apartment you don't have room to have much stuff in the first place.

It was raining but even that couldn't dampen my mood on the drive to Jasper's...well my house. It was going to be weird thinking of it as my home because we hadn't spent much time there in the past month or so we'd been friends. It was just easier for him to come to me because he could run.

Jasper was most likely still out hunting because I was earlier than planned but packing hadn't taken as long as I had thought so I headed over anyway. I put the key in the door and carried in my first box. I placed it in the hallway and headed back out for the next. After I had all the boxes indoors I headed upstairs with the first one. Jasper had given me the bedroom and turned the second smaller bedroom into his own room...or more like a study really. It was just his own space.

I opened the door to my new room and set the box down on the bed. The room was tidy and had been rearranged since I that first night I saw Jasper. The furniture was the same except it had been moved around to make room for a desk. I walked over to the desk when I noticed the ribbon on it. On closer inspection the ribbon wasn't on the desk but attached to a laptop sat on it.

"Surprise." A voice from behind me called.

"Jasper you didn't have to do this. It's too much." I protested, spinning around to face him only to practically jump back as he appeared in front of me. "I don't think I'll ever get used to that."

"Sorry." He replied. Then he turned me back around to face the offending laptop. "It's just a present Bella, one that is practical and necessary and you like it." I sighed in defeat leaning back against his chest.

"OK but that is it. No more presents." I told him firmly.

"Not even dinner?" he asked. I turned all to face him again and pretended to think about it.

"Well...us humans do need food..." I said thoughtfully.

"Well then you head downstairs and check the pizza box on the kitchen table and I'll bring the rest of the your boxes up here for you." He said.

Jasper POV

After placing the boxes in Bella's room I joined her in the kitchen. She was happy tucking into a slice of pizza while looking out of the window.

"Good?" I asked her.

"Yes, thank you." She said, turning to smile at me. "But I don't think you needed to get a large one I've only eaten two slices."

"Sorry." I told her. "Better too much than not enough though I guess."

"That's ok I can have a few more slices later...or for breakfast." She shrugged. I personally thought the prospect was disgusting but I didn't tell her so.

"Do you need any help unpacking or anything? Is there anything you need?" I asked. I wanted nothing more than for her to be happy living here. She just smiled and shook her head and poured herself a glass of water.

"Jasper relax in your own home and I guess I'll try to get used to doing the same." She said softly. "I don't want you to feel like you have to do things for me or check I'm ok. You've done enough."

"Alright. I'm going to my study for now then and just let me know when you're off to bed or if you do need anything." I told her.

Maybe she didn't feel quite so comfortable around me as I first thought...but she seemed happy maybe I was over reacting, she probably just wanted a few moments to let it sink in.

Bella POV

My clothes were put away and books on the desk and on the shelves above it. I put a picture of me and my mom on the desk and then lifted my photo album out of the box, I didn't dare open it, Instead I slid it under my bed.

I quickly unpacked the rest of the box before I picked the last thing out of it.

I looked at it; in fact I couldn't look away I just sat there looking at it. I hadn't even realised that this was in the box... I hadn't looked at it since I left Forks either.

_She never slows down.  
She doesn't know why but she knows that when she's all alone, feels like its all coming down  
She won't turn around  
The shadows are long and she fears if she cries that first tear, the tears will not stop raining down  
_

Jasper POV

I was in Bella's room the instant I felt the huge wave of grief hit me. I found her sat on the floor with her arms huddled to her chest.

"Bella?" I asked, more to let her know I was in the room than anything. She didn't move, her eyes just looked up towards me as I moved to sit next to her on the bedroom floor. I was tempted to calm her but I knew in the long run it probably wouldn't help. Maybe this was it, the moment she would finally have to remember whatever it is she's been trying to forget. Sure enough as I put my arm around her and pulled her against my side I spotted something in her hand...a small brown leather web hid in her grasp, she held onto it as if it were her life force.

_She won't make a sound  
Alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering if she stands she'll fall down  
She wants to be found  
The only way out is through everything she's running from wants to give up and lie down._

I just sat with her in silence for a good few minutes. She was the first one to break the silence. She practically flung herself into my chest and wrapped her arms around my waist as tight as her fragile human arms could and started sobbing.

"Darlin', what am I going to do with you?" I murmured into her hair. I had to stop myself getting carried away taking in her scent, I didn't want to risk scaring her by wanting her blood right now.

She started trying to say something but to start with I couldn't make any sense of it through her tears but then she said something I did understand. Something that made even my cold blood, practically freeze in my veins; 'Oh god Charlie!'.

_So stand in the rain  
Stand your ground  
Stand up when it's all crashing down  
You stand through the pain  
You won't drown  
And one day, whats lost can be found  
You stand in the rain_

"Ssshh Bella..." I soothed, trying to get her to look up at me, but finding her under her mass of dark curls proved no easy task with her tears sticking them to her face. When I finally got a look of those brown eyes I understood everything. She looked so haunted, so guilty. I knew that look. Something awful happened after we left Forks and Bella clearly blamed herself for it. "Bella...what happened after we left Forks?"

For a moment she didn't reply, I reached my hand out to stroke the rest of her hair out of the way. She looked like she was deciding, and her pain was killing me. I wasn't sure how much more I could take before I would have to calm her or end up crying myself.

"They came back...V-Victoria and-" she whispered.

"To Forks? Bella what happened?" I asked, I could hear my impatience and desperation creeping into my own voice. I had to get control; getting upset would only make her feel worse...

"She wanted me..." she breathed. "I was at La Push with Jake and when she sent Laurent to my house looking for me...he found Charlie..." I hear her voice crack and it confirmed what I already suspected a few moments ago. Bella's father was dead.

"What happened to Victoria and Laurent? Are they still after you?" I asked her, sending over a few small waves of calm. She shook her head.

"No, the wolves killed them...but some of them got hurt...some pretty bad..." she sobbed. My eyes flicked to the dreamcatcher on the floor as I remembered that Bella had a close friend at La Push. Carlisle had told us all the stories of the wolves and the treaty but he had assumed that the gene had died out...we didn't imagine that they would still be around.

Bella had practically climbed into my lap by now and I could feel her warm tears had soaked through my shirt. I lowered my head to her shoulder to speak in her ear.

_You calm the storms, and you give me rest.  
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.  
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.  
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?  
_

"It'll keep now." I told her. "I'm not going anywhere." I was grateful for her for finally opening up to me but I doubted it actually had anything to do with her trusting me more now than she did last week or the week before...it was just one memory she could no longer ignore and I happened to be here.

Now I knew why us leaving hurt so much. We left her without even thinking about Victoria. We had killed her mate and not even thought about what she would do in return. We left Bella unprotected and not only that but Alice hadn't seen a thing. Bella probably thought that maybe Alice had seen but not cared enough to do anything about it. Now I knew why Bella had wanted to leave Forks...ever her happy memories could only provoke the sad ones and who could ask her to live in a house her father had died in. I didn't even want to know whether it was Bella who had found him or not. I just hoped to god not.

It was a good while later that Bella's breathing returned to normal and her body started to relax in my arms.

"Thanks Jasper..." she whispered, sleepily.

"I think it's bedtime for the human." I murmured.

I helped her to her feet and left her to get ready for bed but only moments later I heard her call me.

I found her in bed already and she greeted me with a small smile.

"Something wrong darlin'?" I asked.

"I just wanted to say night." She sighed, snuggling into the duvet. "And thanks for earlier...it must have been hard for you too..." This girl still amazed me. She tells me that because she was involved with my family; James, Laurent and Victoria had tried to kill her...and myself as ashamed as I am about it. Her father was killed and her friends hurt...and yet she was worried about me feeling her pain.

I knelt down next to the bed so I was level with her face.

"I'm not going anywhere." I told her. "Goodnight Bella."

Author's Notes: Hope you like it. I hope I'm not revealing too much too soon and that it didn't come out as a load of unbelievable soppy crap. And once again I managed to sneak in a few lyrics from Everything by Lifehouse. I just think the song fits the story. Also there's lyrics from Stand in the Rain by Superchick. If you're enjoying this story I have another Bella/Jasper up called Hideaway and also a Bella/Carlisle called Shards of a Fairytale so check them out.

As always I love reviews so if you like it please review it xx


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Notes: Me again, trying to update as often as possible to keep you guys updated. xx

Thanks to JenJenSon for being my beta on this story! What an angel!

Disclaimer: I don't own it, don't sue

Scars

Chapter 7

Jasper POV

Bella slept until late morning, I knew she didn't sleep well though. Every couple of hours I would hear her tossing and turning in her sleep, sometimes crying or moaning aloud. I calmed her a few times but I slipped out to hunt again just in case after being so close to her last night.

When I returned I threw my shirt in the bin and threw my jeans by the washing machine and went upstairs to wash off the dirt and blood before Bella got up. The bear had actually put up a fight and I didn't really want to scare Bella as soon as she woke up.

Finding myself a clean pair of jeans in my cupboard I inspected my new room. It was smaller but I didn't need a bed so that didn't really bother me. I had a wardrobe, desk and plenty of shelves for my books.

I heard Bella get up and then heard the shower start. I tried not to think about the images that sprung to mind and grabbed a t-shirt before heading downstairs. Bella froze on the landing when she spotted me.

"Mornin'." I called to her. "Did you want breakfast?" For a moment she didn't say anything but I saw her face change colour and felt her embarrassment. I couldn't help but chuckle as I pulled my shirt on over my head. "Sorry."

"No, you just surprised me." She said quickly, clutching her folded towel and clothes in her arms. I grinned and walked over to her.

"You didn't answer my question darlin'." I told her. "Do you want something for breakfast?"

"Um...no I'm fine." She replied. "I'll go get some food shopping later."

I nodded and headed downstairs so she could get back to her shower, all the while trying to erase the images of Bella in pyjama shorts from my mind. Without Bella here I used to just sit and read mostly sometimes play my guitar and other times just sit, but I didn't want her to think I did nothing all day... I wanted to spend my time with her but didn't know what to suggest we do together either.

Bella POV

My shower didn't help in my attempt to rid myself of the image of Jasper's naked chest. In fact...it was worse because Jasper's hair had been wet so he had obviously been in the shower just before I had.

It wasn't healthy to be this attracted to my ex's brother. It wasn't right. Even if I took Edward out of the equation Jasper was still off limits. Alice had been my best friend and you didn't date your best friends ex either.

I just had to tell myself that of course he was attractive, he was a vampire and they are all attractive. He was just being nice, like family or a friend. He had to know I had a thing for him and wasn't doing anything about it, which obviously meant he didn't think of me that way and was a nice enough guy to not mention it.

Once I had dried myself and pulled on my clothes I folded my towel and returned it to my bedroom before digging out my hair dryer. Once I had my hair under control I made my bed and headed downstairs. I suddenly had a craving for that leftover pizza after all.

I got my pizza and joined Jasper in front of the TV. I didn't even realise vampires really watched TV.

"Do vampires watch TV?" I asked.

"Sometimes." He replied. "I guess for us it's something we do instead of sleep sometimes. Just sit and watch without having to read or think. Although there's rarely anything worth watching."

"What are you watching anyway?" I asked, glancing to the cartoon on the screen.

"Tom and Jerry." He replied. I couldn't help but burst out laughing as soon as he said it.

"How old did you say you were?" I chuckled.

"Twenty." He smirked. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"And when did you turn twenty?" I asked.

"1863." He shrugged.

"Yeah there you go." I said pointedly, taking the remote from his hand. "I'm the human I get to watch TV."

"And what would you pick then?" he asked.

"I don't really pick...I just flick through the channels mostly." I explained. I finished my pizza and slouched back into the sofa. I glanced up at Jasper's amused face and found my gaze accidently lingering over the rest of him before I managed to look away.

His black t-shirt clung to him the way Jake's did, only obviously Jasper wasn't as big as Jake. My mind wandered as I indulged my naughty female self in comparing the bodies of the men in my life. Edward had been tall, as tall as Jake but with much leaner muscles. Jake was a huge mass of muscles which even I had to admit were pretty attractive to look at even though I didn't generally look at him that way. Jasper was a bit shorter than the two but almost exactly in between them build wise. I had to stop telling myself that it was just about perfect...this wasn't good for a person.

"What on earth are you thinking?" Jasper asked out of the blue. He obviously hadn't caught me looking at him and instead could probably feel how heated I was getting but I was staring at the TV without actually paying any attention. Well this is a tad embarrassing...Jasper's going to think that the Gilmore Girls is turning me on...

I opened my mouth to explain but nothing came out. I didn't have the slightest clue how to explain without making it worse.

"That good huh?" he grinned. "Well thanks for sharing but didn't you say something about needing food shopping?"

"Er...Yeah." I agreed dumbly. "Vampire's tend to have empty cupboards."

"Well if you want me to start hunting for you too I can but you'd have to skin 'em and cook 'em and well it could just get messy..." he mused.

"Yeah, shopping is fine." I agreed, getting up off the couch. "I'll just go grab a coat."

Jasper POV

I was glad for Bella leaving before I stood. Her emotions had had a rather undesired affect on me and it took a couple of deep breaths and metal slaps to sort myself out. God this girl threw any hope of control right out of the window. Edward should be glad he couldn't read her mind...although I was curious it was most likely a very bad idea to know what she had been thinking.

I had a feeling that no matter what I did I wouldn't be able to just be a friend to Bella. I just had to try my damn hardest to not get involved. It could only end badly...who knows what kind of control issues I'd have if I actually tried to kiss her alone...let alone...damn it stop thinking it!

Edward would kill me and the rest of the family would probably not be too thrilled either so the whole thing was a bad idea. Besides, Bella might not feel the same way anyway, I knew there was attraction there but that didn't really mean anything, you can feel attraction for a total stranger.

"Ready?" I asked, picking my own jacket up off of the hook. After all whether I felt the cold or not, I would raise a few eyebrows wandering in the cold in just a t-shirt.

"You don't have to come with me if you don't want to Jasper." She told me.

"Don't be silly darlin'." I replied, heading out of the front door. "Who else is going to carry all those heavy bags? Besides if you take that truck of yours you might not make it back today."

"Hey don't knock my truck!" she protested, but followed me to my truck none the less.

As soon as I pulled out of the driveway the rain started. I sighed, despite being a vampire I hated the rain. I wanted nothing more than to head somewhere sunny but that would make hiding somewhat difficult unless I brought an island like Carlisle had for Esme. Maybe he'd let me borrow it some when...maybe it was the cowboy in me but I missed the sun.

When I pulled into the car park Bella reached over and placed my hat on my head. I raised an eyebrow at her. She seemed determined to get me to wear the hat so I left it on and climbed out of the truck.

"Wouldn't want to get my hair wet now would I?" I joked, as we walked through the rain. We walked in the shop and Bella picked up a basket.

"Morning Mr. Whitlock." Mrs. Daniels called, as we walked past her. "What's the special occasion?"

"Empty cupboards." I replied, with a smile. I could feel Bella's confusion and introduced her. "Bella this is Fiona Daniels. She runs a bookstore in town. Fiona this is Bella Swan, she's come to stay with me at the house."

"Well it's about time a woman got to you young man, you sure need a bit of softening round the edges." She smiled, and then leant over to Bella. "He's got a heart of gold this one, but he's tends to be a little scruffy...guess that's the country boy in him."

"Oh I'm not-" Bella started.

"Sorry dears but I must dash. Mr Daniels is waiting in the car." She said, hurrying towards the door. "Come see the bookstore some when dear."

Bella looked at me curiously.

"Mr. Whitlock?" she asked.

"Major Jasper Whitlock at your service ma'am." I smirked, as we started browsing the aisles.

"Major? Like the army?" she asked, picking up a few items and placing them in the basket. I took the basket off of her so she could continue to pick up things.

"Youngest Major in the Texas cavalry." I told her proudly. "I'll tell you the story someday but I don't think the supermarket is the best place."

"I'll hold you to that." She said, taking my arm and leading me to the checkout. I went to hand over the cash but Bella got there first. "Stop trying to buy me things." She insisted.

"Just trying to help." I shrugged.

"Is that when you were changed?" Bella asked randomly, once we were back in the truck.

"When I was in the army, yeah." I replied, looking at her. "It's not a nice story Bella."

_You feel like a candle in a hurricane  
Just like a picture with a broken frame  
Alone and helpless  
Like you've lost your fight  
But you'll be alright, you'll be alright_

"I didn't think that it would be..." she said softly. The moment I looked at her face I knew I was going to tell her anyway even if we were sat in my truck in a car park. I turned the ignition on and turned on the heating. "Thanks..." She mumbled.

I pulled my jacket off, which made her nervous...what did she think I was going to do to her? I held my arm out for her to see.

"They're like mine..." she gasped.

"Battle scars." I told her. "While serving in the Confederate army I came across a small group of women. I was offering to help them but they didn't need any help. Maria... She was creating an army of her own and decided that I'd be useful to her."

"So she changed you?"

"I was her second in command." I nodded. "Unlike the others in my family, I didn't start this life with Carlisle's diet...I fed off of humans. I was in charge of training the newborns of Maria's army...and disposing of them when they were no longer useful." I felt Bella's shock, horror, sadness and pity as I told her. I didn't want her pity. "It was a long time ago Bella."

_Life's like a novel  
With the end ripped out  
The edge of a canyon  
With only one way down  
Take what you're given before its gone  
Start holding on, keep holding on  
_

"But it doesn't feel like it does it?" she asked me. She was right; I still felt the pain of everyone I killed like it was yesterday.

"When Alice found me she simply told me that there was a family waiting for us where there would be no pain. She told me she would love me and I would love her. So that's when I joined Carlisle and the others." I told her.

"And the scars are on both arms?" she asked. I lifted my shirt over my head so she could see the rest. "Oh my god..."

"They cover most of my top half and some on my legs too." I told her. "The venom is the only thing that scars us. Your scar for example was sucked clean of venom...if you're turned it will heal completely. But you will have a scar from wherever the venom entered your body."

She leant over to me and ran her fingers along a scar on my neck, I felt no pity now, no horror and no fear...just curiosity. I kept my eyes on her face, her damp hair and big brown eyes flicking from my skin to my face. I couldn't believe that such an innocent, loving human girl could stand to look at me, to touch me. From a distance you would never know the difference but this close...I was a scarred ruined mess.

I must have let my control slip because I let my shame project onto Bella, I knew from the look on her face. I saw her shake her head at me before she placed a small kiss on my cheek.

_Cause when push comes to shove  
You taste what you're made of  
You might bend till you break  
Cause it's all you can take  
On your knees you look up  
Decide you've had enough  
You get mad, you get strong  
Wipe your hands, shake it off  
Then you stand, then you stand  
_

"Jasper you're perfect. They're just part of what makes you you." She said calmly. "Anyone who is bothered by them obviously just isn't getting the real you."

I think that if I could cry I would have done, but from the manly perspective I was glad for the fact that I couldn't cry. I just pulled my shirt back over my head and then hugged Bella to me for a moment.

_Everytime you get up  
And get back in the race  
One more small piece of you  
Starts to fall into place_

"I think I steamed up your truck." She murmured.

"Well it wasn't me, I don't have warm breath." I chuckled. I wiped the windshield and gestured for her to do up her seatbelt then pulled out of the car park.

Author's Notes: Well, I hope you like it. I promise that the romance is getting closer I just thought it was only fair for Bella to get Jasper's story too. I hope you like it and thank you for all the reviews especially to those of you who come back for the updates. The song used is Stand – by Rascal Flatts. When I see the hits and reviews jump up it really does encourage me to hurry up with the next chapter so thanks for the support.


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Notes: Someone mentioned in a previous review about Bella not seeing his scars when his shirt was off before, but that was from a distance and they're not overly obvious for a distance...which is why I mentioned the bit about jasper thinking himself normal from a distance but horrible and scarred up close. Plus let's be honest she was probably a little distracted ;-)

A special thanks to my new beta Bripearl for her help also x

Disclaimer: I don't own it, don't sue

Scars

Chapter 8

Bella POV

It had been three weeks since I moved in with Jasper and started my course at the university. I had been able to quit both of my jobs and got another one. I was working two days a week at a cafe that was close to the campus. Jasper kept telling me not to worry but I was determined to pay him back, even if I ended up saving the whole time I was at university to give it to him.

Things had been wonderful. Monday, Tuesday and Thursday I would go to the university, and Wednesday and Friday I would work in the cafe. This meant that I could be home by about half past four to spend the evening with Jasper, and we had the weekends free to go out and do whatever we wanted...weather permitting of course.

As for me and Jasper...we were fine. I was trying to ignore my crush on him and we were just carrying on as normal. We'd spend our evenings reading or curled up on the sofa with a film, or sometimes he'd help me with my coursework and have music playing in the background.

"No human can do that...that's so stupid." Jasper muttered next to me as we watched a movie. I turned to him in horror.

"Jasper,_ please_ don't tell me you've been alive for over a hundred and sixty years and don't know that Superman isn't a human!" I exclaimed. "He's an alien!"

"Perhaps vampires have better things to do than humans do." He retorted. I tossed a piece of popcorn at him.

That one simple action hit me like an eighteen wheeler on the freeway. I froze just staring at the hand I'd just used to throw the offending piece of popcorn. I flirted with Jasper every day, and he flirted back...we were best friends and we lived together, we teased each other and spent nearly all our time together. We did food shopping together (even though he didn't eat), and I always had his clean clothes and towel in the bathroom ready for when he got back from hunting...

We were like a couple.

"Bella? Are you going to fill me in or just try to be a statue all night?" Jasper's voice drifted over to me and I slowly came back into focus.

Jasper POV

I saw Bella gradually come back to earth and look at me before a huge grin broke out on her face. I was hit with a huge wave of warm fuzzy feelings…from love and happiness to amusement. Her feelings affected me so much. I loved being close to her, to the point where I didn't need to hunt as much. It was getting easier and easier day by day.

My eyes met hers and I could even see her happiness in her eyes. I would do anything to have her this happy with me for the rest of my existence.

I couldn't resist reaching out and tapping the bowl of popcorn so that it flung out of her hand and went flying.

"Hey, I was eating that!" she laughed.

"No you were throwing it." I corrected her, leaning in close to her face. "Don't start a fight that you can't win." Straight away a blush graced her cheeks and I felt like I had won all over again. I felt the warm fuzzy feelings rising again but this time it wasn't from Bella. This time it was me. I had crossed that line I promised myself I wouldn't cross. I liked her and I was attracted to her, which was fine as long as I didn't fall in love with her or do anything about it...but I had fallen for her. It had snuck up on me while I was busy trying to make sure I hunted and didn't get thirsty around her. Well...if I'm going to break my own rules I may as well do a good job...

"Erm...now who's being a statue?" Bella asked nervously. I decided to send her a little present. She opened her mouth to say something else but no sound came out as I let her feel exactly how I felt about her. Her eyes closed involuntarily as she tried to figure out what was happening. It was just too perfect an opportunity to let pass. I reached my hand out to her chin and pulled her until her lips were against mine.

It was only a brief kiss, but it was enough to make me want more and cause Bella to look up at me with a startled expression on her face.

"What was that for?" she asked.

"I love you." I blurted out. I had thought of several different ways to tell her already and every single one of them sounded better than that, but now it was too late. I was relieved when I felt her happiness.

"Is that what that was?" she asked, referring to my earlier present. "I thought I was losing it..." She got up and moved to sit astride my lap, wrapping her arms around my neck. She didn't say anything for a while, she didn't have to. When she shyly kissed me I felt it. It was amazing to feel all that love I had for her twice over...I didn't remember it ever feeling like this. As she pulled away I pulled her back and kissed her harder. I knew my lust was slipping out of my control but I couldn't ignore it anymore, I just had to feel her lips against mine for a bit longer. I felt her lust building too and deepened the kiss. The moment I slid my tongue over hers, she moaned and I knew I had to stop. I pulled back slowly and pulled her face back so I could see her.

I felt rejection hit me instantly and embarrassment followed. I stroked her face and tilted her chin up to look at me.

"Do you still not believe me?" I chuckled. "Silly Bella." I pressed another brief kiss on her lips which brought a small smile from her.

"I just-" she started. "Thought...because you're...we can't-"

"We can't be together?" I said. "It's probably not the best idea I've ever had...between you being my brother's ex and my ex being your friend. Not to mention me being nearly a hundred and fifty years older than you...and then there's that bloodlust of mine as well...but it's too late I'm already in love with you darlin'."

"Um, well yes, all of those but...I meant that we can't be together...physically." she practically whispered.

"Believe me I want to." I grinned. "We'll just have to take things slow and cross that bridge when we come to it. I hope that my bloodlust won't be a problem in time."

"I trust you. It's just that..." she trailed off awkwardly. "Edward um...he said that it wasn't just the blood it was...um a strength issue in...uncontrollable moments."

"Don't worry about it for now darlin'." I told her. "Let's just take it one step at a time alright?" She nodded and leant in to kiss me.

Bella POV

I couldn't even begin to describe my happiness but I was certain Jasper could feel it. I could quite happily kiss him all night if I wasn't so tired. I couldn't believe that he wanted me, this perfect, warm hearted not to mention gorgeous vampire _wanted_ me. I suddenly realised that I hadn't told him that I loved him back.

"I love you too." I said quickly.

"I know." He smiled. "But it's always nice to hear that someone loves you."

"Yes." I smiled. "It is."

"Who couldn't love you darlin'?" he grinned, as I climbed off of his lap and settled back down next to him. Then everything was back to normal. It was as if none of it had happened...but it had…it was just that we didn't need to change a thing. I smiled to myself and snuggled into Jasper's side like I had so many nights before...I never thought I'd be this happy again.

Jasper's phone vibrated in his pocket and he reached for it. I watched him shake his head with a smile on his face.

"Never bet against Alice." He murmured. A stab of guilt ran through me at the thought of my best friend...what kind of friend was I? "Stop that."

"I can't help it." I mumbled.

"Try." He said, showing me the message.

'I told you so :D

Alice x'

Had Alice seen this? If so how long ago did she see it? Besides if she saw this, why in the hell didn't she see any of what happened back in Forks?

The rest of the evening was no different from any other. We sat on the sofa until I started dozing and then Jasper ordered me to bed. The only difference was that now I got a goodnight kiss when he went to his study and I went to bed. He sent me a huge wave of love as I snuggled down into my duvet and even though he wasn't even in the room...it was perfect timing and sent me off into a peaceful sleep full of wonderful dreams.

The next morning I was up early and I showered quickly, getting downstairs faster than I had done in months. I just couldn't wait to be able to kiss my Jasper...that sounded so wonderful in my head...my Jasper. As I reached the kitchen I felt butterflies reach my stomach, almost as if I were scared that I had dreamed the whole thing last night.

But to my disappointment, Jasper wasn't in the kitchen. I sighed and went to pour myself a glass of orange juice. I couldn't hear him in the house but then again vampires usually moved silently anyway. I placed my toast in the oven and frowned...I really was going to have to get a toaster. Unfortunately mine had blown up two days after I moved in here.

"Miss me?" a voice came from behind me. I spun around to see Jasper leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed. In his dirty faded jeans and white t-shirt, as well as his dirty hands and arms, I had never seen anything so sexy.

"What have you been up to? Fighting with an oil can?" I asked him.

"Your truck actually." He replied.

"My truck? What did you do to my truck?" I asked suspiciously.

"Nothing Bella, you just had a flat tire." He replied. "I changed it with the spare, but you'll need a new one. I just got carried away checking the oil and water and lights and everything while I was out there...you haven't changed your oil since you got that thing, have you?"

"Not once." I agreed.

"Good thing you got me then." He said, as I walked over to him. He snaked his arms around me and gave me a quick kiss. "Your toast is burning."

"Damn it!" I shouted, rushing over to it, as Jasper just stood chuckling by the doorway.

I chucked my burnt toast in the bin and then smiled. Nothing had changed at all. We were going to be just fine...

Author's Notes: I hope you guys aren't disappointed! Please enjoy and I'll try to get more up as soon as possible. If you haven't already, check out my other Bella/Jasper story Hideaway.


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Notes: Oh I love you guys! I was sooo happy to see all of those reviews that I was on my laptop as soon as I got in working on the next chapter for you. I didn't think this story would be so popular but I'm glad it is and I hope you continue to enjoy it.

Special thanks to my beta Bripearl for making sure you guys understand this!

Disclaimer: I don't own it, don't sue

Scars

Chapter 9

Jasper POV

I felt the waves of panic, worry, and then fear beginning to disturb Bella's sleep and headed to her room. Sure enough she was practically fighting with the duvet in her sleep. I knelt next to the bed and held her hand while I calmed her.

"Don't go Jasper..." she murmured. "Promise you won't leave..." I knew she wasn't really awake and talking to me. She was either dreaming, or part of her subconscious registered my calm. I was pleased that she thought of me even when she wasn't actively doing so.

"I promise." I murmured back to her, even though she couldn't hear me. I decided it was more of a promise to myself...Bella made me happy, made me feel whole and good and I was pretty sure I made her happy too thanks to my gift. So I promised myself to keep it that way. I would keep us both happy and together.

I moved to leave but Bella now had a grip on my hand so tight I had to pry it off. She groaned and stirred.

"Where do you think you're going?" she asked, she was awake now even if her eyes weren't open. When I didn't reply she continued. "Get in here Mr Whitlock and make yourself useful."

I didn't know exactly what she meant but got on the bed anyway. I tucked the duvet around her more tightly so I wouldn't make her cold and hugged her small warm form to me.

"That's better. My own cure for nightmares..." she murmured, snuggling against me.

"Glad I'm good for something." I chuckled, but she was already drifting back to sleep. I looked at the human girl in my arms and wondered why I hadn't done this before. With her sleepiness and calm dreamy state washing over me...this was probably the closest a vampire could get to sleep.

I watched over her all night, it was amusing to see how she shifted and turned in her sleep, how she managed to unravel herself from the duvet to press against me. I wasn't surprised that she hadn't wanted to be rolled in the duvet any longer; she was far hotter than normal. I stopped breathing as she nuzzled her way against my cool form. She was so hot, and she smelt so good.

Bella POV

I woke the next morning to find myself half sprawled across Jasper's chest. He was laid on his back and didn't seem to notice that I was awake, although I knew he had. I was pretty sure I hadn't fallen asleep in this position...poor Jasper I must have been all over him during the night. I blushed as I thought of the closeness...but I had slept so well. I don't remember sleeping that well in years.

"Happy?" he asked me, making me jump slightly. I looked at him and nodded. "You're not cold are you?"

"No." I replied. "Not at all actually." I felt his arms tighten around me and I began to draw circles on his jumper with my finger.

"I've got a surprise for you." He told me.

"I don't need anything Jasper." I protested softly.

"I think you'll like it, and it didn't cost me a thing." He insisted. I sat up and looked down at him curiously. "Alice is coming to visit you next week."

"Really?" I grinned. "And it's not going to be weird?"

"It'd be weird seeing any of us after such a long time darlin', but I promise you that after a few minutes you'll be friends as if you never parted." He told me. I leant down to kiss him with a smile on my face. "What did you want to do today?"

"Urgh...it's raining again." I replied, looking out the window. "I have coursework to do anyway. It's due tomorrow."

"I'll help you then. We can just have a lazy day." He suggested.

"I like the sound of that." I grinned, laying back down and snuggling into his side. "I hate the rain and cold. Let's just never leave the house unless it's sunny."

"Well...maybe we can sort out a holiday in the sun...somewhere quiet where I won't have to hide." He said, rolling onto his side to lean over me.

"That'd be nice." I sighed, closing my eyes, trying to picture me and Jasper somewhere hot and exotic. That'd be wonderful...a nice quiet sunny island where I could lay in the sun with Jasper without him having to hide. Would his skin warm in the sun?

Jasper POV

"I've also been thinking that maybe it's time I told Carlisle and the rest of the family about us." I told her decidedly. She looked a little shocked but didn't say anything. "Obviously Alice knows, as usual, but she hasn't said anything to the others and even though we're not the family we once were...Carlisle and Esme still took me in and I'd like them to know."

"What about..." she started. I didn't need to be an empath to know how uneasy talking about him made her sometimes.

"Did you want to wait? We have all learnt to hide our thoughts from him, but we can't hide them forever. I don't want Carlisle and Esme to have to keep secrets..."

"No...I don't mind him knowing I just don't want him to overreact." She replied. "I mean you were the main reason he chose to remove himself from my life...and now...you are my life Jasper. I just don't want him to do anything stupid."

"You still love him?" I asked evenly.

"Jasper trust me what I had with Edward just...it doesn't even compare to what we have." She replied, looking up to meet my eyes. "But Edward brought me into your world, your family. And you always remember your first love...just like you remember Maria...even though you wouldn't ever take her back, you still loved her once."

"Ssh beautiful." I told her, pressing my lips to hers. I knew what she meant, I felt what she felt and knew she loved me and that was all that mattered. I just needed her to know how she felt.

What started off as a soft kiss turned into so much more when I felt her desire. Who was I to leave her wanting? I moved my hands to her waist, feeling the warm skin exposed between her shorts and top. She kissed me back harder, pressing her whole body against mine and I wanted her like no other. I wanted her more than I'd ever wanted her blood but now wasn't the time. I started to pull back from her and leant up on my arms.

"Now Miss Bella might you be trying to seduce me?" I smirked.

"You started it." She whispered. "Hey look!" She sat up and pointed to the window. "The rain stopped!"

"Still set on that lazy day?" I asked her. "I've got an idea if it warms up a bit..."

"Does it involve watching you throwing rainbows?" she asked.

"It just might but that wasn't my idea." I replied.

"Sure, if you've got a better plan than having to do my coursework then by all means." She grinned.

"Alright I'll let you get ready while I go fix ya something to eat." I told her, kissing her softly. I headed downstairs and smiled to myself. I should have joined Bella in bed much sooner. We had been living together for two months now and it had been a month since I heard the words that made my existence worthwhile again. Bella told me she loved me and gave me a new chance at being happy.

Since then I hadn't tried to push my boundaries to be with her intimately...I had been content to kiss her and she had seemed happy with that even though sometimes I knew it frustrated us both. It was only last night, sharing a bed with her that I realised that unless I hadn't hunted in a while I was nearly immune to Bella's blood. I'm sure if she cut herself then it would be somewhat harder but on a day to day basis it no longer bothered me. I felt like an idiot for wasting time waiting. Now I couldn't wait to climb back in that bed with her tonight and let myself go that bit further.

"That smells amazing." Bella's voice came from behind me. I turned and placed the bacon and eggs on the table.

"Syrup?" I asked her.

"No, thanks." She replied, sitting down.

"I'm just going to get ready." I told her, placing a kiss on the top of her head as I left the room.

Bella POV

After finishing my breakfast I went back upstairs to track down Jasper. He was just walking out of his room dressed in clean jeans and a shirt when I saw him. God, did he have to look so good in everything?

"OK...I've packed us a bag of everything we need so if you're ready..." he said, raising an eyebrow waiting for my response.

"I think I'm ready." I replied. "Not that I know where we're going..."

"It's a surprise." He replied, gesturing for me to head back down the stairs.

As the front door opened, the sun hit my eyes. This was probably the nicest weather we'd had in weeks, any sign of the earlier rain was gone and it was actually warming up. When the wind rustled the trees, sunlight skimmed across the side of Jasper's face causing it to sparkle for a moment before the trees moved again.

"Are you going to be alright out here in the sun?" I asked, heading to his truck.

"We're not going in the truck darlin'." Jasper smirked. "We're going for a walk."

"Why do I have a feeling this is going to end in bruises for me?" I sighed. He just chuckled and took my hand in his cold one and began leading the way.

"It'll be worth it." He told me, squeezing my hand. "I promise."

Author's Notes: Another Chapter done. Hope you enjoyed it and I hope you're ready for Bella's surprise! As always if you've got any good fics you can recommend please do and I always love it when you hit the nice review button! x


	10. Chapter 10

Author's Notes: Reviews reviews! I love them! Thanks guys! Especially the ones who keep coming back for more.

Special thanks to Bripearl for being my beta on this story!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the characters or make any money so please don't sue me.

Scars

Chapter 10

Check out the fanfic trailer at http:/ www . Youtube . com /watch?v=cksSib4hk_U

Without spaces obviously

Jasper POV

It was nearly half an hour's walk at human pace to get to the spot I wanted. I had already checked the area so that I could plan the perfect date with Bella, but randomly surprising her was so much better. It didn't even bother me that we were going this slow because I could watch her more closely. I loved how she bit her lip just before she took a big step over a rock or how she shyly looked at me whenever the sun snuck out from amongst the trees.

There would be plenty of sunny spots when we got there if all she wanted was to see me reflecting the light. I'd packed as much as I could so that we could spend the whole day up here, since it may be our only chance to get out in such nice weather for a while.

"Aren't you bored?" she asked me.

"No." I replied simply grinning at her. She blushed slightly and looked at her feet, which was probably a good idea. If she watched where her feet were stepping, maybe she wouldn't trip.

"So are you going to even give me a clue as to where we're going?" she asked and I immediately shook my head. She smirked. "Not even a tiny one?"

"No god damn way." I chuckled. "We're nearly there anyways."

"That wasn't so bad." She said, glancing back down the slope behind us. "Would've been quicker if you carried me though..."

"Is that all you're after?" I smirked. Before she could say another word I lifted her into my arms bridal style and kept walking at human pace.

"So much for quicker." She said, rolling her eyes and putting her arms around my neck.

"Quiet you." I murmured.

A few moments later, I stepped over a bank and through the last of the trees.

"Surprise." I whispered. Bella looked from my face to the view in front of us. I heard her breath catch and smiled to myself. It really was something. The trees had thinned out to reveal the lake and the sun covered half of it.

"It's beautiful." She said softly, as I lowered her to her feet. She spun to face me with a huge smile on her face that made my heart want to beat for her. "Oh Jasper it's beautiful."

"So you don't hate all presents and surprises." I teased.

"Shut up, I just don't like people wasting money on me." She said, pushing me. I humoured her and stepped back as if I'd been pushed. She turned and walked down to the lake. I watched her as she carefully stepped her way around the edge, looking at the water.

I found the most comfortable looking spot to unpack the bag I had brought and sat down on the ground. It was barely even damp, now that the sun had come out. I pulled out a blanket from the bag, followed by the food and drinks I had brought for her along with spare clothes, as well as Bella's college books.

"Did you bring the whole house?" I heard her ask, as she approached me.

"I'm just prepared." I replied. "If I hadn't have brought spare clothes you wouldn't have liked going home wet."

"Excuse me?" Bella practically choked.

"We're going swimming." I grinned.

"I thought we would just maybe paddle a little...or look at it." She protested.

Bella POV

Swimming? In a lake? No way in hell was I stripping down out here...there was no way I had the confidence for that. I was trying to think up some good excuses when I noticed Jasper heading towards the lake himself...in just his shorts and suddenly I was a bit more interested in swimming after all.

I watched his perfect form start walking into the lake until it got deeper and then he just sunk under it completely. When he surfaced, the sun caught his pale skin and he sparkled again.

"Come here darlin'!" he called. I stood at the edge of the water and pulled my shoes and socks off before tossing them back towards the blanket and missing terribly. Then I looked back at Jasper and moved my hand nervously at the hem of my jumper.

After it had hovered there for a few moments Jasper turned his back to me. I still hesitated but tugged my jumper up over my head and then unbuttoned my jeans. I looked at Jasper again to check if he was still facing away before quickly pushing my jeans down and then throwing both items of clothing in the same direction that my shoes and socks had gone.

"Word of advice." Jasper's voice came. "Jump."

Figures...the water was probably freezing. Well at least it looked clean. I glanced around the lake until my eyes landed on a rock to one side. I quickly stumbled my way to it and closed my eyes before taking a deep breath and stepping off of it.

The water took my breath away. It was freezing. At the sound of the splash Jasper had turned back around and had paddled his way over, his damp and messy hair framing his face. The water coated his perfectly toned shoulders and I almost moaned. This vampire was mine.

He could obviously feel my reaction to him because he approached with one eyebrow raised curiously.

"Did I ever tell you, I love you?" he murmured, leaning over to place a light kiss on my lips.

"Are you sure this wasn't just a plot to get my clothes off?" I joked. He didn't look amused. Instead I was suddenly crushed against his hard body, which no longer felt so cold.

"If I was just fixin' to get your clothes off Bella, I would have done it by now." He said in a low voice. My breath caught in my throat as I waited for him to press his lips to mine. This wasn't the little gentle kiss from a moment ago. It was a slow, deep kiss but demanding and strong as his mouth moved over mine. Both of us clung to each other as tightly as possible...well perhaps he didn't but he held me pretty tight just the same. Warm feelings swept across me and I was pretty certain it wasn't just desire. I could feel how much he loved me, wanted me. I sighed into the kiss. Thanks to Jasper's gift I would never have to doubt how he felt about me and that was very comforting.

"Whatever you're feeling feels pretty great." He murmured against my lips. I grinned and felt my cheeks go hot.

"You're the empath you know what I'm feeling." I replied, pulling away from him a bit.

"It's not an exact science of something Bella." He huffed. God that was adorable. I leant back against the water floating backwards.

"Go ahead guess." I grinned. "I'll let you know how close you get."

"Well right now you're amused and pretty pleased with yourself...and perhaps a little smug." He replied. I narrowed my eyes and concentrated very hard on being annoyed. "You're not really mad."

"Come on..." I prompted, trying not to let my serious face crack into a smile.

"It was lots of things, it was attraction and lust, love and friendship..." he said softly, moving closer to me. He pulled me back into his arms. "It was happiness and excitement, contentment and satisfaction, hope and...it was so many things darlin'...it was a wonderful feelin'."

"I know." I replied, leaning up to kiss him quickly before diving under the water in front of him and swimming away as fast as I could.

Jasper POV

I watched Bella dart away from me and dive under the water, but I just stood there and chuckled to myself.

"Do you really want to race me?" I called to her, as she surfaced on the other side of the lake. "Do you really think you're faster than me?" I instantly crossed the lake until I was in front of her.

"Of course not. It's just fun to try." She shrugged.

We spent about an hour splashing around and hiding from each other under the water before climbing out of the water. I took Bella's hand and lifted her onto my back as she stumbled over the rocks with her bare feet. I placed her on the ground next to the blanket and grabbed the towels. I wrapped one around Bella before tossing the other one over my own shoulders.

"Want to see a trick?" I asked her. I used the towel to dry my hair a little and then ran away from her into the woods and then back again, after I had done this a few times I stopped in front of her, completely dry as if I'd never been near the water.

"No fair." She smiled, as I wrapped my arms around her and rubbed the towel across her back.

"Want something to eat?" I asked. She nodded and we took a seat on the blanket. I handed her a wrapped sandwich from the bag and leant back on my elbows to look at her.

"You think I'd get used to people watching me eat by now..." she commented. "God I'm freezing."

"Here." I murmured, handing her jeans and a jumper, with the dry set of underwear and vest top I had packed. I'll admit I felt slightly creepy going through her underwear drawer for them.

"Thanks." She replied. She let her towel drop and then her hands stopped at the bottom of her wet vest. I moved over to kneel in front of her and ran my hands down her sides until they reached hers. "Er..." She was nervous and I didn't have to be an empath to know it. I slowly lifted her vest top upwards, wondering if her nervousness would get the best of her, but sure enough she lifted her arms to let me pull it over her head and drop it on the ground. I pulled her against me feeling her warm skin against mine. Our eyes met as I slid my hands around her back and up to undo her bra. I could hear her heart speed up and her pulse racing. I slid the bra off of her placing a kiss on her shoulder as I did so. I barely allowed myself to look at those perfect breasts before putting the dry bra on her and pulling the dry vest on over the top.

"Lie down." I commanded softly. She hesitated but moved her feet from under her and laid down on the blanket. I leant over her and reached for her underwear. I hooked a finger around each side and gently dragged them down, trying to ignore the scent of her as I did so. Once free of the wet underwear I tugged the dry pair gently back up her legs, placing kisses along her legs as I went. She stood up and her jeans went on next and again I kissed my way up and did up the button placing a kiss on her stomach as I did so. She giggled as I passed her the jumper to pull over her head. I didn't fail to notice how flushed her face was.

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about darlin'." I told her. I was rewarded by her face turning an even deeper shade of red.

"I um...I'll just get myself a drink." She stuttered, stepping away from me. Unfortunately she chose to step backwards and Bella being Bella slipped. I caught her as she fell before her face hit the ground. I froze as I helped her up. She was bleeding. Bella looked down at her hand that she'd held out to break her fall and sure enough a small scuff had broken the skin. Her eyes locked on mine as I felt the burn in my throat...she was scared I could feel it...I could see it. Then all I could think about was her blood just barely flowing from the graze on her hand...and god did it smell good.

Author's Notes: Hehe sorry guys. I couldn't resist. Plus I have to leave now to hit the ice rink my coach will kick my butt if I'm late! Hope this was enough to keep you entertained for the moment. I'll be started the next chapter tonight. Xx Check out the trailer for this fic at .com/watch?v=cksSib4hk_U and don't forget that little review button down there.

I I

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	11. Chapter 11

Author's Notes: Reviews Reviews! You guys are the best! So here's some more because you're the best!

Many thanks to JenJenSon for being my beta!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the characters or make any money so please don't sue me.

Scars

Chapter 11

Check out the fanfic trailer at http:/ www . youtube . com /watch?v=cksSib4hk_U

Without the spaces obviously

Bella POV

_You ever love somebody so much  
You can barely breathe, when you're with them  
You meet, and neither one of you even know what hit 'em  
_

Everything seemed like it was in a movie not like I was actually living it. One second it was going so fast, the next in slow motion. I saw Jasper's eyes darken, set on my hand. I called his name but he didn't show any sign of even hearing me. Instantly he had me pinned to the ground.

I kept telling myself to breathe, calm down, Jasper won't hurt me...project calm feelings Bella. Project love Bella... Easier said than done when all I could think of was that my clumsiness had once again been the cause of Jasper losing control. He held my hand in both of his and brought it to his lips with a smirk. I closed my eyes. This was it.

_High of a love  
Drunk from the hate  
It's like I'm huffing paint  
And I love it the more that I suffer  
_

Part of me prayed he'd do it but stop in time to not kill me. At least I'd be like him then. I could spend forever with him...if he ever forgave himself.

He licked the palm of my hand for a moment before bringing it to his lips and sucking at it. It was sick and twisted but I couldn't help it, a moan escaped my lips and in a heartbeat Jasper was stood several feet away from me.

_Just gonna stand there  
And watch me burn  
But that's alright  
Because I like  
The way it hurts  
_

"Jasper?" I called out to him. Relief washed through me and I loved him all the more...I hoped he could feel that. He started to walk ever so slowly back to me as if giving himself time to recover.

Jasper POV

A sudden jolt of lust and Bella's moan had snapped me out of predator mode in an instant. How could I do this to her? To Bella? My Bella? The thought of what I'd nearly done crashed down around me as a leapt back from her.

God damn it Edward had been right about me. Right to leave Folks and insist we all stay well away. Now I had hurt Bella all over again.

As my mind stopped reeling and I realised exactly what had snapped me out of it I was curious and shocked.

Bella liked that? Good God the woman really was a danger magnet! I had been toying with her wound ready to feed off of her and she had lay there and enjoyed it. I smirked, I guess she wasn't kidding when she mentioned an adrenaline junkie phase.

Then I made the mistake of remembering her blood...the warm, sweet and salty taste across my tongue. Everything about it was incredible. I could still taste it and smell it.

I stopped breathing to try and stop the smell and closed my eyes for a moment to calm myself down. I needed to apologise to Bella.

I felt a rush of warmth and felt Bella's love surrounding me. I couldn't help the small smile that came to my lips.

God she really was the most incredible woman I had ever met, and she certainly had the biggest heart too.

_Maybe that's what happens  
When a tornado meets a volcano  
All I know is  
I love you too much  
To walk away though  
_

"Jasper?" her voice called out to me. I started walking towards her, slow even for human pace to give myself time to back away if I became tempted or for Bella to show that she was uncomfortable. But she leant over and grabbed the bottle of water and rinsed off her hand to wash away any trace of blood and wrapped her hand up in her damp vest top. She was an angel.

I reached her as she sat up and got comfortable on the blanket almost as if nothing had happened. I crouched down in front of her but I didn't dare look into her eyes. I couldn't look into her eyes and see her disappointed in me.

"I forgive you." She whispered. I looked up at her and the disappointment I expected wasn't there, I couldn't feel any either.

"Bella I could've- "

"Sshh..." she said softly. "Jasper I'm going to hurt myself and it's going to be hard for you but you stopped. Jasper you wouldn't have done anything to hurt me."

_Just gonna stand there  
And watch me burn  
But that's alright  
Because I like  
The way it hurts_

"I was so close Bella." I shuddered.

"But you didn't. The second you thought you were hurting me you would have stopped." She insisted. She seemed so much surer of that than I did. "One day I hope that...you'll be able to change me as well."

I thought on that for a minute, while I dug out the first aid pack in the bag. It was only a small one but I thought I'd better have something on me knowing what Bella was like. I tugged the vest from her hand and placed a plaster on it instead.

I let her hand drop and met her gaze. I thought about what it would be like to change her. What she would look like as a vampire...how easy it would be to be with her. Would I be able to stop? I thought of the taste of her blood again. It was amazing, even better than it smelt but Bella meant more to me than that.

Then I noticed her eyes flick behind me, I felt fear and panic and then I was thrown to one side.

I knew that scent. I growled at the offending vampire now standing protectively in front of Bella.

"Edward no!" Bella cried out.

"You don't know the vile things he was thinking." Edward spat.

"And you don't know what I was thinking." She replied coldly. I was impressed but I was certainly shocked to see Edward. I hadn't seen him in a very long time.

"Get the hell away from her!" Edward growled.

"I'm not going unless she asks me to." I muttered.

"What are you doing here?" Bella asked.

"Protecting you." He replied, without turning to look at her.

"That's not your job." She spat, moving from behind him. They looked at each other properly for the first time since he left her in Forks.

"It is when it's from my brother." He replied insistently.

"You don't need to protect me from him." Bella said calmly, heading towards me.

"Bella he's a monster." He growled.

"I love him." She said. I felt his shock, hurt and hate at those three simple words and then he was on me. We wrestled until I threw him down but he was up and had me down just as fast. It continued like that with Bella screaming for us to stop.

"Tell her!" Edward screamed at me. "Tell her why I don't trust you with her!"

"Edward what the hell are you talking about?" Bella shouted.

I felt the guilt overpower me and Edward had me in a headlock.

"TELL HER!" he screamed.

Author's Notes: Sorry short but it was all I could fit in today. The lyrics are from Eminem and Rhianna's Love the way you lie as you probably know. I hope you're still enjoying and I hope you all come back for more soon xx


	12. Chapter 12

Author's Notes: My other Bella/Jasper fic is on the favourites list of like 300 people let's see if I can make this one as popular! Keep reading guys and if you're one of my regulars add it to your favourites and/or alerts! I know you guys don't like short chapters but I'm a single mom who works six days a week so that doesn't leave much time to fit my stories in so please bear with me. Sorry.

Special thanks to my beta JenJenSon for helping me with this story.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the characters or make any money so please don't sue me.

Scars

Chapter 12

Check out the fanfic trailer at http:/ www . youtube . com /watch?v=cksSib4hk_U

Without the spaces obviously

Bella POV

I saw Jasper's face twist in pain and ran towards them.

"Stop it! You're hurting him!" I screamed. "He's not fighting back! Stop it!" Edward let go of him but didn't step back. I held Jasper's head between my hands but he wouldn't look me in the eye.

"Tell her about Violet." He said coldly.

"Jasper?" I called, coaxing him to look up at me. His eyes were haunted and hurting. I tried to comfort him but I knew this wasn't a pain I could take away.

"Violet was his singer." Edward sneered.

"I'll tell her!" Jasper hissed, turning on Edward. "You just back off a minute, I don't remember you being so immune when you first met Bella."

"I'm not leaving you with her." Edward said bluntly.

"If you won't leave at least give us a bit of space. Can't you see you're making it worse?" I asked him. He just nodded curtly and in an instant he watched us from the other side of the clearing.

"Does every vampire have a singer?" I asked, Jasper who still knelt in front of me.

"Yes." He replied quietly. "It is said that every one of our kind has a singer and a true mate."

"Both? So...they can't be the same person?" I asked him, immediately thinking about Edward saying how I was his mate.

"I doubt it since a singer is doomed to die or be turned if they meet the vampire they sing to." He said, with a bitter laugh. "Violet was my singer. I was...fascinated, by her...like you and Edward I guess." I moved to sit behind Jasper and leant him back against me, hugging his solid frame as if it were more breakable than mine. "Bella, what I was before I met Alice and joined the others...I really was a monster. When I left Maria I didn't know where I was going. I joined others for a short while and then moved on and that lasted for a while. Then I met Violet. Human. Her blood called to me so much I nearly killed her the second I smelt her...but then I felt her emotions. She was already in so much pain. Her mother had just died. That was the only thing that kept me from killing her that day. The fact that she was in pain and I hadn't caused it. There must have been some human left in me somewhere because I went and asked her what was wrong. I befriended her even though every day was a struggle. Then she found out that she was dying too. She asked me to change her. I couldn't stop." He paused for a long time, his body was shaking and I was certain if he could cry he would be. I could feel him projecting his pain and I felt the tears running down my own face. "I couldn't stop Bella I couldn't stop until I drank her dry."

"Sshh...Jasper it's ok." I told him, hugging his body back against mine, burying my face in his back. "Jasper you're a different person now and you're sorry for what you did...the fact that you regret it means you're not a monster."

"Bella I'll never be able to change you." He said, pulling away from me. He got to his feet and offered me his hand to help me up too.

"If you really can't Jasper...then I won't make you. When I'm ready we could ask Carlisle." I told him. "I would love for you to be the one to do it...and if it counts for anything I honestly think you would be able to stop. You stopped earlier. I'm not your singer. But if you don't believe you can, I won't make you."

"Bella darlin', please understand that...I'm never going to be the perfect man you deserve. I'm always going to be a little rough around the edges, a little battered and scarred." He said, running his thumb along my jaw.

"I wouldn't have you any other way." I told him, and leant forward to kiss him. "I don't want perfect, I want you."

"I love you, Miss Swan." He murmured against my lips, as he leaned in for another kiss.

"I love you, Mr Whitlock." I replied, failing dreadfully at a southern accent. Thankfully though it lightened the mood. Suddenly I remembered Edward but when I looked to where he had been...he was gone. I glanced around and sure enough Edward had vanished.

_She's a yellow pair of running shoes  
A holey pair of jeans  
She looks great in cheap sunglasses  
She looks great in anything  
_

"Now you've gone and done it." A voice chimed from behind us.

"Alice?" I cried. I ran towards her and if she were human I would have bowled her over on impact, as I threw my arms around her.

"Bella!" she smiled, detangling herself from me. "I forgot how good you smell." I blushed slightly realising that perhaps vampires weren't designed to be cuddly with humans without warning.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I was trying to stop Edward but he's faster than me even after I left first, and it would appear that you two seem to have a lack of reception out here." She said matter of factly. "Now he's decided to go off on his own again and sulk."

"He's gone?" I asked, surprised he left so quickly after claiming that he needed to protect me from Jasper.

"You didn't feel like coming to stop me from eating Bella though?" Jasper asked, raising an eyebrow.

_She's I want a piece of chocolate  
Take me to a movie  
She's I can't find a thing to wear  
Now and then she's moody_

"I knew you'd be fine." She shrugged. There was an awkward moment of silence before she broke into a huge smile. "Well come on give your sister a hug!" She pulled Jasper into a hug and smiled before hugging me again.

Jasper POV

Bella and Alice had disappeared to Bella's room. Girl stuff I guessed. Alice recommended that I go hunt just in case. I headed upstairs to let them know I was going. I could heard them laughing from the landing and knocked on the door.

"Come in Jasper." Bella's voice called softly. I walked in and she looked at me curiously. "Why are you knocking? It's your house."

"It's called being a gentleman." I told her. "I'm just heading off now. I won't be very long."

"It's ok, Alice will keep me company." She replied softly. I moved over to them on the bed and glanced at Alice.

"Keep her safe...if he comes back." I told her.

"Of course." She nodded. "I don't see him coming back anytime soon though."

"I'll be back in a few hours." I said to Bella, leaning down to kiss her cheek. "I'm sorry about today, it was supposed to be perfect."

"Don't worry." She said, shaking her head.

I left them alone to catch up properly and headed outside and into the woods again. I ran and kept going until I reached the wilder area. I allowed my mind to shut off my emotions and focus on nothing but the hunt.

A scent caught my attention and I was flying through the trees after it. The deer barely even had a chance to raise its head before it hit the ground and the warmth flooded into my mouth. I finished off a couple of deer before my thoughts returned to Bella. My Bella.

I knew now that unless she asked me to, I would never leave her. My entire world centred around her. It was like suddenly everything looked brighter and felt better when she was in my life. If it weren't so soon I would get down on one knee for her but I doubted she was the type to marry young. She seemed far too sensible most of the time.

I didn't know if I would be able to forgive myself for nearly hurting her, but she had a point I had stopped and that was what I had to focus on. Her feelings came first in my mind and I prayed to god that would always be the case.

When I reached the house I found Bella sat in the living room with my guitar in her lap. She looked like she was concentrating pretty hard on playing something. But I couldn't sense Alice in the house, just a lingering scent that she had been here.

"Where's Alice?" I asked.

"Gone. She said she'd be back soon and to tell you that you're invited to a gathering at Carlisle and Esme's new house..." Bella said, putting the guitar down and blushing.

_She's a warm conversation  
That I wouldn't miss for nothing  
She's a fighter when she's mad  
And she's a lover when she's loving_

"Don't stop on my account." I told her.

"I don't really know how to play...I know like three chords and that's my lot." She shrugged. "You're a mess."

I looked down at my clothes and sure enough, although the hunt had been easy and not ruffled my clothes one bit...mine and Edward's scuffle earlier had. I had the good grace to look somewhat embarrassed for not tidying myself up sooner.

"I'd better go change." I told her.

"You clothes are in the bathroom." She said softly. I leant over to kiss her lightly, careful just in case I still tasted of blood.

"I don't deserve you." I smiled, eternally grateful that today's events had not sent Bella Swan running from my life as fast as a human could. Not only was she still here but she was acting as if nothing had changed and I lost my heart that little bit more.

Bella POV

I waited for Jasper to get into the shower and went upstairs myself. I had washed and changed after we got in earlier and now just needed to change for bed. I found some pyjama shorts and a t-shirt. Coincidently it was one of Jasper's t-shirts.

I knocked on the bathroom door and waited for a response.

"Come in Bella." He called. I went in to find him just fastening his jeans with a towel still hanging around his shoulders. I didn't try to hide the fact that I was looking at him, why bother when he would be able to feel the lust and attraction pouring off of me anyway. I went to the sink and grabbed my toothbrush and started cleaning my teeth, trying to ignore Jasper's flexing muscles behind me as he towel dried his hair then lifted a tight t-shirt over his head.

_And she's everything I ever wanted  
And everything I need  
I talk about her, I go on and on and on  
'Cause she's everything to me_

"Are you going to steal all of my clothes?" he murmured in my ear, sliding his hands around my waist.

"No." I replied casually. "Your jeans would be far too big for me and your shoes and boots would too."

"Well my apologies ma'am." He grinned. "Please forgive that you can't pinch my whole wardrobe."

"You're forgiven." I sighed, as he shifted me to the side so he could clean his teeth. I stood watching him curiously. I had thought that he had a toothbrush and shower gel and all those things here just as props and had never noticed him cleaning his teeth. "Do vampires floss too?"

"Would you rather I taste of animal blood?" he asked bluntly. I blushed as I gathered his meaning, slightly touched that the only reason he had a toothbrush was for my sake.

When he was done before I could say anything else he lifted me into his arms and carried me to the bedroom.

"Thanks, I've been walking all day, those last four steps across the landing would have really done it for me." I grinned.

"I trust you did your coursework with Alice?" He asked. I nodded, trying not to laugh. "Good, then it's bed time for you missy."

With that he crawled onto the bed tucking me in one side, making sure a blanket wrapped around me under the quilt and then climbed in as well. I happily settled into his arms, wrapped around me like steel bands from behind. One minute I was lying in Jasper's arms, feeling him kiss my temple and saying sweet things. Next my eyes were closed.

_Everyday that passes  
I only love her more  
Yeah, she's the one  
That I'd lay down my own life for_

Author's Notes: hehe hope you like everyone! I'm trying really hard for you! Lyrics are from Brad Paisley's She's Everything.


	13. Chapter 13

Author's Notes: My other Bella/Jasper fic is on the favourites list of like 300 people let's see if I can make this one as popular! Keep reading guys and if you're one of my regulars add it to your favourites and/or alerts! I know you guys don't like short chapters but I'm a single mom who works six days a week so that doesn't leave much time to fit my stories in so please bear with me. Sorry.

Special thanks to my beta JenJenSon for helping me with this story.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the characters or make any money so please don't sue me.

Scars

Chapter 13

Check out the fanfic trailer at http:/ www . youtube . com /watch?v=cksSib4hk_U

Without the spaces obviously

Bella POV

It had been a week since Alice's visit. She had left looking smug and chirpy. She had simply told me Jasper would be back any minute, given me a hug and told me she'd be back unless of course I came to the family reunion that she had come here to invite Jasper to.

We had talked constantly while Jasper had been hunting. She was thrilled for us and told me how happy she was that she could see her soul mate. She could see him and now she just had to wait until the time was right. I was glad. I would always feel slightly guilty for being with Jasper but that wouldn't change the fact that I loved him far too much to give him up. I could never give him up, not even for Alice.

Jasper seemed to understand me perfectly. Between him being able to read my emotions and sharing his with me we were able to communicate pretty effectively without even speaking. The more practise I got and the more tuned into my emotions Jasper became, I even became able to communicate them to him pretty clearly.

Jasper treated me like a princess, like some kind of royalty. I wasn't – but he didn't care. Still he knew that material things meant nothing to me. He would bring home flowers from hunting trips, nothing grand not a bouquet, just one or sometimes a few wildflowers as a gesture. He made me breakfast and coffee in the mornings and helped me with my coursework. This past week had been brilliant though since it was Christmas break and I hadn't been at college.

It was Christmas Eve and I couldn't wait to spend my first Christmas with Jasper...in actual fact we were flying to Carlisle and Esme's new home in New Hampshire mid morning so we could see them for Christmas. Alice had insisted to Jasper that he go and Jasper had insisted he wasn't going unless I went with him and if I didn't want to go we would stay home and he would make me Christmas dinner. Of course I had told him that I would love to see Carlisle and Esme again.

But I was nervous. It would be awkward...almost like meeting your boyfriend's family for the first time...I just already knew them but had a different boyfriend.

Jasper POV

I got back from my hunt early afternoon. I wanted to be sure I had hunted before heading to see my family tomorrow. Best appear as in control as possible. I was incredibly concerned about my control slipping in front of them but I knew that it wasn't me. I had control. It was feeling all of their thirsts at once that had made it so bad. I just had to concentrate of trying to filter my gift as much as possible, block out as much of their emotions as I could. I would still feel them obviously but the less I could feel it the better. I knew I could do it and I had to focus on that.

I heard Bella in the front room with my guitar again. I had taught her a few more than the three chords she had known and I often found her teaching herself to play it.

"You're clothes are in the bathroom." She called, as I walked through the door. I walked over to her and placed my hands on her shoulders from behind the sofa.

"You're too good for me." I told her, placing a kiss on the top of her head before going upstairs.

I couldn't wait for tomorrow. I hoped Bella liked her gifts. After all there was only one thing I wanted for Christmas. Some people wanted money, diamonds and jewellery others wanted clothes, gadgets and trinkets...but there was only one thing that I wanted; one thing that I treasured above anything else, and that was Bella.

I opened the bathroom door and started the shower. My clean t-shirt and jeans sat on the radiator just as Bella had said. I stripped and put my dirty clothes in the wash basket before stepping into the shower. I turned the temperature up as my body temperature adjusted to it until my whole body was warm.

I heard the bathroom door open and Bella's scent wafted through the bathroom, I heard her start brushing her teeth before she turned on the tap. I jumped as the water shot back to ice cold before she turned the tap off. I heard her chuckle.

"Sorry." She said, trying not to laugh. "I'm just getting ready for bed."

I slipped out from behind the shower curtain and appeared behind her, smirking as I saw her jump when she saw my reflection behind hers. I slid my wet arms around her waist to pull her against me in a firm embrace.

"You scared the crap out of me!" she chided. She turned in my arms and pressed her hands against my chest curiously. "You're warm..."

"Shower." I said, as if that explained everything but I figured she'd get the gist of it. Suddenly she seemed to realise that I had just stepped out of the shower because she turn bright red and then embarrassment she felt was almost enough to have me hiding back behind the shower curtain, which was ridiculous of course.

"um..." was all that came out of her mouth. Then as she stared at her hands on my chest again I felt the attraction and lust growing from her.

"Bella?" I called, causing her to look up at me so that I could catch her lips. I just kissed her softly a few times because pulling away but already I had a problem. Like any male, human or otherwise being naked and kissing no matter how innocent obviously made my brain scream 'SEX!'. "I'm just going to finish my shower." I said quickly, vanishing back behind the curtain before she could see. Thank god for vampire speed and slow human eyes.

"Hey!" she protested. "That's not fair."

"You're always free to join me darlin'." I said suggestively, knowing that it would do one of two things; either she would dart from the room spluttering something in embarrassment or she would stand out there thinking about it until I was already done. She appeared to be doing the second. I felt her emotions going crazy. She both liked and disliked the idea...she wanted to but she was nervous and embarrassed. "I've already seen you naked." I pointed out softly.

She still hesitated but then I heard the rustling of her clothes and I had hope. I heard each item hit the floor before the nervousness came back and she hovered on the other side of the curtain unsure.

I slowly pulled the curtain back just a little and leant my face out to hers.

"Come in here with me darlin'." I murmured huskily, kissing her again. She kissed me back and took a step into the shower. That was all I needed, I lifted her warm naked body and carried her the rest of the way in before she chickened out.

I kissed her harder until my poor little Bella found herself backed against the wall. Not that she minded of course she was enjoying every second of it, I could feel it, I could hear it in her moans and gasps for breath. A small whimper escaped her lips as I pulled away from them, only to draw out a long moan as I kissed at her neck.

Bella POV

God this was incredible. I swear if he dared to stop now I would just die. He was incredible. His body was toned and muscled from head to toe, and of course a very important one somewhere in the middle that I hadn't dared to peak at yet. I bit my lip as his assault on my neck and shoulders continued and arched my body against his. I couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed when I felt him cold and hard against me when I did so.

"Don't be embarrassed darlin'" the sexy southern voice told me. "Relax, I won't hurt you." He moved back to my lips and wrapped his arms around me, moulding our bodies against each other, I felt him pressed against me again. This time there was less embarrassment, I felt myself shudder as I felt heat growing between my legs.

Jasper pushed me away from him slightly, pressing me against the wall but his lips never left mine. I felt his hand running over my side and stomach, up to brush across my left breast and then down again.

I felt my head spinning as I was overwhelmed by the sensations of his hands and mouth roaming my skin. His kisses trailed across my cheek to my ear and neck.

"Breathe Bella." He whispered to me, in that low husky voice that took my breath away rather than encouraged me to remember how to breathe. I concentrated on doing as he said though as I ran my fingers across his hard chest.

"You're warm...it's strange." I murmured. He pulled away from me slightly, leaning with his arms on the wall either side of me. "I'd actually gotten used to you being cold..."

"Don't I made you cold?" he asked, genuinely curious. I glanced shyly into his eyes and shook my head.

"Not really..." I replied. "I mean you're skin is cold to touch but once I've adjusted to the shock of it I barely notice...I don't think I'd ever be able to cuddle up to someone that wasn't nice and cool." I trailed my hands across his face and placed a soft kiss on his lips, before leaning up to kiss along his jaw. I heard an almost growl from him before the wall was against my back again and Jasper lips assaulted mine, kissing me over and over.

"Trust me, sometimes it is a good thing to be warm." He murmured against my lips, and I gasped as I felt his hand probing at me. I let out a loud moan as I felt his fingers slid into me. I heard him stifling his own moan and realised that he knew how I felt. He could feel the pleasure he gave me, I wanted to be shy and embarrassed but I was ashamed to admit that it was a turn on to know that he would know what I felt from him touch.

I panted in between heated kisses against Jasper's lips as his hand continued to explore me like no other had before. My entire body was filling with pleasure and passion that I had only ever imagined, it built inside me like a hurricane or tsunami pushing me to a moment where my entire body clenched with anticipation. Suddenly it dawned on me what I was feeling as wave after wave of pleasurable sensations rolled through me. My body nearly instantly went limp against Jasper's hard body as every muscle suddenly relaxed save the ones clenching around his fingers over and over as I struggled to breathe.

Jasper brought me back down from my high with gentler kisses, soft and caressing. My eyes fluttered open to stare at him dazedly. I let out a deep breath in attempt to calm my now trembling body. My legs had practically turned to jello under me. Jasper lifted me into his arms and stood us both directly under the water for a few moments to rinse us off and calm my racing heart.

"Mmm...I love you..." I murmured, nuzzling his neck.

"I love you too darlin'." He smiled softly, stepping us both out of the shower. I didn't know what to say. I felt sexy and loved and so content just being in his arms. "I think it's time we got you to bed." I raised an eyebrow at him and he chuckled lightly in response. "You need sleep Bella. I don't plan on ravishing you now, believe me just now felt incredible and I do want you but you're tired and I want it to be perfect for you. There's still a chance I could hurt you."

"You won't hurt me." I told him firmly, as he dried us both. I suddenly felt a little self-conscious of my nakedness. "I'm sure that when the time is right it will be a very memorable night."

"Believe me it will be." He breathed in my ear, as he pulled his clean t-shirt over my head. It only just covered my bum but it was enough to stop my feeling so exposed. It was also nice to be in his clothes, to feel like I belong to this handsome, perfect vampire...this man.

Jasper led me into the bedroom that had gone from his, to mine, to ours. He helped dry my hair for as long as I could sit upright but as I felt my eyes grow heavy and started to sway he stopped. My hair was barely damp now anyway so he climbed into the bed with me and stretched on his back next to me.

"You do know that Emmett is going to nearly break you in half tomorrow he's missed you that much." Jasper said, breaking the comfortable silence. I smiled thinking of Emmett's giant bear hugs. I missed him too. "Every time I spoke to Alice or Esme I could hear him in the background saying 'put Bella on'."

I rolled over onto my side and snuggled against his side with a sigh and a content smile on my face.

"It's always nice to feel wanted." I sighed.

"I always want you." He whispered.

"I know, but they're different...it was always just me and my mum growing up, I always wanted a big family." I replied softly.

"I know you miss them...and I think you'll love it tomorrow." He murmured to me, as he lazily ran his hand up and down my back. "But if not just let me know and we'll go. If you get uncomfortable just give me the hint and we're gone."

"Of course." I yawned.

"Go to sleep darlin'" he told me, "before I have to make you."

"You don't scare me." I sighed, snuggling deeper against him and closing my eyes.

"I know, I really should thank god you were born with such a lack of self-preservation." He whispered, more to himself than to me. I was already falling asleep.

Author's notes: sorry it took so long i've been sooooo busy lately with work and my son. Please don't forget to drop a little review to let me know what you think. I've started the next chapter and I know a lot of you will be looking forward to seeing the rest of the family again.


	14. Chapter 14

Author's Notes: Sorry it took a while but I don't want to rush it and then ruin the whole story by having rushed chapters. Hope you're all enjoying and thanks so much to my reviewers. I really do appreciate every single one.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the characters or make any money so please don't sue me.

Scars

Chapter 14

Check out the fanfic trailer at http:/ www . youtube . com /watch?v=cksSib4hk_U

Without the spaces obviously

Jasper POV

I watched Bella all night, grateful that somewhere up there God had found some reason to bless even me with an angel like Bella. After everything I had done in my existence, after the harm I had caused to her...I certainly didn't deserve her but I was grateful anyway.

Bella it wasn't that Bella didn't judge me, obviously the things I did in the past were wrong and she knew that but she didn't let it bother her because she was convinced I was a completely different person.

As I stared at the sleeping human girl, sprawled across my chest feeling absolutely nothing but complete happiness and contentment and knowing that I didn't feel any desire to hurt her or feed from her and I knew she was right. I was different now.

Alice had shown me a new way of life that didn't involve feeding from humans and brought me to a family but her and I...it just wasn't right. As much as I did love her we just weren't that good a couple. She could see everything I did before I did it meaning I could never surprise her and if she saw something she didn't like she could change it. With Alice I never allowed myself to really find who I was and wanted to be. With Bella I knew.

Everything I enjoyed and everything I wanted was fine by Bella. She enjoyed most of the same things and even the things that she didn't overly enjoy she still enjoyed watching me enjoy them. She allowed me to be myself and love me for every part of myself.

I turned my head to glance at the window. I could see the darkness outside starting to fade and knew I only had a few hours to create my Christmas surprise for Bella. I carefully slid out from under her arms. She stirred and her arm stretched across the bed searching for me. I sent her some waves of lethargy to keep her sleeping and left the room in a flash.

Luckily it didn't take long to finish everything because I heard Bella stirring earlier than I expected. I smiled to myself as I poured her a cup of coffee.

Bella POV

I couldn't feel Jasper's arm around me and reached out for him but he wasn't there. I opened my eyes and sat up. He wasn't anywhere to be seen. It was still a little dark outside but not inside. I glanced around the room and couldn't believe my eyes. The tops of the walls were decorated by garlands of magnolia leaves in greens, browns and golds, among them tiny clear lights shone lighting the room. It was so simple and so beautiful. I stepped out of the bed, in search of clothes to protect me from the chill of wearing only Jasper's t-shirt.

"Well good mornin' beautiful." Jasper grinned, entering the room with a steaming mug in hand.

"Coffee?" I asked. "You know I love you right now." I took the warm mug and took a few sips before setting it down on the bedside table and leaning up to give him a good morning kiss.

"Merry Christmas Darlin'" he told me, wrapping his arms around me.

"Merry Christmas Cowboy." I grinned, kissing him again. "Now I really should put some clothes on it's frickin freezing!" Jasper chuckled as I dashed towards my wardrobe and dug around in my closet in search of something Christmassy. Then my eyes fell on a bag in my closet. I lifted it out and looked inside. I pulled out a cream jumper with a few small snowflakes stitched into it for details and new jeans, followed by a pair of fluffy cream socks and huge cream scarf. Then behind where the bag had been sat a pair of dark brown cowboy boots. I looked at Jasper curiously.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing...I want to say Alice but it's not...this outfit is too...comfortable for Alice..." I said. "You got me an outfit?"

"I tried. I had a little help from the Sales woman though I have to admit and Alice told me the sizes." He said, looking slightly embarrassed.

"It's perfect." I told him. "Wintery and not too...well...it's still me."

"I'm glad you like it." He replied.

"Thank you." I murmured, kissing him. "Now shoo so I can try it on."

Jasper did as I asked and left me to get dressed. I brushed my hair into its usual big untamed waves and looked in the full length mirror. It really was a great choice of outfit. I felt glamorous and Christmassy but not over dressed. It was still comfortable and me, almost casual.

I took another glance at the decorations in the room before picking up my coffee and leaving the bedroom. Jasper stood outside on the landing now dressed in dark jeans with a deep blue shirt and his tan work boots. I smiled to myself and raised my eyes back up to his handsome face.

Then I noticed the lights around the landing ceiling and the banister for the staircase was wrapped with trails of ivy leaves and more tiny clear lights.

"Jasper, have you decorated the whole house?" I asked.

"Of course." He shrugged. "I didn't get carried away with tinsel or brightly coloured things though, I figured it was far safer to stick to simple lights and green."

"It's beautiful...thank you." I told him, before making my way down the staircase. I went straight to the living room where we had piled a few presents around the only decoration I had known about, our small tree with its golden lights and bells and red beads.

I waited for him to join me on the sofa before hurriedly handing him the biggest of his presents. He looked a little embarrassed as he started to pull off the paper and lifted the box lid.

"I noticed you practically live in yours and they're falling apart so..." I blurted, as he lifted the new work boots from the box.

Jasper POV

I looked at the boots closer to see that although they were a newer style to mine had the same name on the inside. Bella had somehow got these from the very same little store in San Antonio.

"How did get these?" I asked her in disbelief, placing the boots back in the box and onto the floor out of the way.

"I googled the store one day at college and got the phone number. They were more than happy to do a mail order for me." She replied.

"Darlin', that's one of the best presents I've ever gotten and I've been around a long time." I told her, pulling her against me for a kiss. "I've got you another something too."

I handed her the small box from the table and waited for her to open it. I knew she was apprehensive about what was inside so I added. "Don't worry I promise I didn't spend a fortune." Her fingers hovered over the lid for a few moments before lifting it off to reveal the bracelet inside.

I had spent a great amount of time searching for the perfect Christmas gift for Bella. Even if I hadn't have known from her protests at her eightieth birthday back in Forks when it came to presents; I could have spotted from a mile away that Bella was not a diamonds and designer girl. She would far rather have a favourite book or dvd than something expensive with less genuine thought to it. So I had decided that even though I was going to get her something shiny, it had to be perfect for her.

I had spotted the charm bracelet in a store in the next town and knew immediately that it was what I was looking for. The bracelet chain was gold and all the more fitting were the round, turquoise jasper stones that dangled from around the bracelet and finally the only charm I had added to the bracelet so far was a small gold ice skate. It was a little silly and a little cheesey but I knew Bella would love it.

She held up at bracelet carefully to examine it and I felt the warmth of her emotions washing over me. She kept looking like she was about to say something but no words found their way out.

"I'm glad you like it." I told her.

"Help me?" she asked, gesturing for me to put it on for her. I gently took the bracelet from her hands and fastened it around her small wrist.

"I promise to help you fill that with many more little memories but for now...I thought that one could be a reminder of us meeting in this town..." I told her.

"It's perfect Jasper..." she whispered. "I think this is the best Christmas I've ever had...am I'm spending it with someone who doesn't even eat Christmas dinner."

"Shoot!" I muttered, getting up off of the couch and picking up my jacket from by the door. "We've got a plane to catch."

"Already?" Bella asked.

"Well not quite but I was going on the assumption that you didn't want me to drive to the airport at top speed." I smirked.

"No, leaving now is fine." She replied. At that moment Bella's phone began to ring. "Hi Alice."

"Bella have you left yet?" she asked.

"We're just leaving now." Bella told her.

"Can I talk t Jasper for a second please?" she asked.

"I can hear you Alice, what's the problem?" I spoke up, walking to stand next to Bella.

"Edward is here." She said. "I didn't see him decide until minutes before he arrived, he must have been changing his mind all the way here..."

"Alright thanks for letting us know." I sighed.

"Thanks for the heads up, we'll see you at lunch." Bella told Alice. I looked up at her in surprise. "We're still going." She said firmly.

"Alright...if you're sure." I said, not entirely convinced.

"He won't hurt her Jasper, not matter what happens." Alice said.

"It wasn't him hurting her physically I was worried about." I mumbled, opening the front door.

"See you soon Alice." Bella said, following me out of the house. "Happy Christmas."

Author's Notes: I tried to be quick honest! Hope you like it!


	15. Chapter 15

Author's Notes: You guys are amazing thanks for all the reviews! We've hit the 200 mark now! I'm so glad you're all enjoying and I hope you all continue to enjoy it!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the characters or make any money so please don't sue me.

Scars

Chapter 15

Check out the fanfic trailer at http:/ www . youtube . com /watch?v=cksSib4hk_U

Without the spaces obviously

Jasper POV

I had sent Alice a quick message to make sure that everyone had hunted very recently before we got on the plane. She assured me that they had and that Emmett and Edward were the last ones still out catching themselves their own Christmas dinner.

"Are you sure about this?" I asked Bella, once we had settled into our seats on the plane. She just nodded. "We can go another time."

"No, we're going now." She replied. "It'll be fine, Alice said so herself."

"Bella you know as well as anyone that Alice's visions aren't perfect." I sighed.

"You won't let anything happen to me." She said firmly. "We can't avoid the whole family forever. I don't want to avoid any of them."

"Not even Edward?" I asked.

"Not even Edward." She replied. Clearly I couldn't keep the worry from my face because she took my hand and added, "Edward's always going to be part of your family Jasper. This needs to be resolved as much as possible soon rather than later."

"You still love him?" I asked, right now I didn't care if I looked like a wounded puppy, Bella was all I cared about.

"I guess I do...but not like I love you." She replied quietly. "Jasper no one means as much to me as you do...you're like my best friend, like family and my boyfriend all rolled into one...you fixed me when I thought I was ruined forever."

It was probably the most sincere thing I'd ever heard someone say to me. I didn't know what to say in return. I pulled her against me and kissed her forehead softly.

"I'm so glad, beautiful." I murmured to her. "That's how it's supposed to be, you deserve nothing less."

And I meant every word; she deserved to be loved like that and more, and that really is how it's supposed to be...when you meet the perfect one for you. I held her close to me and breathed in her scent. Now that my thirst was under control most of the time I enjoyed Bella's scent so much more. In fact if we were in public and surrounded by humans, if I felt my thirst start to bother me I could usually breathe in Bella's scent to ease it because I knew I would do nothing to hurt her. I would always stop.

Bella POV

I was nervous as we got off of the plane. I tried to hide it from Jasper but probably failed miserably. Jasper took our bags and led the way off of the plane and through the airport.

"Ready?" he asked.

"Too late to chicken out now cowboy." I grinned. Only moments later I saw a huge figure heading my direction...fast.

"Bella!" Emmett roared, whisking me off of my feet and spinning me around in a huge bear hug. "Happy Christmas!"

"Erm...Happy Christmas Emmett." I choked.

"Now you know why I took the bags." Jasper teased.

"And there was me thinking you were being a gentleman." I replied. "Emmett not that I don't love you too but can you put me down now?"

"Sorry." He grinned sheepishly, placing my feet back on the floor and rubbing the back of his head. Then he turned to Jasper and picked him up in a bear hug too. Jasper just held the bags tight and waited for Emmett to finish.

"Put him down." Rosalie's chiming voice sighed, as she appeared beside us.

Rosalie was dressed from head to toe in white, tight white jeans tucked into white fluffy boots, white jumper with a huge thick woollen white scarf and white gloves. We looked like some ski holiday model. Emmett was somewhat less intimidating in his dark blue jeans, red t-shirt and black jacket.

"Come on, the others will be waiting." She said, as Emmett lowered Jasper to the floor.

"Alrighty let's go!" Emmett announced, lifting me up over his shoulder. "This way to the car."

"Emmett no!" I cried out, as he started marching towards the car park. "I can walk you know!"

"He's just missed you." Jasper commented.

Emmett finally deposited me in front of Rosalie's car. Luckily we didn't have too much luggage as the boot wasn't exactly huge. Jasper and I climbed into the back and Emmett and Rosalie the front.

I didn't dare comment on Rosalie's driving on the way, I was pretty sure she still hated me as it was.

"Before we go in could you do me a favour Emmett?" Jasper asked, as we pulled up a long driveway some time later.

"What is it bro?" Emmett grinned.

Jasper's reply was too low for me to hear and Rosalie had already assumed that he didn't need her so had already left the car.

Jasper POV

"If there's any trouble, if everyone's bloodlust gets out of control, if Bella cuts herself, if any tiny little incident happens that could cause her harm get her out." I said to Emmett, low enough that no one else could hear. "Everyone else can block me you just get her out and as far away as you can. Protect her with your life Emmett."

"Of course." He nodded. "But surely you and her don't seem to have a problem now..."

"I'm an empathy Emmett." I replied bluntly. "Would you like to feel bloodlust six times over." Emmett took the hint and we all got out of the car.

"I'll take the bags." Emmett said.

"Come on. Party time." I told Bella, taking her hand in mine.

As we stepped through the front door the family surrounded us instantly. Bella jumped a little next to me at their speed.

"Jasper, Bella." Carlisle greeted us, "Welcome." Carlisle took Bella's hands and placed a small kiss on her cheek before briefly embracing me and stepping back to allow Esme through.

"Jasper it's been too long!" Esme cried, throwing her arms around me tightly. Then she moved across to Bella. "Bella, we've missed you." She hugged Bella too, though not tightly to avoid breaking her.

"Happy Christmas Bella!" Alice grinned, hugging Bella and then me.

_i'm a human just like you  
full of doubt without a clue  
try and find a way to make it better_

I saw Bella's gaze fixed on the staircase and one figure in particular. I looked up at Edward standing there looking down at us. I could feel his pain. He looked awful, as awful as a vampire could get anyway. He had actually managed to grow stubble...although our hair did grown it usually took forever to do so, he must have left it a long time... His pale skin around his eyes was dark and almost sunken. Even his clothes were a mess. Bella saw it too...she felt almost sorry for him, I could feel her sadness.

_i'm a curse and so are you  
not so rich and not too smooth  
help me find a way to make it better  
_

"Bella." He said quietly, coming down the stairs towards us. "Could we talk for a moment..." My grip on Bella's hand tightened.

"He won't hurt her Jasper." Alice said softly, "You come wait with me and Esme in the kitchen."

"Alright, but only if that's what Bella wants." I replied, glancing to Bella almost hoping she said no. It must have shown on my face because she leant up to place a light kiss on my cheek before letting go of my hand.

"I'm just be a minute." She told me, backing towards Edward at the bottom of the stairs. Edward looked as if he were going to lead her upstairs but obviously heard my thoughts and changed his mind instead he lead her through to the music room to our left.

If he hurt her in any way, if he said one word out of line...God be damned I would send him to hell myself. Bella followed him confidently, head high. I relaxed a little. She would be just fine.

_staying in, going mad  
made a choice, won't look back  
its just another day, and i'm still breathing  
_

Author's Notes: I know it's short and I'm sorry but I figured short is better than none. The lyrics are from Flashlight Brown's I'm a human and are meant to be kind of from Bella's perspective. More to come soon as Bella and Edward have _the chat_ and then everyone starts present giving :D


	16. Chapter 16

Author's Notes: You guys are amazing thanks for all the reviews! We've hit the 200 mark now! I'm so glad you're all enjoying and I hope you all continue to enjoy it!

Special Thanks to JenJenSon for being my beta for this!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the characters or make any money so please don't sue me.

Scars

Chapter 16

Check out the fanfic trailer at http:/ www . youtube . com /watch?v=cksSib4hk_U

Without the spaces obviously

Bella POV

_Yesterday I died, tomorrow's bleeding  
Fall into your sunlight  
The future's open wide beyond believing  
To know why hope dies  
_

As I stood in front of Edward I could see now that he had loved me. He hadn't left me because he didn't want me. What Jasper had told me was right, all this time he had left because he thought that it was best for me.

Unfortunately for Edward...it was too late. I was eighteen and he should have let me make my own choices. Whether he was centuries old or not, I needed to learn for myself.

"Bella don't do this." He spoke; he looked like he was in pain. "Don't stay here..."

"You can't tell me what to do." I said calmly.

"Bella, I don't want you to get hurt." He said, taking my hands.

"Then trust me, I can't walk away." I replied. "Jasper is my best friend, I love him."

_Losing what was found, a world so hollow  
Suspended in a compromise  
The silence of this sound is soon to follow  
Somehow sundown_

"He shouldn't have gotten involved with you to start with." Edward muttered, dropping my hands and turning away.

"If he hadn't, I'd be dead." I replied bluntly. "You aren't the only vampires out there Edward and you always said I was a danger magnet."

"Yes." He smiled slightly. "Bella, Jasper nearly killed you."

"He didn't even come close." I insisted. "He didn't even bite me, I was the one who cut myself...both times."

"He's dangerous." Edward said, grabbing my hands again. "This is exactly what I left to protect you from..."

_And finding answers  
Is forgetting all of the questions we called home  
Passing the graves of the unknown_

"What?" I asked.

"I left Forks, got the whole family to leave to prevent this from happening and then it happens anyway." He sighed.

"You knew?" I asked, snatching my hands from his.

"Alice." He shrugged.

"You knew and instead you leave telling me that you didn't want me? Edward I thought your entire family hated what I'd put them through, hated me...I thought I was worthless, inadequate and unlovable...do you have any idea what you caused?" I cried. Tears splashed on the carpet as I lost my temper. "Charlie is dead! Did you realise that? Victoria and Laurent came back for me, mate for mate only they got Charlie first! Jacob was hurt trying to protect me! If you had stayed none of this would have happened!"

Edward looked like someone had struck him. I realised then that he didn't know. Jasper was by my side now and the rest of the family had appeared in the room too.

"Is that what you told her?" Alice asked Edward breaking the silence. "You told her you didn't want her anymore?"

"I told you to tell her the truth!" Rosalie hissed.

"He told you?" Jasper asked.

"I overheard." Rosalie replied.

"No one told me!" Jasper protested.

_As reason clouds my eyes, with splendor fading  
Illusions of the sunlight  
And the reflection of a lie will keep me waiting  
Love gone for so long_

"I couldn't tell you, it was supposed to be a surprise but then Edward decided we all had to leave." Alice explained. "To start with I objected but then I saw everything work out fine so I agreed."

"I wondered why you changed your mind." Carlisle mused.

"Oh Bella I'm sorry...I didn't see anything about Victoria coming back..." Alice said quietly.

"I did it because I love you and I didn't want you to get sucked into our world." Edward said suddenly. "I still love you Bella it kills me to think of what could happen if you stay with my family."

"I love you Edward...but I'm sorry...Jasper is my family now...he's everything to me." I replied.

"You're my everything too Bella." Jasper whispered to me, wrapping his arms around me. "You really brightened up my...existence."

"Can I have a minute?" I asked quietly, "I feel like such an idiot."

"No, I'll go and cool down." Edward said. "I'll come back later, don't wait for me Esme; please carry on."

And just like that Edward Cullen left me standing speechless again.

Jasper POV

I took Bella's hand and calmed her. I felt her relax and she looked up at me gratefully. I knew she didn't like me manipulating her but I was pretty sure she didn't want to have her emotional rollercoaster in front of my family.

Everyone headed into the family room. I wasn't surprised to see that Alice and Esme had arranged a huge tree and decorations.

"I know how to cheer you up Bells, here!" Emmett said cheerily, passing me an enormous box.

"Really...you didn't have to..." she protested.

"Come on open it!" Emmett boomed. Bella gave in and pulled the ribbon off of the box and pulled of the lid. Then a grin broke out on her face as she pulled out a huge white fluffy teddy bear.

"Thank you." She told him.

"So that when you go back home you won't miss me!" Emmett said, winking at her.

"Here Em." I said, passing Emmett the present from Bella and I. Emmett hurriedly torn away the paper and looked at the box in delight.

"A new games console! You guys are awesome!" he grinned.

"There's a catch" I told him. "Bella picked it so she'll tell you..."

"I can play against you and you can't cheat." Bella told him smugly. Emmett's eyebrows rose in confusion. "If you move the controllers too quick the sensor won't work! You have to go human speed!"

Everyone laughed aloud at this.

"Jasper I think you should go next." Alice said, looking pointedly at me. Suddenly I felt nervous.

"Erm sure..." I said, lifting the box from under the tree. "Bella?"

"Hey it's not my turn again yet." Bella protested.

"Bella we all have loads of stuff, you're the one we could all buy stuff for." Alice spoke up.

"Yeah have you ever tried buying for Alice..." Rosalie smirked. Everyone chuckled and then looked back towards me. Instantly the nerves were back.

"Bella...you deserve so much more than I could give you but...this is all I can give to you..." I told her, handing her the box.

"You already got me something Jasper." Bella insisted. "And I already have you."

"And you'll always have me...if you want me that is." I told her, leaning over to lift the lid off of the box. I heard Bella suck in a breath and then silence was deafening.

"Breathe Bella." Alice whispered. Bella let out her breath and her eyes darted to mine questioningly.

"Bella you're all I want, the only thing I need by my side for forever, if that's what you want or for a long time if not...please say yes?" I said, running my hand along her jaw. Inside I was mentally kicking myself for not planning exactly what to say. I didn't want to say anything to stupid and sappy but just saying 'marry me, Bella' was just so unoriginal. Then again maybe it was safer than my randomly spluttered words...

Bella POV

I couldn't talk. I hadn't expected this. I mean I was quite willing to change and spend an eternity with Jasper but I hadn't actually thought about whether we would get married or not. It didn't seem to matter if we were going to spend forever together...and I'd never been big on marriage. I was never that girl...but I guess that I just had reservations after my parent's divorce...but then I realised that this was him asking me if I wanted him forever. I remembered Edward's words, "don't do this". Edward knew...no wonder he was so upset about the whole thing. I guess sometimes it was a curse to be able to hear other people's thoughts.

I glanced down at the ring sat in the box. The band was gold, with prongs that held an amethyst stone in the centre and either side of the gem there were a few vines engraved into the band. It was beautiful...

_Cause you're all I want, You're all I need  
You're everything,everything  
You're all I want your all I need  
You're everything, everything.  
_

The one thing that made my answer easy was that it was Jasper asking it. I heard Alice's squeal of excitement as I opened my mouth to speak.

"Do I have to put it on myself?" I asked. Jasper met my gaze looking somewhat shocked. He quickly took the ring from the box and I gave him my hand to slide the ring onto my finger. He looked at it for a moment and so did I. I was his now, but then in my heart I'd been his for some time.

"You've made me one happy man." He murmured, his lips against mine.

"Congrats bro!" Emmett cheered, smacking Jasper on the back. "Welcome to the family sis!" I blushed slightly.

The family instantly crowded around us. I had thought that it would be more awkward than it was. It should be Alice by Jasper's side and me here with Edward but instead somehow when everything had seemed so wrong...we had found each other and everything had become so right.

"Promise me you won't rush..." Rosalie's voice said, as she came to take her turn to congratulate us. "Think about everything you'll give up before you do the forever part."

"I promise." I told her. "There's no rush..."

After everyone calmed down the present giving resumed and now I knew why Alice had made Jasper go first. Esme and Carlisle gave me a charm to add to my bracelet, a charm of the Cullen's family crest. Alice gave me a set of matching white lace underwear that had me red from head to foot after I opened them in front of everyone. Rosalie gave me a book, a wedding planning and memories book.

Jasper and I had gotten Esme shatter proof glassware...whilst we knew it probably still wouldn't be safe from Emmett she appreciated the gesture. Alice and Rosalie each had tickets for a trip to Paris so that they could have a shopping weekend. The gift list went on and the tension from a few hours ago was forgotten. It felt like a real family.

"Bella, Edward's outside...you should go talk to him." Alice said softly.

"She already did that Alice and look what happened." Jasper hissed.

"I'll be just a minute." I said, turning to leave the room.

"Bella..." Jasper said in a strained voice. He looked like he was going to say don't go but he seemed to change his mind. "Do you want one of us to go with you?"

"I'll be fine." I replied, but I could see the struggle on his face. "How about Emmett waits at the front door for me just in case? That'd probably make us all feel more comfortable."

"Thanks darlin'." He murmured. Emmett and I went to the front door and I left Emmett there to go to Edward. I couldn't see him at first. Then he came out from the trees.

"Come back and join your family for Christmas Edward." I told him.

"I'd bet that they're all pretty...displeased with me about now." He replied, coming closer. For a moment it felt like time hadn't passed at all and I was back in Forks with Edward Cullen walking up to me. Only this time whilst I felt for him...it wasn't attraction and love. It was just...friendship, family maybe.

_And I've lost who I am  
And I can't understand  
Why my heart is so broken  
Rejecting your love  
Without love gone wrong  
LifeLess words Carry on  
_

"Edward, I'm sorry that things have turned out this way...that you..."

"Still love you?" he asked.

_But I know  
All I know  
Is that the ends beginning_

"Edward please, I care about you and..." I didn't know what to say to make him understand that I just didn't want any more fighting. "Jasper and I didn't come here to tear the family apart again Edward. We both care about you and...I understand if you don't feel comfortable around us. If it's too hard right now then we can leave."

Edward was silent for a long time. I almost chickened out and ran back inside but I didn't. Edward pulled me to him and wrapped his arms around me.

"Bella, I'm sorry I said I didn't want you. I'm sorry about Charlie." He whispered. "If you can forgive me I'll be a part of your life however you will have me, even if it is a little awkward for a while."

"Thank you." I breathed, and then the tears fell.

_All this time spent in vain  
Wasted years  
Wasted gain  
All is lost  
Hope remains  
And this war's not over_

"Unless of course you'd like to change your mind and marry me instead?" he teased.

"Edward Cullen!" I chided, wiping my tears.

"I didn't think so." He sighed. "He really loves you..."

"I know." I sighed happily, hugging Edward tight against me. "Is this where you do the whole if he ever hurts you speech?"

"If he did he'd be an idiot. Emmett looks about ready to kill _me_ right now. Can you imagine what he'd do if someone actually hurt you?" Edward chuckled. I let him go and turned to look back at Emmett and warmth filled me. I headed back to the front door, Edward following a little bit behind me.

_There's a light, There's the sun  
Taking all the shattered ones  
To the place we belong  
And his love will conquer all  
_

As I reached the front door Emmett grinned.

"He's right you know. Edward or Jasper, hell if anyone hurts you they're a dead man." Emmett said. I smiled softly and tucked myself under his arm to hug around his waist. "You ok?"

"It's nothing." I said, looking up at him. Then I snuggled further into his side. "You're just the big brother I always wanted."

Author's Notes: well what do you think? I tried to make this one longer to make up for the short one. The lyrics are from Shattered by Trading Yesterday and Everything by Lifehouse which seem to be the stories theme songs :D. Hope you enjoyed.


	17. Chapter 17

Author's Notes: Wow thanks to all those who have read and reviewed! I hope you continue to enjoy as we head towards the last few chapters of the story...I think anyway unless I get carried away!

Once again my beta JenJenSon deserves a round of applause for her help to make my writing makes sense!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the characters or make any money so please don't sue me.

Scars

Chapter 17

Check out the fanfic trailer at http:/ www . youtube . com /watch?v=cksSib4hk_U

Without the spaces obviously

Jasper POV

I managed to pry Bella away from my family some time later that evening after Esme had finished feeding Bella every Christmas related food she could have thought of; from roast meats to Christmas puddings and chocolates.

Esme had even made us try the beef she cooked. Then again, if I was honest it was quite rare in the middle so it didn't taste all that bad. Unfortunately I just had to hope I ate little enough that my venom would break it down or I'd have to make myself sick but it kept Esme happy and Bella had gotten quite a few laughs at some of our faces.

Bella and I took a walk away from the house into the small wooded area around it. It was a very clear night tonight and Bella seemed comforted that even she could see in the dark tonight.

"It's a beautiful house..." Bella commented, as we wandered.

"It's...a family relic I believe." I told her, knowing that the family had lived here before.

"Not that I don't like yours of course." She added.

"Ours." I corrected, taking her left hand in mine to enforce my meaning. Bella closed her eyes and sighed as a cooled breeze blew her hair back from her face. I couldn't help but admire every part of her in that moment. She was beautiful...and she was mine.

Bella POV

As I opened my eyes, I met Jasper's intense gaze. I could feel his warmth and love for me as strongly as I felt my own for him and smiled contentedly knowing he felt the same way that I did. I had known that he loved me before today, I had known that he wanted me and he had already told me that he would either change me himself or if he was unable then he would ask Carlisle to change me if it was what I wanted...I just hadn't expected him to officially ask me to marry him...to be his mate. Fortunately the love and joy in his golden eyes told me he had meant every word.

I reached my free hand up to touch my fingers to his face; so smooth and cool. His eyes slid closed under my touch as he released my hand and moved his arms around my waist. When his eyes opened I could see that they had darkened, I saw the spark of lust in him and instantly the air around us grew heavy, charged. I didn't put up a fight and offered no resistance as he pulled me against his body and lowered his lips to mine.

Our kiss was slow, savouring the sensations of each other. I was so drunk on his kisses that I wished I didn't have to breathe. He grazed my bottom lip with his sharp teeth, so careful and restrained not to break my skin. I moaned and pressed my mouth more forcefully against his, as he started grinding his hard body against mine. I gasped a little as my actions caused his sharp teeth to cut my tongue ever so slightly. I didn't feel anything more than a tiny sting before I was lost in kissing him again, but his loud groan told me there was blood...after all he would be able to taste even the tiniest drop. Suddenly he pulled away from me and I had to suppress a whimper at the loss.

"Sorry." He said quickly. "I just need a minute." I just nodded unable to trust my words to come out without sounding either hurt and desperate or turned on and desperate.

Jasper POV

I enjoyed her blood almost as much as I enjoyed the feel of her lust and desire as she pressed up against me. God I could only imagine what taking her to bed would feel like, feeling her pleasure alongside my own... I had to fight the shiver that ran through my body at the thought.

"Where were we?" I asked her, placing my hands on her hips and tugging her back to me before placing a soft kiss on her lips. I frowned a little as I pulled away, I could feel her guilt. "Bella, stop it."

"Sorry." She replied, a blush creeping into her cheeks. "I just...lost control?" I chuckled at that, at least I could relate to the feeling.

"I'm glad. That's how it's supposed to be." I told her. "It's just a little more difficult for us."

"I know." She sighed. "I just...want you." I practically choked hearing those words coming from her mouth. I leant down so that my lips hovered just above hers.

"I want you too darlin'." I murmured, before pressing my lips against hers, and delighting in the wave of arousal I caused.

"Does that mean when we get back home you want your other Christmas Present?" she whispered.

"What is it?" I asked.

"A surprise." She grinned.

"A good one?"

"I certainly hope so." She replied.

"Then I will definitely want it." I smiled, placing my arm around her shoulders and walking with her by my side. "So when I do get you down the aisle where did you want to live?"

"Aren't choices rather limited due to weather issues?" she asked. "Where we live now is fine."

"There are loads of choices Bella...we could travel the world if you wanted." I told her. I felt rather elated at the thought. I knew I was acting a little bit like Emmett but I didn't care, Bella just had that affect on me sometimes.

"Well, if we're going to have forever we might as well." She grinned at me.

"Speaking of travelling did you have any preference for a honeymoon?" I asked her. I had a few ideas, particularly if Esme would lend me her island. Maybe I could buy one of our own...if I could find an available island of course. In fact maybe we should just spend our first few years of married life on an island with no one else around.

"I hadn't really thought about that...again wouldn't there be weather issues." She replied. "Besides if we're going to have forever to travel the world we don't have to have a honeymoon."

"Bella, a honeymoon is not for travelling." I told her, tugging her into the house. I felt her embarrassment and excitement at the idea though.

Bella POV

Well I should have known that I was never going to get away with a small wedding marrying a Cullen. After all Alice was involved so nothing would be small. Jasper had only asked me to marry him yesterday and before the day was over Alice had already been trying to discuss plans with me. I leant back into the seat of the truck and closed my eyes. I love the Cullen's so much but I was tired now. I guess since they don't sleep I stayed up later than I should have. I smiled to myself, at least I would be home soon. Yesterday was a long day and I really needed a bit of relaxation time, just Jasper and I.

"What are you smiling about?" I heard him ask.

"Quiet." I grinned, not opening my eyes. He chuckled in response knowing exactly what I meant.

"You know she'll be on the phone about plans all the time." He told me.

"I know." I groaned, opening my eyes to look at him pleadingly.

"Way to make a guy feel wanted Bella." He smirked.

"I want to marry you Jasper. I really do." I told him honestly. "I just...I want to be able to think of it as our wedding not Alice's."

"I know, I was teasing." He said, taking my hand in his. "How about we ignore the whole topic for at least a week and just enjoy the fact that one day soon you'll be my wife?"

"Please." I nodded. That was a perfect idea. The curious thing was that I had noticed Jasper seemed rather excited about calling me his future wife. Why was marrying me so exciting? Not that I minded of course and I was thrilled myself that he wanted to marry me but he had done all of this before. I hadn't.

"What's the matter?" he asked me.

"Nothing." I lied. He didn't believe me. "I was just wondering why you were so excited? You've done it all already." Jasper started laughing aloud at this as he stopped the truck and got out. Before I even undid my belt the door was open for me. Jasper was still grinning. "Why is that funny?"

"Firstly Bella, I should be excited that the woman I love wants to spend forever with me." He grinned. "Secondly...I didn't do all of it before. I was always the weak link in the family so when Alice and I first joined them we couldn't go out enough to find a location and plan a wedding. So although we were together a long time as if we were husband and wife we never did the official bit."

"Oh..." was all that came out of my mouth in response.

"Can I not be excited at the thought of making a beautiful woman mine?" he asked. I felt slightly embarrassed, I was always so used to feeling inadequate before I met Jasper. If it weren't for the fact that he projected sometimes I would probably feel somewhat inadequate next to Jasper sometimes...but I didn't. I knew everything he said was true.

"I guess when you put it like that..." I smiled.

I looked at the house as we approached the front door. This house felt so much like home...I didn't think I wanted to move somewhere else until we had to for time reasons. I could happily spend years in this small house with Jasper. It was simple and homely, almost like Jasper himself. Everything about Jasper seemed so normal, Emmett and Jasper were the two of the family that didn't seem bothered by expensive things. They would probably rather live like they had little money and be happier for it.

After all Jasper had loads of money I was sure and yet he hadn't brought a huge house that was decorated like something in a catalogue. He didn't buy designer clothes or stupidly expensive cars. Whilst his truck was far newer and nicer than mine it was certainly not in a ridiculous price bracket. In fact the only time he ever seemed to spend lots of money was when he was buying me things...like the wardrobe and laptop when I moved in.

"Do you want to lie down for a little while?" Jasper asked. "Yesterday was probably a long day for you." I smiled softly, and placed a kiss on his cheek. He hadn't said 'you should lie down' he had asked me. He had no idea how perfect he was.

"My duvet sounds pretty appealing right now." I agreed, hanging my jacket on the hook. "Are you going to hunt?"

"No. I think I might get a book and then come sit with you." He said thoughtfully. "I could do with feeling some of that lovely calm about now too."

"What are we going to do when neither of us can sleep?" I asked him, as I headed up the stairs. Actually I don't think I wanted an answer to that...I was sure he could think of plenty of things to occupy our time when I was no longer breakable. I'd be lying if I said that wouldn't be my first idea too.

Author's Notes: Just a little insight into the Bella and Jasper feelings on getting married. Lots of excitement and sauciness to come so don't forget to leave a little review and of course come back for more! xx


	18. Chapter 18

Author's Notes: Blimey! I can't believe how popular this story is getting. I'm so glad! And I hope that when this one is done you will all look at the new stories I'll be starting after this. And credit to cjmobxnc for bringing the song to my attention for this chapter. The song is Making Memories of us by Keith Urban.

Thanks again to JenJenSon for being my beta for this story.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the characters or make any money so please don't sue me.

Scars

Chapter 18

Check out the fanfic trailer at http:/ www . youtube . com /watch?v=cksSib4hk_U

Without the spaces obviously

Bella POV

I woke up a few hours later and stretched out my muscles. I smiled at Jasper sat up against the headboard next to me with his book in hand.

"Mornin' beautiful." He said, without looking from his page.

_I'm gonna be here for you baby  
And I'll be a man of my word_

_Speak the language in a voice that you have never heard  
_

"You can't have been reading that book the whole time I've been asleep." I accused.

"No, I spent most of the time holding you. You make me warm..." he said quietly, closing his book and placing it on the bedside table before leaning down to place a soft kiss on my lips.

"I know. After a few minutes of being in bed with you it's easy to forget you're a vampire at all because you don't feel cold anymore." I agreed. Jasper chuckled and was suddenly over me leaning his face very close to mine.

"I hope that's not the only reason you'd forget I was a vampire within a few minutes of being in bed with me." His voice was low and husky, his accent slipping out thick rather than just the normal hint of it. "I'd be insulted otherwise."

I couldn't breathe let alone think of a coherent response. His lips hovering over mine so close was entirely too distracting to think. Then his hands slid their way under my shirt across my stomach lifting it as he went. I blushed but allowed him to pull my vest over my head and off leaving my top half bare to him. I saw his gaze drift away from my face downwards and felt my blush increase.

"Bella." He chided, picking up my nervousness. He moved and I felt his cool breath caress the skin of my stomach, punctuated by butterfly kisses that sent shivers across me. His hands brushed across my hips and gripped slightly as he ran his tongue across my stomach and upwards. An involuntary whimper escaped my lips before a moan was torn from me when his lips closed around one nipple. He didn't linger there for long before his lips trailed upwards kissing at my neck and collarbone.

"Jasper..." I barely recognised my own voice, my heart was pounding, I was hot and breathless and wanted him more than ever. His fingers slipped behind my head, into my hair and then we were kissing as if our very existence depended on it.

My body was screaming for air but my mind was screaming; no, it's not possible to need anything more than Jasper's kisses right now. Reluctantly we broke apart. I opened my eyes and met his. His dark eyes, alight with desire...desire for me. That itself felt like the most empowering thing in the world.

"Bella...darlin' I don't know if-" he started, but I was done waiting.

"I know you can." I interrupted, grabbing handfuls of his shirt to pull his lips back to mine. I gradually released his shirt as my hands moved to his stomach to lift it from him.

"The blood..." He protested as his shirt hit the floor. I already knew that but if we didn't even try...then I would break inside anyway. I ignored his words and kissed him in response.

"That's not a problem." I replied, or I was pretty sure it wasn't anyway. I was pretty certain that my hymen had been broken long ago from either ballet or from my own attempts at release. I didn't really want to explain any of that in detail right now though.

Jasper pulled back from my lips and started kissing my stomach again. Then I felt him tug at my pj shorts moments before cold hands skid across my bare skin. I was naked but no longer nervous. Whilst I didn't know how anyone could do this with anything less than one hundred percent love and devotion from their partner I now knew that I had that from Jasper so...there was nothing to be afraid of.

I sat up so that I could reach his shorts and quickly pulled them down so that we were both left with nothing between us. I knelt up to kiss him again and felt him hard and cold against my stomach, thrills shot through me knowing that I caused him to feel this way. I felt wanted, I felt loved and I felt good enough.

My confidence wavered a split second later when he moved away from me though. He must have instantly sensed it because he just chuckled as he settled with his legs out in front of him and his back against the headboard and reached his hand out to me.

"Come here darlin'" he murmured, as he lifted me onto his lap. His lips moved over mine again, slower this time. He shifted me until I felt him easing into me. I gasped at the coldness of it. He stopped, keeping his hands on my hips but relaxing his grip slightly.

"Jasper please..." I whimpered into his kiss.

"If you want me darlin', I'm all yours." He murmured against my lips. "Take me." God, him talking like that was enough to make me want to just slam myself onto him but I figured that may hurt considering how solid vampires were in every part of their bodies anyway. I did lower myself onto him though just slow enough not to hurt me. I practically stopped breathing as I stretched around him until I stopped sat on his lap. I stared into his eyes and leant into him to kiss him. I couldn't help the sense of achievement that I felt. Not just for me but for him too. He was in control enough for us to do this. I felt him begin to move me over him and thought became impossible.

"Breathe Bella." He whispered in my ear, before his lips found my neck. I let out a moan as I began to try and meet his movements. It wasn't long before our pace increased and we lost ourselves in the pleasure of the moment. I knew Jasper was losing control of his gift because he was projecting. "God Bella." He pulled me closer against him still, my breasts crushed against his solid chest, his eyes burning into mine in a possessive way that only made me want him more. Our movements were faster now and less controlled. I felt my stomach tighten and a tingling start inside me before Jasper caught my chin with his hand.

"I want to be kissing you when I come inside you." He growled huskily at me. The moment the words left his lips mine were on his again and I groaned loudly into his mouth as the pleasure took me. Just when the waves started to ease I felt Jasper starting to shudder slightly as his own release hit him.

We sat like that for some time afterwards. My face buried in his neck while I desperately tried to remember how to breathe. My eyes were closed and I just lay there but I felt Jasper kissing the side of my face and head gradually being my back to earth.

"I love you Jasper." I said to him, wrapping my arms around his waist and snuggling against him. At least that's what I thought I said but I'm not sure because I was suddenly feeling tired again.

"I love you too." He replied, wrapping his arms tighter around me. "Ssh...just rest for a bit. I'm not going anywhere."

Jasper manoeuvred us until we were lying again and wrapped the duvet tightly around us so I wouldn't get cold. I don't think I could ever be happier than I am right now, curled up against Jasper drifting off to sleep a very satisfied and happy woman.

"We've got all of forever." I heard him say before everything went black.

_I wanna sleep with you forever  
And I wanna die in your arms  
In a cabin by a meadow where the wild beasts warm_

Jasper POV

Bella was now reaching the end of her first year of college and between us we had started to actually plan our future. We had decided that Bella would finish college after her first year and take a couple of years break for the wedding and everything or maybe a decade or so break depending on if she decided that now was the time she wanted to change.

I had been reigning in Alice as much as possible with every step of the wedding plans. Bella had said that she wanted to remember the wedding as ours not us getting married at the wedding Alice planned and so I had been working very hard to make sure Alice allowed that.

I glanced across at her, still sound asleep next to me. I loved lying in bed with her every night...being an empath if I focused on her enough I actually felt like I was sleeping sometimes. It was as close as I would ever get...I had to admit I would miss it when she changed.

I leant down to inhale her scent and nuzzled her hair.

"la maldición del dios que huelen bien..." I murmured, as she stirred under me.

"Morning to you too." She mumbled. I lifted her chin so that I could kiss her. I had been waiting for the past hour knowing she was close to waking so that I could kiss her. Every night I spent next to her warmth, feeling her love and happiness, even her desire...it drove me crazy. I wanted so badly to wake her and have my way with her but I knew that firstly she needed sleep and secondly she wasn't driving me crazy on purpose.

"Morning beautiful." I said against her lips. I rolled onto my back pulling her with me so that she landed lying across me. Nothing could be better than looking up at the angel on top of me right now...save maybe if she were wearing less clothes and straddling my waist of course... I groaned at the thought.

"Erm...good morning is it?" Bella asked me, a blush creeping onto her face. I realised what she meant and had the grace to look at least a little embarrassed.

"ver lo que haces a mí?" I asked her. "que me vuelves loco cariño..."

"Me alegro de..." she said softly, leaning down to kiss my shocked face. Since when had Bella spoken Spanish? And spoken it well?

"How long have you spoken Spanish?" I asked her.

"A while...my Mom taught me when I was little...I don't even know how she knew it. Some of it just stuck." She shrugged.

"That's more than some." I chuckled.

"What about you?" she asked, sitting up so that she straddled my waist and placing her hands on my chest.

"A lot of people in Texas speak Spanish...after all it was part of the United Mexican States until 1836 so as you can imagine in my time there were still a lot of people of Mexican decent in the county." I explained.

"It's kind of sexy you know." She grinned, running her fingers across my skin. "Then again I think that accent of yours wins every time." I smirked and leant up to steal a kiss only to have her dodge me. I caught her chin and kissed her before leaning back on my elbows to look at her. Suddenly I felt something from her...excitement? Suspense maybe? Curiosity...no more like devious...calculating.

I took in a sharp breath as I felt her tongue draw across my hip above my shorts.

"Bella..." I warned her. But she didn't listen to a word. Her fingers curled around the waist of my shorts and sure enough moments later she knelt looking at me. I knew that in the past when we had gotten caught up in moments of passion she had snuck a few glimpses before but I had never allowed her to touch for fear that I would lose control and end up with her on her back in seconds and end up out of control. Then again if we could now be together physically most nights as long as I had hunted enough so I probably had much more control than I thought I did but I just never wanted to take the risk with Bella.

I should though. Now that we had overcome most of the obstacles in our way I should try to relax and try to make this relationship almost no different from a human one. The only catch is having to make sure I'm kissing her when I finish. If I'm not kissing her I want to bite her, mark her as mine and had so far destroyed a few pillows before I learnt that kissing her was the best option to avoid it.

For now on I promised myself to relax and try to enjoy having very few limits in our relationship. Bella would have everything she wanted, deserved and more.


	19. Chapter 19

Author's Notes: Well I'm hoping to get this all wrapped up over the next week because I have a bit more time and only a few chapters to go. Exciting! Hope you're all enjoying still and continue with me through to the final chapters of Bella and Jasper's journey. My story Hideaway has 321 reviews for its 19 chapters and it would be great if by the end of this story we could beat that. We're on 270 so we're really close guys! The song is called Keep Holding On by Avril Lavigne (also on Glee) I thought it captured the family and friends spirit.

As always many thanks to my beta JenJenSon!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the characters or make any money so please don't sue me.

Scars

Chapter 19

Check out the fanfic trailer at http:/ www . youtube . com /watch?v=cksSib4hk_U

Without the spaces obviously

Jasper POV

This was it. I looked out of the plane window at the empty dark before looking back at Bella lying against my side with her book.

"You're nervous." I observed.

"Aren't you?" she asked.

"Maybe a little I suppose..." I replied, dropping my arm over her shoulders.

"Besides, I'm not nervous about marrying you I'm nervous about the wedding." She grinned.

"You'll love it." I replied.

_You're not alone, together we stand  
I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand_

"I can't believe we're going to Texas to get married." She chuckled. "So much for low profile."

"We'll just wait until the sun starts to go down. Trust me Bella it'll be perfect." I told her.

"Of course it will." A chirpy voice appeared behind us.

"Alice?" Bella exclaimed, sitting bolt upright. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here for you of course." She replied. Just then Edward appeared behind her and I look up at him in confusion.

"It's bad luck for you guys to see each other before the wedding on the wedding day and it's nearly midnight." He said.

"But that means we have to be apart all day!" Bella protested, looking up at me expecting me to say something but I didn't.

"But then you're going on your honeymoon for several months of alone time, I'm sure you can manage a day." Alice said rolling her eyes. "Come on, we're going to our seats in first class." With that Bella was tugged from my arms, I narrowed my eyes at Alice and she dropped Bella's hand for a moment.

_When it gets cold, And it feels like the end  
There's no place to go, You know I won't give in ...No I won't give in  
_

"I'll see you in about eighteen hours darlin'." I told Bella, leaning up to kiss her.

Bella POV

We had left Jasper and Edward and Alice had dragged me to first class. Like we could possibly have any bad luck now but I guess I didn't want to take the chance and it was tradition after all. Now I would just start counting down the time until I saw Jasper again...standing with a minister...

"So I was thinking about the whole luck thing and we need to decide your something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue..." Alice said, her singsong voice bringing me out of my thoughts. I looked up at her and she just smiled at me. "Of course...you're probably very tired, get some rest we've got all day tomorrow to sort it before the wedding."

When the plane landed first class got off first so I didn't see Jasper or Edward. Once we got through the airport the rest of the family greeted us. Emmett launched himself at me in a huge bear hug.

_Keep holding on  
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through_

"Bella!" he grinned, spinning me around before he put me down again.

"Hey." I greeted everyone, feeling a little embarrassed.

"We'd best hurry, Jasper and Edward will be heading out soon." Rosalie said, climbing into a blue sports car behind them.

"Alright, Bella we'll see you later." Carlisle told me, as Esme and Alice bundled me into the car.

"It's the big day, Bella." Esme smiled, as we pulled onto the highway. "Are you nervous?"

"A little." I admitted. "I just want to be married, can't we fast-forward the whole thing until the wedding is over?"

"So eager for the honeymoon." Rosalie smirked. I felt my blood rush to my face.

"That wasn't exactly what I meant..." I replied uneasily.

"Don't worry Bella, the wedding isn't that big at all. Just the family plus a few old friends I promise." Alice replied. "Jasper was very strict on that." I smiled to myself, he really was too good to me.

"We're here!" Rosalie said suddenly, as we pulled up the long driveway towards the house. It was still pretty dark outside which was obviously a good thing with vampires arriving but even in the dark the sight took my breath away. Grass, trees and gardens as far as I could see and at the end of the long driveway stood a huge white building with stairs up to the main door, balconies across every front window and huge white pillars.

"Perfect, Jasper and Edward will arrive just before sun up." Alice said happily. "Let's get inside and get Bella to bed...I doubt those few hours sleep on the plane are going to be enough."

We left the car out the front and headed inside and straight upstairs. I followed Alice into the huge bedroom and Esme and Rosalie came in behind me.

"I don't really feel like sleeping right now." I said, sitting on the bed next to Alice who already sat cross-legged in the middle of it.

"Here Bella." Alice said softly, placing her hand in mine. When she moved her hand I saw her choker sat in my hand. "Something borrowed." She winked. I threw my arms around her and felt tears threatening to fall as she hugged me back. I was marrying her ex-boyfriend and she was so happy for me...if the roles were reversed and it had been her marrying Edward would I have been able to be happy for her? I shook my head...probably not. I would be happy for her but part of me would be hurt. Well, not now I wouldn't obviously because I no longer thought about Edward like that and what I have with Jasper is so much better but still. If I had run into her one day instead of Jasper and she had told me she was marrying Edward it would have been hard to be happy for her.

_Just stay strong  
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you  
_

"Thank you." I whispered. "For everything Alice, you didn't have to be such an amazing friend."

"Bella, I'm you sister." She replied. "I love you."

"This is all very heart warming but doesn't she need something old, new and blue or green or whatever?" Rosalie asked. Some things about Rosalie would never change. She would always act like she didn't care, but she did. She was loyal and if I was family she would always protect me and maybe one day we'd ever learn to love each other like sisters but for now I was happy knowing that she did care and if anyone tried to hurt me, she would always be there.

"Well new is easy, the dress and bouquet are both new, as are the shoes and the underwear..." Esme said. "Old is supposed to be from a bride's relative really but in these circumstances I do have an idea...if you like it that is." Esme went to the corner of the room and pulled a box out of a bag. "Brought this just in case, it may be a little old fashioned for you though..."

"Let me see?" I asked quietly. She came and sat on the bed and held the box out in front of me. I lifted the lid carefully and inside sat a thin white veil with white flowers embroidered around the edges.

"It's from mine and Carlisle's first wedding back in the nineteen twenties." Esme said fondly. "Rosalie used it for her and Emmett's first wedding too."

"Thank you...it's beautiful." I told her.

"Now we just need something blue...but it can't be anything too big because all the flowers and the ring and the choker are purple..." Alice said thoughtfully. Then she smiled to herself and looked at Rosalie who was also looking pretty thoughtful. "May as well make it a full set."

"I wish you wouldn't do that." Rosalie said, reaching for her bag. She rummaged around in her clothes for a moment before an object flew towards me. I looked at the offending garment that landed in my lap and blushed again. "I want it back." I looked at the deep blue and black lacy garter and then back to Rosalie.

"Of course." I replied. "Thanks."

_There's nothing you could say , Nothing you could do  
There's no other way when it comes to the truth  
_

"I guess I'm your sister now too." She shrugged awkwardly. I looked at her and smiled slightly, she was right. It may not have been easy, and it may not have been the way I had first thought but I was still getting the family I wanted all along.

_So keep holding on  
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through  
_

Jasper POV

We pulled up at the plantation just as the sky started growing paler and so headed inside immediately. I could smell Bella in the house; I could hear her heartbeat and her laughter upstairs with the others. I just wanted to go and curl up in bed with her but I knew that wouldn't be right.

"Come on Jasper." Carlisle said, placing his hand on my shoulder. "Let's go to the entertainment room and keep you out of the way of the bride." I nodded and followed him.

"Come on bro, I bet I beat ya!" Emmett said, clapping his hands together when he saw the Xbox on the TV stand. I wandered if the owner of the house would mind if Emmett accidently broke their Xbox, but I was sure if he broke it they wouldn't mind if we wrote them a cheque for the damage.

This was it, the start of mine and Bella's forever. Alice had told me she saw me happy and in love in my future and I hadn't believed her. I should have never doubted her.

Now I just had to kill the time until the wedding...

_Hear me when I say, when I say I believe  
Nothing's gonna change, nothing's gonna change destiny  
Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly  
_

An hour or so later the girls joined us downstairs, Bella had gone back to sleep for a few hours. As a vampire I had never known time to pass so slowly.

Sure enough Emmett broke the Xbox, so Carlisle called the owner of the house once it got to a decent hour of morning and told them to add the damage on the bill for the house and wedding. It wasn't long after that when there was knocking on the door...and an unpleasant smell.

Alice went to the door, the rest of us loitered curiously to see who or rather what it was.

"I'm glad you could come, Bella will be so happy." Alice said cheerily.

"I almost didn't." He replied, coldly. Clearly not all was forgiven from our leaving Forks.

"I'm just about to go check on Bella, come with me if you like." She said, not bothering to introduce him to the rest of us before they headed upstairs. Then in came another four. I looked over the three males and one female.

"Yuck!" the female said loudly, scrunching up her nose.

"Leah! Try not to offend too many people while I'm gone." The first called from the top of the stairs.

"Nice to meet you." Carlisle said, in his diplomatic voice offering out his hand.

"Embry Call." The guy announced, shaking his hand. "and this is Quil, we're Bella's friends from La Push. This is Jake's fiancée Leah and her little brother Seth. Everywhere Jake goes Leah goes and everywhere Leah goes Seth goes."

"Call me Carlisle." Carlisle replied. "This is my family. My wife Esme, Emmett, Edward and Rosalie, Alice who you just saw and this is Jasper the bride groom."

"You're the guy huh?" Embry grinned at me, smacking my shoulder. "Lucky man!"

Luckily with the exception of Leah and Rosalie everyone seemed to be civil to each other. Leah barely spoke to anyone and Rosalie just complained about the smell. Emmett however seemed to actually enjoy the werewolves' company. They were as big and lug headed as he was so there was plenty more damage to add to Carlisle's bill. Their presence however did make time go faster.

Bella POV

Alice cracked open the door to the bedroom only moments after I woke up. I had butterflies in my stomach but they were actually more from excitement than fear or nerves.

"Do you want some breakfast?" Alice asked.

"Not just yet thanks." I replied.

"You've got a visitor." Alice smiled.

"Really who?" I asked. Who would be visiting me here? It's not like my mum could come to a wedding full of vampires without even knowing I was dating someone...

"Hey Bells!" a familiar voice called. Sure enough a huge dark haired form came bounding into the room.

"Jacob!" I cried, leaping off of the bed and launching myself at his solid body. I didn't care that I was only in a pair of shorts and t-shirt and had bed hair, I hadn't seen Jacob in too long. "You're walking!"

_Keep holding on  
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through  
_

"And running." He said proudly. I shuddered with the memory of seeing Jacob in his wheelchair a few months after Victoria's attack. The doctors had said he probably wouldn't be in it forever but it would take a long time to recover. Sure enough he had recovered and now stood in front of me almost as if he hadn't been hurt at all. I felt the wetness of my tears against his shirt before I'd even realised I was crying.

"I've missed you." I sobbed.

"I've missed you too." He replied. He pulled back a little to look at me. "Is this really what you want Bella? Really?"

"Really." I nodded.

_Just stay strong  
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you  
_

"And you going to...be a real Cullen?" he asked me carefully.

"No I'm going to be a Whitlock." I replied. Then I nodded slowly. "But yes...some day." He nodded too. There wasn't much either of us could say to that. Vampires and Werewolves were enemies, it would ruin our friendship forever.

_There's nothing you could say  
Nothing you could do  
There's no other way when it comes to the truth  
_

"As much as I'd love to give you guys some catch up time...it's nearly eleven o'clock Bella we need to start getting you ready." Alice said quietly.

_So keep holding on  
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through  
_

Author's Notes: Well there's Wedding day part 1! Hope it doesn't sound too stupid. Not much further to go. Bella and Jasper's big moment is nearly here when they say "I do"!


	20. Chapter 20

Author's Notes: We're getting even closer to the end guys! Let's hear the enthusiasm! This is the penultimate chapter for the story. I hope you like it. The lyrics are from Jewel's – Ten.

As always thanks are in order to me beta JenJenSon so doing this for me.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the characters or make any money so please don't sue me.

Scars

Chapter 19

Check out the fanfic trailer at http:/ www . youtube . com /watch?v=cksSib4hk_U

Without the spaces obviously

Bella POV

I had never been so nervous. Alice and Rosalie had finished my hair, make-up and dress and now stood looking at my reflection as Rosalie fixed Esme's veil to my hair. I didn't think I could do this... The being tied to Jasper part didn't scare me, but walking into a room full of people all staring at me...I was going to trip over my dress.

"Bella?" Alice asked, her face filled with concerned suddenly. "Don't even think about running out on us."

_One, I still wanna hate you;  
Two, three, I still wanna leave;  
_

"Sorry Alice." I replied. "I just don't know if I can walk out there in front of everyone looking at me."

"Of course they're going to be looking at you Bella, you're beautiful." She exclaimed.

"No Alice, I'm not...you guys are just so-" I cried, tears springing to my eyes.

"Shut up already." Rosalie called across the room. "My brother is marrying you today end of discussion. He wants to marry you so any other problems are all your issues." I glanced over to her and our gazes met. "Besides, dressed like this...you're easily one of us." A small smile crept onto my face

_Four, searching for that door;  
Five, then I look into your eyes;  
_

"Thanks." I murmured, taking a deep breath. I let it out and stepped back from the mirror to look at my reflection again. Then there was a knock at the door. Emmett stuck his head in before coming into the room.

_Six, take a deep breath;  
Seven, take a step back;  
_

"You look great Bells." He said, hugging me tightly. Then he glanced at Rosalie. "We've got to go take our places outside."

"See you in a few minutes Bella." Rosalie said simply, following Emmett from the room.

"Are there going to be lots of people out there?" I asked.

"Does it matter?" Alice shot back. "Bella, the only person you need to focus on is Jasper, got it?"

I looked at the ring on my finger and stroked it tenderly. She was right. No one mattered but Jasper. As long as we were happy and we loved each other none of the other stuff mattered. I felt a wave of calm hit me from nowhere. I smiled to myself, Jasper knew I was nervous. He obviously really wanted me down that aisle.

_Eight, nine, I don't know why, we even started this fight;  
By the time I get to ten, I'm right back in your arms again.  
_

"I'm sorry Alice. You're right I'm being silly." I told her, hugging her.

"Alright, everyone's waiting. Jasper and Edward are in place with the minister and it's our turn now Bella." Alice said softly. "Time to go." I didn't move.

"Could I ask one favour?" I whispered. "Could you get Carlisle for me please?" Alice hesitated for a moment before smiling and nodding.

She was only gone from the room for a moment before Carlisle knocked and stuck his head around the door.

"Come in." I told him.

"Alice said you needed me." He said, walking over to me. "You look beautiful Bella." I felt the heat start to creep into my cheeks as I looked down at my feet.

_You can lose what you're not thankful for,  
I don't want that to happen to you and me,  
Better count my blessing._

"I was wondered if...that is, Carlisle...my dad can't be here and I want someone to give me away." I whispered. I felt the tears roll down my cheek as I realised how sad it was that my dad never got to give me away at my wedding, never knew that I found happiness...

"I'd be honoured Bella." Carlisle replied, taking my hands in his. "Shall we?" I nodded, as he quickly brushed the tears from my cheeks and took my arm in his. Alice opened the open for us with a big smile on her face.

"It's time!" she beamed. The moment we stepped out of the front doors of the house and stood at the top of the stairs music filled the air. I barely saw the small crowd of people either side of the path, all I saw was Jasper. He was waiting for me and every step I took towards him the brighter I saw his smile. That smile could take my breath away every time. How could I have been nervous about this?

_One, you still move me;  
Two, three, you send chills right through me;  
_

Edward stood by his side but I saw not even the hint of sadness, in fact he was looking straight past me. As we got closer I met Jasper's gaze and smiled back at him. After all that last minute panicking; this was a piece of cake. All I wanted was to reach the man I love and say "I do".

_Four, you keep me wanted more;  
Five, when I look into your eye;  
_

I didn't even bother looking around at the other faces surrounding us. Even though I knew they were all friends and family in this moment...it was just Jasper and I; the man who had saved me from going through my life alone and miserable, the guy who had become my closest family, my best friend and was about to be my husband...forever...

_Six, you're my best friend;  
Seven, that will never end;  
_

I didn't deserve him. He said the same thing about me all the time. I guess we were both just lucky. Carlisle and I reached the front at last and he smiled at Jasper.

"You two look after each other." He told us, placing a kiss on my cheek before handing me to Jasper. Jasper's cool hands clasped tightly around mine as we stood in front of everyone and Carlisle took a seat next to Esme. Alice came to stand to one side of us at the front with Edward. I stared into Jasper's golden eyes and let him feel every bit of the love that I felt for him.

I barely heard the minister's words until it was time for the vows. I smiled up at Jasper as I spoke to him.

"After everything that happened to me in the time since we parted ways I had pretty much resigned myself to the fact that my life would never be that perfect again, but there you were. I love you Jasper." I said softly, my voice shaking on nearly every word.

"You're a danger magnet, you're clumsy and you have the worst taste in men for you, but darlin' I'm so grateful for all of that. There must be someone out there looking out for me because I sure as hell don't deserve you, but I promise to spend the rest of forever trying. Nothing would make me happier than knowing that for the rest of forever, you're mine." Jasper replied.

"Do you take each other, to love, honour and cherish, in good times and bad and remain true to each other as long as you both shall live?" the minister asked. First he looked at me.

"I do." I nodded, feeling my tears in my eyes again.

"I absolutely do." Jasper said, squeezing my hands in his.

"Then may I now present to you all the new Mr and Mrs Whitlock." He announced. "You may kiss the bride."

_Eight, nine, I don't know why, but thank God it happens every-time;  
By the time I get to ten,  
By the time I get to ten,  
I can see how blessed I've been._

"Come here, come here." I babbled, pulling Jasper's lips against mine, anything to stop me from crying with sheer joy. We broke apart as everyone cheered and for the first time I took in the surroundings. The pathway from the house was created by a column of oak trees on either side, then the area set up for the ceremony was a small garden surrounded by stone pillars. There were hundreds of tiny white lights amongst the trees, bushes and pillars brightening the darkening sky.

Everyone came forward to hug us, the hot being Jake and the other wolves and the cold being my new family and a few other faces that I didn't recognise.

"Bella, meet Peter and Charlotte. They're some of my oldest and dearest friends." Jasper said, he gestured to me. "This is my wife Bella." I focused on their red tinged eyes and then looked nervously at Jasper.

"She's beautiful old friend." Peter spoke up.

"And she smells divine." Charlotte added.

"Don't worry, they won't hurt you." Jasper smirked. "Even if they aren't strictly vegetarians they just feed off of whatever is...close and convenient they don't hunt and kill humans for fun like most."

"Bella I'd like you to meet the Denali's." Carlisle's voice chimed through. "Some family of ours from Alaska. Please I'd like you to meet the newest member of our family, Bella."

Jasper and I smiled at everyone, hugged everyone and enjoyed our night. We danced in the garden once the chairs were put away and food was served for the wolves and myself.

"Was it as bad as you thought?" Jasper asked me, tightening his arm around my waist as we danced.

"It was perfect." I replied. "It wasn't huge and over the top and it was...us...the whole day has been perfect."

"I'm glad, Mrs Whitlock." He grinned, ducking his head to lay a quick kiss on my lips.

"You guys are going to miss your flight unless you start saying goodbyes." Alice called over to us.

Far be it for us to question Alice, I pulled away from Jasper to start saying my goodbyes. Emmett practically crushed me before he let me go only to start making rude jokes to Jasper about the honeymoon.

Edward, had been Jasper's best man...he had stood right there and watched his brother marry his ex-girlfriend. He was stronger than I would have been if the roles were reversed but to be honest he didn't look upset anymore.

"Congratulations." He told me, taking my hands. "Be happy, Bella." I leant forward and placed a kiss on his cheek causing him to stiffen slightly. Of course I had forgotten his control issues... He smiled though and hugged me.

"Thank you." I told him. Saying goodbye to Jacob was the hardest. It nearly broke my heart. Knowing that any time from now I could start my new life, whenever I was ready...and when that happened Jacob and I would never be the same.

"I love you, Bells." He told me, squeezing me in an Emmett hug.

"I love you too." I told him and once again the tears stung the back of my eyes. What was wrong with me today? "I don't want to lose you for good..." I sobbed.

"Bella, it's time." Alice said softly, reaching for my shoulder. I disentangled myself from Jacob and started to back away.

"Maybe you won't." Jacob replied quietly as we walked away, but I heard him and it gave me hope. I had hope that everything would work out.

I sat in the passenger seat of the car and looked over at Jasper as he started the engine.

"Ready Mrs Whitlock?" he grinned.

"Always." I replied. He seemed so full of pride every time he said that... I couldn't help the warmth that filled me. Jasper Whitlock was mine, forever. And I planned on making every second of it count.

_By the time I get to ten,  
I can see how blessed I've been._

Author's Notes: Hope you liked it. Only one chapter left! I'm not finished with it yet there's a lot I want to get said in it and hope you all enjoy every minute. Please let me know your thoughts and check out my twilight music videos for bella/jasper bella/Carlisle bella/Edward and bella/Jacob on youtube under the user astartelyianna.


	21. Chapter 21

Author's Notes: It's here! This is it people! The final chapter! No sorry this isn't the final chapter I lied. It turns out that the chapter was just getting longer and longer so I've had to cut it off and continue another chapter for the final chapter but it's all coming to an end and I'm kind of sad but very excited to start on new things. I hope you have all enjoyed reading it and hope many more will continue to do so. Please check out my other twilight fanfiction and also my youtube profile for fanfic music videos and trailers. Just go onto youtube and search astartelydianna.

The songs used in this chapter are; Sterling Knight – Hero, Brad Paisley – Oh Love

As always a big thank you to my beta JenJenSon for all her help.

Disclaimer: I don't own twilight, the characters, the film or books and make no money from this story. I also don't the songs used, mentioned in the author's notes.

Scars

Chapter 21

Jasper POV

Bella looked at me curiously as we boarded the plane but didn't say anything. I put her bag in the overhead compartment and gestured for her to take her seat near the window; not that she'd be able to see much since our journey was perfectly timed so that the sun wouldn't alert anyone to the fact that I wasn't human.

_I'm no superman, I can't take your hand  
And fly you anywhere you wanna go, yeah_

"Where are we going?" she asked me, once I too had taken my seat.

"If I tell you it won't be a surprise." I replied. "Now get some sleep."

"How long is the journey going to take?" she asked, sitting up in surprise.

"A while." I smiled, leaning over to kiss her. "But if you sleep it'll go much quicker." She sighed in defeat and lifted the armrest in between us so she could lean against me...although my side was probably harder than the armrest.

I put my arm around her and stroked the soft skin of her arm. This was my wife. This beautiful woman next to me was mine. I had done terrible things in my life, many terrible things and still fate had granted me an angel and I would always be grateful for that.

I may not be the safest person in the world for her, I may not be the best person in the world for anyone for that matter but I would do everything in my power to love her and give her whatever she needed.

I can't read your mind, like a billboard sign  
And tell you everything you wanna hear but 

I'll be your hero...

I promised myself now that I would keep her safe from harm. I would cheer her up when she was down and love her more than anyone else could. I noticed her breathing even out as she drifted off to sleep and bent down to kiss the top of her head.

"I love you Bella." I murmured into her hair. I swore that my young wife would never regret the words "I do". She would be happy for her entire existence, human or otherwise.

"I love you." Her small voice said interrupting my train of thought for a second.

"I thought you were supposed to be sleeping." I whispered.

"No, just enjoying the moment." She said softly.

_I, I can be everything you need  
If you're the one for me  
Like gravity, I'll be unstoppable  
_

"Darlin' once we get to our destination we are officially on our honeymoon so I suggest you sleep now." I murmured suggestively, smiling to myself at the small flash of lust that shot through her.

"Why didn't you say so?" she chuckled. "Will you read to me? Or sing to me? I'll probably fall asleep quicker that way...rather than if I'm concentrating on trying to sleep."

"Of course darlin'." I replied. I pulled her closer against me and starting singing into her ear in almost a whisper so that only she could hear me.

_I, yeah I believe in destiny  
I may be an ordinary guy with heart and soul  
But if you're the one for me  
Then I'll be your hero_

Bella POV

I awoke a while later when Jasper told me we were switching planes but once on the second plane I fell asleep again almost instantly. Then Jasper woke me again to switch to a car and then boat. This time I didn't sleep. I tried to focus on my surroundings in the dark, the stars overhead were clearer than I had ever seen. The water splashed against the sides of the small boat as Jasper began to move it forward. I couldn't help but notice that the breeze was warm.

I couldn't see anything ahead though...everything in front of us was just dark water and sky. After a while I couldn't help but ask the question.

"Is it much further? I'm only human you know." I spoke up.

"About another twenty minutes give or take." Jasper smiled. "It'll be worth it. Timing is everything Bella."

I wanted to ask why but knew I probably wouldn't get a real answer. Maybe he just meant because he could only travel out of the sun... I sighed and sat back for the journey, looking out ahead at the dark.

"Hey Bella?" I heard Jasper call over the boat's engine. "Now's about the time you want to look." I snapped my gaze up from the water to the view out front and my breath caught. A small dark silhouette of an island appeared out of the water ahead and behind it the sun was starting to rise.

"Where are we?" I whispered, as we got closer and I was able to see the island clearer with its beaches and trees.

"Well, Esme and Carlisle have allowed us to borrow their island." Jasper replied, slowing the boat to dock it at the small wooden dock. "This darlin' is Isle Esme."

"Isle Esme? Carlisle brought her an _island_?" I asked, my jaw dropping.

"Love makes us all do crazy things." He grinned, tying the boat and unloading the suitcases.

Strong like a mother holds her child  
Free as horses running wild 

"Yes...it does." I murmured, stepping off of the boat after him as he reached for my hand. He lifted all of the cases in one hand and put his other arm around my shoulders to lead me off of the dock and along the beach. "This is amazing..."

"Our kind very rarely get to enjoy sun without causing a scene so the island was a perfect gift." Jasper nodded. "Maybe I should buy one." I thought about a life without sun, I think I would definitely feel like something was missing. Besides watching Jasper sparkle was always worth seeing.

"Maybe you should." I chuckled.

"What's this? Bella Swan agreeing to spending an outrageous amount of money on something?" he mocked.

"Ah but I'm not Bella Swan anymore." I pointed out.

"My apologies ma'am." He replied, placing a kiss on my cheek. Then only a little way in front of us stood a house. A rather large house for an island but I suppose if you have an entire island for yourself you can take up the whole thing with a house if you wish. I looked back towards the dock and the lapping water on the beach then to the trees and gardens surrounding the house then my gaze settled on the beautiful man next to me...it was like I was in heaven.

_And real as a prayer on a lonely night  
And sure as the ocean tide  
_

Suddenly Jasper whirled me into his arms and held me against him with one arm before grabbing the handle for the suitcases with the other. As we reached the porch he let go of the suitcases to open the front doors one at a time before picking them up again and carrying me into the house. He proceeded to carry me through the house in the dark until he reached the back of the house. He flicked on the light to reveal a large white room.

The room was bright and one wall was nearly entirely glass where I could see the sun already rising above the trees now. In the centre of the room was a huge white bed. I squealed as Jasper dropped me on it before turning to put the suitcases in the corner of the room. He looked back at me and I could practically feel the love in his gaze...maybe I could, maybe he was projecting I wasn't sure but it felt wonderful.

_Oh love, Oh love  
Oh the many colors that you're made of__  
_

This man had taken on the challenge of fixing me when I was broken. I thought I was ruined for anyone else but I have never been so glad to be wrong. Now that I had him I couldn't imagine my life without Jasper and thankfully now that we were married...I wouldn't have to.

"What do you want to do first? Sleep? Shower? Eat? Swim?" he asked me, stalking towards me with that sexy smirk of his.

"Swim." I croaked, trying not to melt into the bed under his heated gaze.

_You heal, You bleed  
You're the simple truth and you're the biggest mystery  
Oh love, Oh Love  
_

Jasper POV

Bella looked so adorable in the more casual dress Alice had made her change into just before bundling her and the bags into the car. The knee length white cotton dress made her skin look tanned instead of its usual pale porcelain colour. Not to mention irresistible.

I dived for the bed and she jumped away squealing and laughing as she ran out of the huge glass doors that had been opened to air the house out ready for us. I followed her at human pace to find her stood only meters from the doors.

"I've never seen anything like this." She breathed, looking out at the blue water now sparkling under the newly rising sun. I came up behind her and placed my hands on her shoulders. "It's amazing."

"I know...and see finally we get to spend some time in the sun." I told her. Then I turned her around in my arms. "Now come here, that dress looks pretty uncomfortable."

"It's actually...yes very uncomfortable..." she replied grinning suddenly. I caught her chin and pulled her into a kiss. This woman was mine. I revelled in the thought while I pulled her closer reaching for the zip at the back of her dress. Suddenly I felt her nerves and embarrassment.

"What's wrong?" I asked her. It's not like we hadn't seen each other naked before after all...

"There's not anyone else...around here is there?" she asked quietly. "I don't really want anyone seeing..."

"Not for miles. The cleaners come from the mainland a couple of times a week when the island is in use but they won't be here until at least tomorrow because they were here yesterday." I replied, pulling her dress down her body to stare back up at her in only her simple, white lace underwear. I made quick work of removing my own clothes also and then slid my thumbs inside the waistband either side of her underwear, tugging her closer to me with them. For a brief moment, I simply took pleasure in looking at her. My gaze drifted down the long length of her neck, lingering on her small but perfect breasts as their peaks hardened with desire and anticipation under my gaze before it travelled down her smooth stomach to her one remaining item of clothing. I listened to her breathing, quick and sharp, taking ragged breaths as her heart pounded. Her desire was strong, I could feel it and I could smell it, it was calling me to her...luring me in.

Then as my mind lost itself to the desire and lust calling us both I brush her against me, kissing her almost savagely. Her arms found their way around my neck, holding on tight matching every bit of my urgency with her own. Then her underwear were torn from her body before I realised my hand had done it and she was in my arms as I carried her into the warm water. Once we both floated in the water I slid my hands down to cup her rear before lifting her so her legs wrapped around my waist. Then I slid into her, her warmth covering every inch. I heard her groan against my mouth and then louder as I began to rock her gently. I took my time to enjoy every feeling I could feel, everything that she could feel. I wanted to savour every emotion. As soon as the sensations started building they grew steadily as I allowed my gift to project everything between us until they became a force that could not be denied and we were both consumed by the sheer bliss of it her lips tearing from mine in a gasp before I dragged her lips back to mine before I could bite down on her. The urge was always there. I needed to mark her but while she was human that was impossible. Then her head fell against my chest and we just stayed for a moment...wading in the warm water under the sun.

Bella POV

Jasper looked so perfect in the sun. Spending months on the island with him would be pure bliss. I couldn't wait to enjoy every second as thoroughly as I enjoyed earlier. Now I lay on the warm powdery sand next to him with a book in hand. Jasper was trying to draw pictures in the sand but as it turns out...when it comes to the arts vampires aren't always gifted. Jasper could play guitar and sing beautifully, he also wrote pretty go poems and lyrics but he wasn't that great at drawing or painting. It was nice to know that they weren't all perfect at absolutely everything. Apparently vampire sometimes lacked in some of the arts because although they have the ability to be technically perfect every time that doesn't necessarily mean their brain is creative.

"What's that?" I asked him.

"A horse." He replied.

"Really?" I grinned.

"I'd like to see you do better." He retorted.

"No thanks." I replied.

"Oh no you don't get to comment on my sand art without giving it a go yourself come on." He insisted, taking my book from my hands. I sighed and looked down at the sand.

"Fine, I'll try but trust me you won't be impressed." I sighed, turning to grab my bottle of water and tipped it on the sand.

Sure enough some time later I had formed something that vaguely resembled the shape of a horse...or maybe a dog with strange hair. At least both of our attempts were laughable.

Then as Jasper turned to focus on his to try and turn it into something else. I grinned and made to do the same only as I scraped up my horse I picked it up and dropped it across his back making sure it went down the inside of his t-shirt.

"Hey!" he protested. Grabbing a handful of his and stuffing it down the inside of my own t-shirt. I cringed but laughed none the less.

I grinned to myself as I shook my shirt out and he did the same. We both stood and he pulled me into a hug. I smiled to myself as I felt the warmth inside that I always felt in moments like this. I couldn't imagine anyone else here with my right now. There was no one out there as right for me as him, not even close. Jasper was my best friend, my family...my everything. What would it be like when I was a vampire as well? I grinned to myself at least I wouldn't have so many accidents.

"What's so funny?" Jasper asked.

"Just thinking of some of the upsides for being a vampire." I replied.

"What did you come up with?" he chuckled.

"Besides being able to spend forever with you, live forever and be really strong and beautiful you mean?" I laughed. "I was thinking about being less clumsy."

"Ah yes." He smiled, placing a quick peck on my lips. "Did you know that Alice removed all of the rugs and mats from the house here before our stay in case you tripped over them?"

"I'm not _that_ bad." I protested.

"No darlin', you really are." He chuckled.

"You know what the worst thing is?" I groaned. "I really am aren't I? I really won't miss it."

"And I won't have to stop trying to bite you." He murmured.

"Does my blood still bother you?" I asked. "Do you need to hunt?" I wondered to myself if there were many animals to hunt on the island or if he would have to go to the mainland.

"Actually...it's not really a blood thing." He replied. He looked almost embarrassed... "It's more of a...vampire marking their mate thing."

"You want to leave a mark on me?" I asked, now more confused than I was before.

"When we're together, intimately, I always have to fight the urge to bite you, to mark you as mine." He explained, I felt the heat flush into my cheeks at the thought. "For obvious reasons I can't do that while you're human."

"Oh." Was the only word that left my mouth.

"Sorry if that makes you nervous." He said softly, kissing me softly.

"No, it's interesting to know why you always seem so determined to kiss me...and why you destroyed my pillows that time." I said honestly. Then I chuckled to myself. "Does that mean the pillows are yours forever now?" Jasper didn't look amused and I found myself being lifted over his shoulder and carried into the house.

Jasper POV

It was during the following night that something caught my attention. Bella wasn't as warm as she usually was, despite the warm weather. I thought perhaps she was ill and confronted her the next morning where she agreed with me. She said her muscles had been aching and perhaps she had some kind of flu.

"Here. Vitamin C will do you good." I told her, handing her the glass of orange juice. Then I heard something that caused the glass to slip from my hand and smash on the ground. My eyes fixed on her chest as I listened to her heart. It was beating faster, then slower and it wasn't particularly regular. I grabbed her wrist, perhaps a little harder than I meant to because she winced as I did so. I couldn't find the scar on her arm from where James had bitten her.

"Jasper?" she asked in a tight voice. "Tell me what's wrong."

"We need to call Carlisle." I told her, pulling my cell phone from my jeans pocket.

"Jasper, I trust the island is lovely as always." Carlisle's calm voice answered the phone.

"I think there's something wrong with Bella." I said, trying to keep the distress from my voice until I realised that I really didn't care if I sounded desperate and pathetic. "Something very wrong Carlisle. I need your help."

"Is she ill?" he asked.

"I'm not sure." I replied.

"Does she have any symptoms of illness?" he asked, the calm doctor voice did nothing to calm me.

"She's colder than normal, her heart's beating strangely and...Carlisle her scar is gone." I told him.

"Her scar is gone? From Phoenix?"

"Yes that scar." I said urgently. "Carlisle what's happening to her?"

"Is she alright otherwise? No burning? You haven't had any problems with venom or anything?"

"She said her muscles ache but that's a human thing I am led to believe and I don't believe there've been any problems." I told him.

"I wonder..." I heard Carlisle muse.

"What?" I asked.

"I was wondering if perhaps our saliva is not the only venomous fluid." He said carefully.

"What do I do?" I asked. Had I already doomed Bella to this life without her official consent? I knew she wanted it but she was human she could still have changed her mind and she may not be ready. What if she didn't change maybe it would just kill her?

"If that is what it is Jasper then you only have two choices." Carlisle said calmly. "You either leave her be and see what happens or you change her now. I can be with you by perhaps midday but Jasper if she is changing then the small amount of venom may mean it will take longer than normal perhaps considerably. If you are going to change her now you should do it should before the venom hardens her skin."

"I'll talk to her." I sighed. "Be as quick as you can."

"Jasper?" Bella's quiet voice asked. "Should I be worried?"

"I'm not sure darlin'." I murmured, pulling her against me, avoiding the broken glass on the floor. "Let's go lay down and I'll try to explain." I lifted her into my arms and carried her into the large white bedroom. I was a vampire and still my mind was reeling...how would Bella take it?

Author's Notes: Hope you like! Please let me know what you think xx


	22. Chapter 22

Author's Notes: OK let's try this again. Here's the final chapter guys! Although I can't promise I won't write a sequel at some point down the line after I've had a small break from Bella/Jasper to do Bella/someone else lol.

The song used in this chapter is; Keith Urban – Making Memories of Us

Disclaimer: I don't own twilight, the characters, the film or books and make no money from this story. I also don't the songs used, mentioned in the author's notes.

Scars

Chapter 22

Bella POV

I lay on my back just staring up at the ceiling. I could be starting to change into a vampire as we speak...either that or it could be just a reaction to Jasper's venom or even worse I could be dying.

"Bella, darlin' it's your choice." Jasper murmured in my ear, "It's always been your choice."

"Can you do it?" I asked him softly.

"I think so, I have managed to pull away from your blood before..." he replied. "And those occasions may have left you with trace amounts of venom that have gradually done this to you."

"I didn't think of that." I sighed. "If I asked you to change me...how much time do we have?" I wasn't sure if I wanted to ask this, I felt embarrassed just thinking it.

"I'm not sure...it's not happening quickly but obviously the sooner the better." He said. "But don't feel like this is your only option, Carlisle might find another way."

"It's not being a vampire I'm deciding, I already know I want to be with you forever now is as good a time as any I was just deciding on the how." I said, and then took a deep breath. "You know how you always want to bite me when we're...together...I want you to."

"Bella, that has to be the least safe way of doing this I have ever heard." Jasper sighed.

"I want you to do it, I want to...enjoy every last human moment I can before I change and I...want you to bite me." I blushed. He obviously felt the truth of my statement because he nodded his head and kissed me.

_I'm gonna be here for you baby  
And I'll be a man of my word  
Speak the language in a voice that you have never heard_

His kiss was deep and demanding, setting my body on fire before we had even begun. As he pulled away he smiled, his eyes darkened and filled with a heat that caused a meltdown deep inside me. I heard him murmuring to me but it was either too quiet for my human ears to understand or I just couldn't concentrate on words through the desire that was taking over me. His voice was little more than a stroke of sound that almost caressed against my ear. He stopped to kiss me with a kiss that was both ferocious and passionate.

"I love you." he said, voice so husky, so damn sexy, chills ran across my skin and then he slid into me, claiming every last inch of my body he could.

"I love you." I managed to whisper back before he began to rock against me and all chance of thought was lost. It felt so good, so right; I couldn't help the moan that slipped from my lips before his lips covered mine again. It wasn't long before the ripples of pleasure running through my body became waves that caused his tempo to increase as I gripped his shoulders, digging in my nails though I doubt he felt it. Now he was thrusting deeper, harder and the whole room seemed to spin around us for a moment before his lips left mine and the last thing I saw was his heat filled gaze before his lips found my neck and my eyes closed. As he bit down on my neck my orgasm hit taking my breath away so I couldn't scream even if I had felt the pain. Instead what I felt was sheer overwhelming pleasure for a moment as if time itself had stopped and for moments we both stilled in the afterglow before Jasper pulled away from me to lie beside me.

It didn't take long for the pleasure to fade and the burning to take over. Then I heard screaming and realised it was me. It didn't sound like me. It sounded crazed, possessed and desperate. If I wasn't already wincing and writhing from the pain of the burning I would be from the sound of my own screams. I could hear someone talking to me but I just couldn't focus on it. I hate to admit it but part of me agreed with Edward and Rosalie right now...I would rather die than feel this but I knew it was too late. The venom was already rushing through my system and I could only take comfort in the fact that it would be worth it. Maybe not right away but once I came to my senses and got over my newborn stage it would be worth it.

Occasionally I felt something cold pressing against my skin and then I could hear Jasper's voice. I tried to focus on it, to talk back and let him know I was still in here somewhere but I didn't dare open my mouth for fear screams would be the only thing that came out. It continued like that and I have no idea how long for. I would scream and scream, then I would feel calmer and hear Jasper trying to comfort me and then the screaming would take over again.

Jasper POV

She was in agony. I knew she would be, but feeling it for myself made me feel worse...I did this to her. I caused this. No matter how many times I tried to tell myself that this is what she wanted I couldn't shake the waves of pain and torment that wracked through her body.

"You did it then?" Carlisle's voice asked, as he entered the room. I just nodded in response. "How long ago?"

"Not long after the phone call. A few hours I guess." I replied.

"I'm proud of you. You showed great control Jasper." he told me. But I wasn't proud. I felt sick at the thought that I caused this pain, I forced her into the decision.

"Jasper you need to stop that, you're projecting and it won't help her." Esme's voice said softly, as she too entered the room. I let her pull me into a hug before she moved to Bella's side.

"Well, either you did a really good job and I mean, incredible or our theory was correct and she was already turning. If I had to guess I'd say she was already at least a day in when we know she isn't." Carlisle said.

"A couple of times when we've...gotten carried away my teeth have managed to cut her tongue or lips do you think that would've caused it?" I asked Carlisle, as I slid down the wall to sit on the ground.

"Probably; we'll never know but unfortunately the reality is that if vampires and humans mix this is always a risk regardless of how it happens." He replied. "At least we can take comfort in the fact that this was what she wanted."

"It really was." I nodded. I glanced over at Bella writhing in pain and knew that she was about to start screaming again, I tried to send her waves of calm but it did nothing so I tried love instead. This time I did feel a change...I felt her hope. Whether it was hope that it was all over soon or something I would never be sure but hope was better than blinding pain without any hope.

"Alice wanted to be here but she had a vision of her own future so she decided to follow it." Esme told me softly, sitting down next to me. "I'm pretty sure everything will work out just fine."

"What should I do? Stay here with her where there's is less risk for a newborn or head back to the Denali's where there will be more of us to deal with a newborn?" I asked Carlisle. I already knew what I wanted to do but his opinion was important if Bella and I were going to join the whole family once her newborn stage ends.

"It's too soon to say...I would say you're the best person to assess that when she wakes up and we see how she reacts." Carlisle replied.

"I don't like the thought of leaving you alone with a newborn, Jasper, she could be very dangerous." Esme gasped.

"I think he's had more than enough experience with newborns to judge whether he can handle her or not dear." Carlisle murmured, pulling his wife to her feet and into his arms. "For now all we can do it wait."

"Oh Carlisle, look at her...she's going to be very beautiful isn't she?" Esme smiled, turning in his arms to face Bella who was now lying perfectly still. I could still sense the pain in her but under it I felt hope, love and acceptance. Maybe if I could keep projecting positive feelings towards her rather than just trying to calm her she would have something other than pain to focus on. I smiled slightly to myself as I felt the love and pride from my adoptive parents towards Bella. I took that and projected it towards Bella also.

"Very beautiful." Carlisle agreed.

I moved to stand next to Bella and stroked my hand across her now cold skin. Of course it wasn't cold to me but I was so used to her being hot that it almost felt wrong for her to feel the same temperature as me.

By the next morning I must have lost focus or the pain must have gotten worse because suddenly pain was all I could feel from Bella as screams tore from her throat and her body arched off of the bed in an unnatural way before she practically rolled off of it. Carlisle and I dashed to catch her and I gathered her up as best I could in my arms as she fought against me.

"I think it's nearly over." Carlisle told me. "Listen." As I listened I could hear her heart struggling. He was right it sounded like it was nearly over but...it was unnerving that it had happened this fast it made me worry that I could still lose her. I clutched her tightly against me and listened to her hearts last struggling beats.

_I wanna sleep with you forever  
And I wanna die in your arms  
In a cabin by a meadow where the wild beasts warm  
_

Silence. For one moment we all stayed silent when Bella's heart was no longer beating. For a moment I couldn't feel anything from her either.

"She'll wake up any moment, let's get her on the bed just in case she lashes out." Carlisle said. I didn't argue, as much as I didn't want to let Bella out of my arms; I knew he was right. I knew firsthand exactly how unpredictable, fast, strong and dangerous newborns could be.

Briefly I started to worry about how she would react. Would she still be in love with me? Would I have to wait until her newborn phase had passed before I could kiss her and touch her again? Would she see my scars through her new vampire eyes and run? Then I felt it; Bella was awake. At first it was just a little bit of confusion and then as Bella's eyes opened her emotions came crashing around me.

"Bella? Do you know who I am? Do you know where you are?" Carlisle asked, in his soothing Doctor's voice. Bella just nodded in response but I couldn't help but crack a small smile at her super fast nod. She wasn't used to her new body yet.

"Bella darlin'? How do you feel?" I asked her, stepping closer to the bed.

"I feel...strange." she replied. Then her hand flew to her mouth in surprise. "What's wrong with my voice?"

"Nothing darlin'." I replied. "It's just a little different." Then I saw her eyes widen in shock as she looked at me. I knew that she was now able to see my scars with better eyes. The scars that through vampire eyes could be seen from a distance, the worst two were on my chest and on my thigh but there were more than enough between those places that although weren't as bad were still clearly visible. I feared slightly that she would see my imperfections like Alice had, no matter how much she had loved me they were still ugly to her.

Instead I felt a shiver of desire. I glanced at Bella's face, was that me or her? Then she pounced. I ducked around her arms away from her, it was more of a natural reaction to a newborn pouncing at me than through actual fear she would hurt me. I felt a spike of rejection from her and looked up. She wanted me? Now?

"Bella, I think we should take you hunting." I told her.

"Can't I at least say hello to you first?" she asked. "It feels like forever since I've been able to kiss you."

"Aren't you thirsty?" I asked, standing my ground and letting her come to me. She touched her throat as if suddenly remembering it and then I felt the hunger from her.

"I hadn't noticed that until you mentioned it." She replied. "I guess I am kind of thirsty."

I looked over to Carlisle for help but he just shrugged. Bella now stood in front of me pouting slightly; I reached one arm around her back and pulled her a little closer. It felt weird to me, being so close to a newborn when all of my training told me not to. She tilted her head up and kissed me softly, or rather that's how it started but before long I felt myself being crushed into the wall behind us before I had to duck and move away from her again. I glanced again to Carlisle and Esme in embarrassment but I knew it wasn't Bella's fault. She didn't have very much control on her emotions.

_And I'm gonna make you this promise  
If there's life after this  
I'm gonna be there to meet you with a warm, wet kiss  
Yes I am  
_

"We need to go hunting now darlin'." I told Bella, calmly. "We've got all the time in the world now to be together but right now I really think you need to hunt."

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing is wrong Bella." A voice piped up from the window as a small dark figure walked in. Alice. "Jasper's just worrying over nothing."

"I thought you were busy?" I asked her curiously.

"We couldn't miss this." Alice grinned. I was about to question the "we" but moments later Edward entered the room behind her.

"She needs to go hunting." I said firmly. "Can your impromptu visit wait a few hours?" I glanced to Edward who was frowning at Bella. When he saw me looking he looked a little sheepish before a grin slipped onto his face.

"Just checking." He said. "She's still as silent as ever."

"I'm right here you know." Bella's voice called. She sounded rather annoyed but I didn't felt much anger coming from her.

"Ready?" I asked Bella.

"Wait!" Alice protested. "I brought a present!" We all sighed and focused on the little pixie who just grinned broadly at us. "Actually I brought two! One for now and one for after you've been hunting."

After some arguments and negotiations Edward, Carlisle and I left the girls while they quickly dressed Bella. Bella wasn't very impressed about not being allowed to change by herself but I refused to leave her alone until she had hunted; besides I doubted she had the control to change her clothes without ripping them yet.

Moments later Esme opened the door and there stood Bella in tight black jeans, knee high boots and a dark blue blouse. She was beautiful, I was grateful I didn't need to breathe because she was breathtaking. I thanked God for granting me this beautiful, amazing woman.

"Now are you ready to hunt?" I asked her. She nodded, her hand again reached to her throat.

"It hurts, like the venom is still burning me." She said softly.

"That's normal darlin'." I told her, taking her hand and guiding her towards the large open doors. "I'm amazed that you're coping this well. You're doing wonderfully."

She hesitated near the doorway where the light still poured into the room. I stepped into the light first letting it reflect off of me as I led her out of the doors. She followed cautiously, her new senses taking over.

"It's a good job we're in the middle of nowhere. This place is perfect. There's a few animals to hunt to the far side of the island but we'll need to go further afield in the long term." I explained to her as we ran towards the thickest part of the trees.

_We'll follow the rainbow  
Wherever the four winds blow  
And there'll be a new day  
Comin' your way  
_

Bella POV

It was strange hunting with Jasper. I wanted to be disgusted with myself but it felt too good, too natural. I was almost like an adrenaline rush. Watching Jasper hunt with me was almost as incredible, he was so much more graceful...at least I now had centuries to practise.

It was hard to believe that this was it now, I was a vampire...

I had wanted it, spent years wanting and wishing my life had been different and now I was actually here. I was part of the world that Edward had fought so hard to keep me out of. I looked at Jasper as he finished feeding and dropped the dead carcass. Although I could now see the scars as I couldn't before they still weren't as horrible as I thought they would be from how he had described them. In some places they were silver crescents covering his skin and in others they were a more angry red that showed exactly what he had gone through. My shock wasn't so much horror at the sight as horror at the thought of the pain he must have gone through. If I thought about it I had to admit to myself that some of them were pretty ugly and I felt a little ashamed at how shallow I felt but they didn't change that fact that Jasper was beautiful. He was still incredibly sexy and he was still my Jasper, no way were some scars going to get in the way of our forever. After all I had been mentally scarred and Jasper hadn't given up on me.

Jasper made his way over to me when he noticed me stood still for a while.

"Full already?" he grinned, I nodded.

"I'd like to go back to the others...sort of meet them all I guess." I replied.

"Of course." He smiled wrapping his arms around me possessively and placing a chaste kiss on my lips. "We have forever to be alone now, I don't mind sharing you for just today."

_And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you  
And I'll earn your trust making memories of us  
_

"How very generous of you." I smirked, as he started back towards the house.

As soon as I spotted the small group of people outside the house I sped up and left Jasper behind.

An instant later Emmett found himself on the floor as I practically threw him to the ground.

"Whoa! Bells! Looking good! Did you do something to your hair?" He chuckled as we both got to our feet. Everyone laughed as I leapt into a huge bear hug, only for the first time it wasn't me being crushed. "Ouch!"

"Sorry." I said sheepishly as I stepped away from him. "I forgot."

"No you didn't vampires don't forget." Edward put in with a smirk on his face.

"You're right I didn't but it was only a joke." I said to Emmett as he narrowed his eyes at me. "Emmett No!" I yelled as he dived for me trying to duck out of the way. I was stronger and faster but a lot less experienced.

"You're gonna get it!" Emmett grinned.

"Would you mind putting my wife down now?" Jasper's drawl broke into everyone's laughter. Emmett quickly dropped me but thankfully my new fast reflex's allowed me to land on my feet.

I glanced at my new family. Carlisle stood behind Esme his arms draped over her shoulders and a relaxed smile on his face, Esme looked happier than I'd ever seen her... Then I glanced at Alice and Edward, standing very close to each other; and even though they weren't touching or looking at each other there seemed to be a connection...they just looked comfortable being that close. My gaze met Alice's and she grinned and winked. I couldn't keep the grin from my face as I glanced at Edward. He looked like a deer caught in headlights, a look I had never seen on him before but he almost instantly composed himself. The rest of the family hadn't missed it though and I felt Jasper reaching out with his powers...that was odd; I'd never been able to feel him using it when it wasn't on me before.

"One big happy family again?" Jasper asked, looking pointedly at Edward.

"Funny how things work out isn't it?" he replied.

"Fate perhaps?" Carlisle smiled.

"Or just weird!" Rosalie laughed.

"I think it's wonderful news!" Esme said proudly.

"Me too!" I agreed.

"What the hell did I miss?" Emmett asked, looking from person to person. "What are you going on about?" Rosalie rolled her eyes and whacked him over the back of the head. Jasper took pity on his confused brother and patted him on the shoulder before pointing to Alice and Edward. "What?"

"Just look at them Emmett." Jasper told him. "_Both_ of them."

"As in _together_? Ew Bro that's your sister!" he exclaimed.

"Not technically." Carlisle reminded him.

"So we're a family again? No more sulking and brooding?" Emmett asked. Alice smiled and nodded, leaning against Edward's side casually.

"Who better to keep up with someone who can see the future than someone who can see it with her?" I pointed out.

"And you're all ok with this?" Emmett asked, still catching up with the conversation.

"I'll always love Bella, just not that way." Edward said softly.

"And Bella is always going to be my sister." Alice said chirpily, leaving Edward's side to bounce to mine.

"And I'll always love Alice, as a sister." Jasper agreed.

"Well that's all lovely and mushy, are we done now?" Rosalie asked.

"I guess...it's just weird it doesn't seem so long ago that Edward was moping about leaving Bella and we were all upset and Jasper couldn't handle us being miserable and we were all split up." Emmett shrugged. "But now everyone's happy."

"That's the funny thing about scars." I smiled, leaning back into Jasper's arms and looking at my family surrounding me. "They may always be there but they no longer hurt and they always heal."

_I'm gonna be here for you from now on  
This you know somehow  
You've been stretched to the limits but it's alright now_

Author's Notes: I'd like to thank JenJenSon for being my beta the whole way through this she's been an angel! I'd also like to thank every single one of you who has reviewed and I hope that you will consider reading my other Twilight fanfics.

Thank you everyone

Astarte-Lydianna xxx


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